6,779 comments posted · 99 followers · following 104

359 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Tina Fey Tried To Warn... · 1 reply · +31 points

If you don't remember dying it isn't really murder.

363 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Duggar Wedding Scandal... · 1 reply · +21 points

"Gets an answer from the Lord. This on average takes about 48 hours for him to receive an answer"

Her husband upgraded to Almighty Prime this year.

364 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette Live Blog III... · 1 reply · +20 points

Ha ha ha. I'm gonna chop off balls and make 'em squeal. Ha ha ha. My laugh isn't evil. Really, it isn't ha ha ha.

365 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Oh Hey, Paul Rudd Was ... · 0 replies · +6 points

Another Hollywierd lie-berul trampling on the free speech of real muricans!

Hehe, yay Paul for being rad!

366 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Cool Conserva-Ladies: ... · 1 reply · +22 points

I got roofied at a brewery in my hometown of Sacramento about 12 years ago. Had a single beer after dinner and immediately fell off the barstool completely passed out. Fortunately my roommate was there and knew something was very, very wrong. Somehow she managed to drag my body out of the brewery, to my car, drive us home, dragged me up stairs, and into my bed. She stayed with me the entire night because she was scared I would choke on my own vomit.

But obviously none of that happened because some wingnut said it's unpossible.

366 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Charlie P. Pierce, Esq... · 0 replies · +4 points

You didn't make it to the Wonkett drinky-thingys did you?

366 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Kirk Cameron Proves Pa... · 1 reply · +10 points

“You should have the biggest party on your block, and you should have the reason for everyone to come to your house and before anyone else’s house because yours is the most fun,”

It's totes true, guys. Kirk's parties are the BESTEST!!

367 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Middle-Aged Wonkette O... · 2 replies · +33 points

Babby! Woo hoo! I'd have a sympathy pregnancy to join you but that gosh darn IUD keeps getting in the way. Thanks Obama!


370 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +28 points

Wonkette Ointment. Apply liberally.

370 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +12 points

I get mine done at the Peticure Junction.