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I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU AGREE THAT DONNIE PFASTER IS THE MOST TERRIFYING X-FILES VILLAIN EVER
WHEN I FIRST WATCHED THIS EPISODE I BASICALLY YELPED AND JUMPED A FOOT IN THE AIR AND THEN HID UNDER MY COUCH
I'm sorry, I just can't say anything else. You are so in for it, Mark.
a) The Lost Symbol
b) Dan Brown
c) 509 pages (this is way too many pages, it only needed like 200)
d) Mystery? Historical thriller?
e) Oh my god your library probably has like a hundred copies
Basically I decided on The Lost Symbol because the writing is EVEN WORSE than The Da Vinci Code and it has a way less intriguing mystery as the central plot. There are about 200 chapters because they're all half a page long for some reason, the dialogue is ridiculous, and it's totally full of racefail. (Like, characters who are not white men are continually referred to as "the African-American man" or "the small Asian woman" over and over again so Dan Brown can be proud of his diverse cast of characters or some shit.)