3,044 comments posted · 10 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Asshat Wankers Celebra... · 0 replies · +2 points

No. The League of the South is a no-balls conference.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Asshat Wankers Celebra... · 0 replies · +2 points

The Romans salted the ground around Carthage so that nothing would grow. With the oceans rising due to Climate Change, the Old South may get the same treatment.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Asshat Wankers Celebra... · 0 replies · +1 points

And when they start to turn and run, just remind them that their reward in the Afterlife will be 72 virgin Ann Coulters.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - The Fartknocker Report... · 1 reply · +5 points

When I read the phrase "content calendar works" I immediately thought of Palin and her menstrual cycle. The poor dear was dealing with three things at once: A lunar menstrual cycle, a solar calendar of 30/31-day months (February really was a bitch), and her meth, booze, and blow calendar when the delivery boys would arrive and she'd have to write checks. Her confusion has probably carried over into her now omnipresent senile years.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Rick Perry: Poor Texan... · 1 reply · +7 points

Gregg Abbott flirted briefly with health insurance. Suddenly he remembered what his daddy had told him about the birds and bees so he immediately practiced "insuranceus interruptus" and abruptly pulled out of health insurance so that nothing would happen. That's the extent of sex ed in Texas?

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Tea Party Loon Dave Br... · 0 replies · +14 points

BRAT: a politician who gets his rocks off while talking about rocks and other things of which he knows nothing. If Plato thought that only a rock was needed for education he wasted all the government money he got to start his Charter School/Academy. I guess that Socrates wasn't a very good teacher.

Brat needs to crawl back under his rock.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - All About the D*cks: Y... · 1 reply · +18 points

As one who is very familiar with Florida I can say with certainty that the whole goddamn state could undergo dick reduction surgery and still would be filled with stupid, thoughtless, greedy people, not all of whom are from New Jersey. The gov. of this failed state, if he were to undergo dick reduction surgery, would be reduced to a pile of lies. Decent weather, wonderful animals, and some good restaurants do not make up for the human realities.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - New Republican Congres... · 1 reply · +8 points

Mixed metaphor time:
"Dog chases sailboat"
"Dog catches sailboat"
"Dog bites rudder"
"Dog fucking drowns"

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Creationists Name Neil... · 0 replies · +5 points

The Discovery Institute charges Tyson with working with an airbrush. As a young Didwrong I often looked at pictures of nude women in Playboy and Penthouse, all of whom at that time had certain parts changed somewhat by airbrushing. The result was a belief on my part that all women were smooth and vacant in their lower abdomen and all women had staples in their navels. Perhaps Ken Ham had the same experiences with Playboy and Penthouse and has never gone beyond the airbrush experience. "Hey, Ken! There's a lot more to those women--and to the science of Neil deGrasse Tyson--than you ever imagined. But fap all you want to whatever myth you espouse."

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Scott Walker Way Too S... · 0 replies · +4 points

Walker and simple pond scum have both been around for a long, long time. One, however, is more intelligent than the other.