9,632 comments posted · 49 followers · following 73

7 hours ago @ Wonkville - It's Saturday Evening,... · 1 reply · +7 points

Yes, it's that time. The leaves on the palm trees are a crunchy brown, the little pants-shitters are shitting their pants in school, and outside smells like burning petroleum products. In other words, FOO-BAW!

In honor of the one-year anniversary of our friend Vodka's passing, we've named the league "Vodka Memorial Dumpster Fire." I tried to call it "The Kevin Kemp Memorial Dumpster Fire" but that name was too long for ESPN and all that would fit was "The Kevin Kemp Memorial Dumpster," which, while hilarious and, I think Vodka-approved, seemed a tad disrespectful, even for us.

The league settings are the same yada yada yada emails will be sent and a draft time will be set up some time in the next week or two etcetera etcetera etcetera. You know.


1 day ago @ Wonkville - Omarosa and Trump Tell... · 0 replies · +3 points

Has anyone here read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien? I read it years ago in teh college.

1 week ago @ Wonkville - BREAKING: Giant Orange... · 2 replies · +8 points

Gov. Carpet-Bloblum Doug Douchebag: "This Bloblum represents a future moral crisis and great future investment opportunity for Arizonans. If we embrace the future Bloblum now, we will invest in the future Bloblum now. If we invest in the past Bloblum, the past Bloblum will grow and take away jobs from Arizonans . Either way, no one will pay taxes, except those poor idiots making 10 bucks an hour, who will also see their electricity bill doubled even though they're using fewer kWh!**** Weird! Good job, buddy!"

***this actually happened to us. Thanks, corporate commission!

1 week ago @ Wonkville - BREAKING: Giant Orange... · 3 replies · +8 points

Citizens react: "Yay?!" and "Build the Wall to keep Bloblums out!" Kelli Ward: "I have vinegar if needed!" Sen. McCain: "HENGGH?" Sen. Flake, "I oppose the bloblum." Sen. Flake later voted for a Vomit-supported-credenza promoting the bloblum. Sinema: "Let's give the Bloblum health insurance, once it's a citizen." Me: "Keep the lights on!"

2 weeks ago @ Wonkville - TOAD RUSTLIN' · 1 reply · +6 points

Don't look at me! [ribbit]

Hey creatch, icymi, fun facts about MD politics at the end:

I called Impallaria to respond to Volkoff’s verbal suplex. “A lot of people are charged with a lot of things,” Impallaria told me. “But the real question is: Have you ever been convicted of anything?”

So I asked if he’d ever been convicted. Impallaria declined to answer.

2 weeks ago @ Wonkville - Let's see what's happe... · 0 replies · +3 points

Unrelated, some interesting tidbits about MD politickin' towards the end. RIP Nikolai:

3 weeks ago @ Wonkville - Saudis Buying Up Arizo... · 1 reply · +5 points

I read this the other day and shared it w/ smokey. I was so depressed by the end of it that she had to remind me of the kicker:

In the midst of the tensions in Willcox, the governor of Arizona, Doug Ducey, announced the creation of a water-conservation committee, aimed at groundwater security and reform. Even so, this year only two rural groundwater bills have been introduced in the State House. Each proposed, among other things, to lift regulations, in order to make way for a 7,000-home and a 28,000-home development, respectively, just outside the Sulphur Springs Valley. In a promotional video for one, which boasts vineyards and at least one golf course, the developer calls southeastern Arizona “the best kept secret in the country.”

5 weeks ago @ Wonkville - "Things I hate: Pants!... · 1 reply · +5 points

OK, I understand the sadness that this kid died so young, but that's not why I posted it. Kids, sadly, die every day. This kid was/is/and forever will be a fucking badass! Thrash metal! Viking funeral! Will become a gorilla and throw poo at his daddy from the tree that he created with his ashes! He hates pants!

This kid lived and fucking felt and knew more in his five years than most people could if they lived to be 205. Yes, it's tragic that he's dead. But it's fucking inspiring to know he ever spent time on this planet.

5 weeks ago @ Wonkville - "Things I hate: Pants!... · 0 replies · +10 points

Sorry, must have something in my eye...

5 weeks ago @ Wonkville - FYYFFNFYFT · 2 replies · +5 points

Ask and ye shall receive, sometimes.