6,779 comments posted · 99 followers · following 104

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Tina Fey Tried To Warn... · 1 reply · +31 points

If you don't remember dying it isn't really murder.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Duggar Wedding Scandal... · 1 reply · +21 points

"Gets an answer from the Lord. This on average takes about 48 hours for him to receive an answer"

Her husband upgraded to Almighty Prime this year.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette Live Blog III... · 1 reply · +20 points

Ha ha ha. I'm gonna chop off balls and make 'em squeal. Ha ha ha. My laugh isn't evil. Really, it isn't ha ha ha.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Oh Hey, Paul Rudd Was ... · 0 replies · +6 points

Another Hollywierd lie-berul trampling on the free speech of real muricans!

Hehe, yay Paul for being rad!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Cool Conserva-Ladies: ... · 1 reply · +22 points

I got roofied at a brewery in my hometown of Sacramento about 12 years ago. Had a single beer after dinner and immediately fell off the barstool completely passed out. Fortunately my roommate was there and knew something was very, very wrong. Somehow she managed to drag my body out of the brewery, to my car, drive us home, dragged me up stairs, and into my bed. She stayed with me the entire night because she was scared I would choke on my own vomit.

But obviously none of that happened because some wingnut said it's unpossible.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Charlie P. Pierce, Esq... · 0 replies · +4 points

You didn't make it to the Wonkett drinky-thingys did you?

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Kirk Cameron Proves Pa... · 1 reply · +10 points

“You should have the biggest party on your block, and you should have the reason for everyone to come to your house and before anyone else’s house because yours is the most fun,”

It's totes true, guys. Kirk's parties are the BESTEST!!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Middle-Aged Wonkette O... · 2 replies · +33 points

Babby! Woo hoo! I'd have a sympathy pregnancy to join you but that gosh darn IUD keeps getting in the way. Thanks Obama!


9 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +28 points

Wonkette Ointment. Apply liberally.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +12 points

I get mine done at the Peticure Junction.