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1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

That's so cool that he (and the Four Lords) are so grounded in specific myths!

The boss is Qitian Dasheng. I found his chibi version chilling in Reisen Temple just now, chilling on a puff of cloud:

It looks like that's the Chinese name of a story about that character you mentioned, Sun Wukong.,_Hea...

An Australian friend of mine saw this and told me about a tv show she used to watch growing up, "Monkey Magic," which sounds based on the same thing. They even show the main character flying on a cloud!

[youtube J-SUoHmpRdM youtube]

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 3 replies · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 102: Elderly Mutant Ninja Turtles (continued, 3/3)

-Flashback, to how Genbu met Tenzen.

-He got his first vision of disaster when he was only 100 years old.

GENBU: “But what was a little turtle to do? For while I had seen the future with crystal clarity, I was powerless to stop it. I could but look on, helpless, as cities burned and men died.”

-One day, he waddled up to a village to warn them of an imminent rockslide. But he’s just a turtle! They laughed at him, couldn’t understand him.

Then Tenzen came. He listened, and helped, with his friend Byakko. They convinced everyone to flee.


Random Stuff Around Eorzea

The Eorzean crooner Mean Martin:


One of the Monster Hunter World crossover rewards, Poogie the Pajama-Clad Pig:

Sharp Meow!

A player with the glorious name of Butterscotch Bill:

lol butts

The first Doctor himself:


Next time: Helping the third of the Four Lords, the firebird.

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 4 replies · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 102: Elderly Mutant Ninja Turtles (continued, 2/3)


Tortoise in Time

-Soroban has been training hard, but he’s still not ready to re-energize the wards. “He simply lacks… divinity.” Ooh, is that Soroban’s arc? Is he going to become an auspice?

-The other two Lords we haven’t met yet are Seiryu and Suzaku.

-To help, Genbu and Soroban have to open a “tamate-bako,” a box holding the power of time. The box will magically age Soroban for 1,000 years, turning him to an auspice (temporarily).

-Yikes. One creature knew that the aramitama would eventually overtake him, so he opened the box to age himself to death. Suicide by time warp.

-The box was placed under lock and key. My next task is to overcome certain trials and recover it.

-The 4-player dungeon to access this is Swallow’s Compass. This is a visually stunning dungeon. It starts outdoors in three elemental-themed rooms.

An underwater tunnel between sections.

-The second boss is some awesome giant watery blob thingermabob.

-The final portion of the zone is the best. We hop from across cliffs via flying clouds, and the final boss is a monkey monk who soars in on a flying cloud.

-I retrieve the tamate-bako at the end and bring it back to Reisen Temple.

-Here we go. Time to unleash the power of time on Soroban. He’s (RIGHTFULLY) nervous.

-Smoke pours out, washes over him…

-NO TATARU DON’T RUN UP TO IT, WTF?? She thinks it’s a fake and eats a mouthful of time smoke.

-Genbu knocks her away, but it’s too late.

”My… my face! My beautiful face! It feels like aldgoat leather left in the sun!”

-It’s only temporary but I’ll treasure these 30 seconds of Old Tataru. <3

-Oh shit, we were so distracted by Tataru that we didn’t pull Soroban out in time! He’s been aged to the point where his aramitama has run wild. We have to fight him to calm him.

-Thankfully, this won’t require another 8-player trial. It’s a solo scenario, with Genbu and Tataru helping.

-It takes me two tries, because Tataru is literally the worst party member ever lol. She gets an area effect on her and starts chasing me for help, dragging it onto me.

-He reverts to his former self, forgetful of what just happened. That was a glimpse of his future? Whew. Soroban’s got some major league power on the horizon.

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 5 replies · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 102: Elderly Mutant Ninja Turtles

Summary: Calming Byakko. Soroban gets a taste of his future.


The Jade Stoa

-Byakko leads me outside, to Yanxia. He tells me of his youth, how he was shunned for his white fur. He survived, grew in power, and resolved to protect this land.

BYAKKO: “In time, they came to see me as a guardian instead of a demon. And yet, for all I have done to rise above the beast within, I may fall to m**ness and become the sum of their fears…”

-This fight is an 8-player trial, “The Jade Stoa.” Prep notes:

Boss: Byakko

-He grabs and throws players. Run to the thrown player and stack to split incoming damage.
-Then immediately run behind the boss.
-Unrelenting Anguish: dodge red orbs.

