TheEmbiggening

TheEmbiggening

138p

18,950 comments posted · 54 followers · following 69

6 hours ago @ Crasstalk - Time for the Weekend O... · 0 replies · +1 points

As Dogs says: get the house in the burbs.

As I say: cause you'll look like just another lawn-mowing, apron-wearing cookout dad, but when the shit hits the fan and the revolution comes, you'll have the street smarts to corral people into a cohesive force to defend the neighborhood, and you'll have enough matching tracksuits for all.

11 hours ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 0 replies · +1 points

Currently in LAX sucking at a medicinal chocolate bar, cause I have a tender new crown on one side of my face and a half-hole on the other side. But not to worry, come Monday I'll have a sunken empty gum where the hole used to be and a new implant sewn into the other gum.

I miss whole celery and carrots.

ETA If you see San Francisco covered with more smoke than usual, you'll know I'm doing my best to inhale as much as I can before Monday.

1 day ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 0 replies · +5 points

I never get picked because my face belies my interior: I'm kind and impartial, but I look mean and partial.

1 day ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 1 reply · +9 points

I'M not getting sick three days before dental surgery, YOU are.

Dammit.

1 day ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 0 replies · +1 points

Kermit say "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

2 days ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 0 replies · +4 points

Like all craven toadies, he is spilling a lot of beans, coming apart at the shoddily constructed seams, desperately forthcoming in an attempt to stay alive.

2 days ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 3 replies · +5 points

Today saw many birds not usually seen here at this time of year. "Tweet tweet, human, tweet tweet!" and my resigned reply is "Tweet tweet - hey birdies! I know, I know!"

2 days ago @ Crasstalk - Chug Along Open Thread · 1 reply · +7 points

I bet fat rat or hog or black snake, brought up by the unseasonable weather, looking for a bottom to bite.

4 days ago @ Crasstalk - Get Out There Open Thr... · 2 replies · +6 points

One side of the family already began planning this year's July4th reunion in the mountains. Other side of family apparently moved their own reunion to July4th, but at the beach, which info was relayed with false concern from one cousin to my Aunt at a semi-public luncheon.

HVDT, Oh Here Go Hell Come, can you all feel the growing twin silences of disapproval and disappointment?

4 days ago @ Crasstalk - Get Out There Open Thr... · 0 replies · +5 points

Out of all the new things one has to explain to an older person, dental stuff is one of the most frustrating. The type of dentures in the old polident commercials apparently left quite an (ha ha dental joke) impression.