-Stand behind the tiger add, Hakutei.
-DPS down Hakutei ASAP.

-While falling, dodge AoEs and red orbs.
-AoE safe zone is usually next to Byakko.

-Hundredfold Havoc: Dodge first lightning wave patiently, then dodge second.
-Distant Clap: AoE. Safe zone only in his hitbox.

-The trial area is this bamboo forest in Yanxia.

-Byakko starts the fight by transforming into a humanoid creature with a tiger head for an arm.

-That humanoid/tiger fusion splits during the fight. Phase 2 has me fight just the tiger part of him, “Hakutei.”

-He then throws us into the air with a tornado. We dodge his attacks on the way down.

-SUPER fun fight, one of my favorites mechanically. A real sense of action, like this giant tiger is tossing you around.

-Afterwards, Byakko tells me how he met Tenzen long ago. Before Doma even existed.

-As Byakko grew in power he also grew in loneliness. One day, a man approached him, unafraid. Tenzen,

Hee! XIV!Tenzen looks exactly like XI!Tenzen.

-They were kindred spirits. Tenzen was also thrown out by his tribe for his unique power – Tenzen could speak to beasts.

-We head back to Reisen Temple. Tataru’s here, and Genbus’ been training Soroban.

-Tenzen apparently had the Echo too! That’s what granted him his Doolittle powers.

-The auspices built Reisen Temple after Tenzen’s death, to maintain the wards around Koryo and to honor Tenzen’s legacy.

3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 101: Small Cuddly Gods (continued, 3/3)

-His test of us complete, Genbu the turtle welcomes us to Reisen Temple. He’s “guardian of this sacred place and leader of our little collective.”

-Soroban is taken aback on hearing his name is Genbu. He’s one of the Four Lords who assisted Tenzen.

-All the other cuties here are apparently also ancient beings with stories of their own, called “auspices.”

-Kudagitsune the fox is friends with Tamamo Gozen the Nine-Tailed Fox. (Is that a Korean myth?) Tamamo left to live amongst the world of men.

-Kamaitachi the otter is the cute transformed version of the second boss I fought. They were testing me.

-Senri is either a fat cat or a bunny. “Don’t let our appearances fool you. I could kill you five times before you hit the ground. But I won’t, on account of me being civil. For now.”

Definitely a cat.

-Down here in Reisen Temple, animals that survive long enough gain power and intelligence. The longer they live, the greater the power. They call this “the change.”

-Genbu has the power of prophecy. He summoned me here because he foresaw the Ruby Sea, Yanxia, and Hingashi subsubed by fire.

-Auspices are governed by two forces: Aramitama (rage) and nigimitama (calm). Balancing the two is key. Auspices overwhelmed by aramitama become feral things.

-Auspices seem like forces of nature. They can shift in temperament, causing natural disasters when overwhelmed by aramitama, or helping people when in balance.

-He recalls the legend of Tenzen. It actually wasn’t an oni that they drove out together, but rather the auspice Koryu. They sealed the wild and raging auspice in this temple.

-As memory of the legend fades, so fade the wards binding Koryu.

-This isn’t as simple as “kill Koryu” though. He’s too strong. I need to gather the power of the Four Lords.

-Genbu the Turtle is the first. The other three are nearly overtaken by aramitama.

-I speak to a large beauty of a horned tiger nearby, Byakko.

He’s spending all his fighting back the aramitama. It’s my job to let him surrender, defeat him, and bring him back to balance.


Next time: Saving Byakko.

3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 2 replies · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 101: Small Cuddly Gods (continued, 2/?)

His main mechanic is bargaining with his employer. The employer throws gil across the room, and our party races around collecting gil against Yojimbo’s pupper, Daigoro.

He even has a “funds” mechanic which cracks me tf up. Before he’ll do his big Zanmato attack, the merchant in charge throws piles of gil out for Yojimbo to collect. We have to collect more than him (he sends his dog Daigoro to collect it) to keep his “funds” gauge low, and thus his Zanmato damage low.

-We defeat him, and not by killing him. The merchant just runs out of funds so Yojimbo leaves lolol.

That happened to me so much in FFX. It feels good to be on the other side of that equation.

-The foreign dignitary we save is Lady Liliju, a lalafel inspired by tales of my adventures to travel the world and write.

She’s Lord Lolorito’s niece. His REBELLIOUS, STRONG-WILLED niece. I love her and hope she recurs.


An Auspicious Encounter (new side dungeon)

-An anonymous missive summons me to test me beneath Hells’ Lid, a molten/volcanic island in the Ruby Sea. Test for what? Not sure.

-Soroban the blue Kojin tells me of the legend of Tenzen, associated with Hells’ Lid.

Tenzen was in FFXI. He was a samurai from the east who helped Iroha iirc. He wielded the Phoenix Blade, and had a close connection to the Phoenix esper.

Tenzen, from my FFXI playthrough.

-Foul beings called Oni used to torment the Ruby Sea peoples until Tenzen, “along with the Four Lords” (whoever they are) drove them into the sea.

-But this is all legend. The oni were supposedly kojin ancestors, but who knows.

-Hells’ Lid is the 4-player dungeon.

-The color scheme down here is brilliant. It’s a fire zone, but XIV doesn’t settle for a purely red palate. It infuses blues and violets in somehow. It works, gives the area a much richer feel.

-The second half of the dungeon tells me that the Tenzen-FFXI connection is not coincidence. It’s an underground temple area, the Reisen Temple. FFXI Tenzen was from the Reisenjima Temple.

-The final boss is Genbu, an old, mighty turtle.

His main mechanic is confusing and fun. Each tile in his small area gets an arrow pointing in a different direction, and one has a glowing ball. The ball then bounces along whatever path the arrows take it while we dodge.

-We don’t kill the boss, just defeat him. He transforms into a wee little turtle.



3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 3 replies · +1 points

FFXIV – Part 101: Small Cuddly Gods

Summary: Temple of the Fist. Kugane Castle and Yojimbo. Hells’ Lid and the animal auspices.


To Kill a Coeurl (new side dungeon)

-The Temple of the Fist, home of the old order of the Fist of Rhalgr, lies across Rhalgr’s Reach.

-A woman named Marjorie wants to explore the temple’s ruins.

-The temple is now full of obstacles and traps. A monk of legend awaits at the end.

-The first boss of this 4-player dungeon is actually two bosses, twin coeurls. I always feel bad about killing coeurls. Sure, they’re weird alien things out to kill me, but it’s not their fault. They’re still basically just big kitties.

-The dungeon has two main environments: an outdoors section along the path atop Rhalgr’s Reach, and the far more interesting inner temple.

Entering the temple.

The temple reminds me of FFX temples. Mysterious, smoky, even with little motes of light flitting about.

-Majorie has Twitch-levels of backseat gaming. Like, after I beat the second boss (a test), she chirps: “Look at that! Your time was perfectly average.” Thanks.

-The final boss is Ivan Coeurlfist. The spirit of a great monk who wanted one last challenge.

I love his Ghostly Zeus look.

-The devotion and persistence of that final monk, and the beauty of the temple as a whole, inspires Marjorie. She wants to become a monk herself.


King of the Castle (new side dungeon)

-Outlaws have overrun Kugane castle, demanding that Kugane close its borders to ijin/foreigners.

-They took hostages, including an unnamed Ul’dahn dignitary. Someone I’ve met before?

-The outlaw leader is a merchant afraid of foreign competition. He’s not the problem; his bodyguard is.

-The bodyguard is a great swordsman who “demands exorbitant sums of money, defending his clients with seemingly inhuman displays of strength and skill commensurate with the price he is paid.”


-The zone feels a lot like Shisui of the Violet Tides, the underwater palace.

Rice paper with one of the FFVI head enemies.

-It’s a samurai-centric dungeon. Tons of samurai outlaws pouring every which way.

-The final boss – of course – is Yojimbo. He’s one of the coolest-looking humanoid bosses in game because of the sheer riot of color and shape in his gear. His hat, his scabbard, his EVERYTHING.

Also, lol at his employer in the background elated at his awesome bodyguard.

3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 2 replies · +2 points


For any fellow reaction vid lovers, any recommendations? I'm afraid with this one that most will be a series of "lol stop shoving femnsm in our face u sjws."

3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

Good catch! I definitely want to check those out too.

3 days ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

Ah, so a straight-up XII pull! Awesome. :D