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3 hours ago @ Crasstalk - Full Circle Open Thread · 1 reply · +3 points

500 fucking dollars to pour wine into another container?

Am I confused on what "decanting" is? Is it not just a fancy-ass word for "pour"?

How does this shit work?

Who would buy this, Dogs? Someone spent money and time in a company designing this

2 days ago @ Crasstalk - Don't Wanna Open Thread · 0 replies · +2 points

I think you can contain the risk of contracting salmonella so long as junior washes his hands thoroughly before and after handling and keeps the living space of his reptile clean, but it's kind of a given this is an animal you're going to have to love and enjoy yourself, because you're gonna be responsible for a lot of its care when your kid is only 8. (Or else he'll have to get it through his head that this creature is his responsibility - do you feel like he could get into the habit of managing the task of cleaning up lizard poop or seeing his pet had fresh food/water on a regular basis?)

At 9, I had guinea pigs. I loved mine, and my Mom was very generous, but it was a lot of work - much of which I had to do alone (and took on) - and as an adult, I'm not sure I'd do it again. I had to clean her bedding every week, my guinea would occasionally pee on the rug when I let her out so she could exercise (you can put newspapers or cardboard down though, or blankets...that's what a lot of people do, but they're constantly washing stuff), and she liked to chew on my clothes when I held her (in hindsight, I should have gotten her wooden chewing toys to wear down her teeth). I had to pig-prep the room and get cords and anything dangerous out of biting range.

The worst thing was that at the time, there were no pet apps. Most neighbors might walk a dog...they have to be trained to change animal bedding if you go away. (Still, pet apps now probably help a lot.)

Supposedly guinea pigs and rabbits are really unhappy unless they're in pairs (I couldn't tell with mine, but I played with her outside of her cage for at least an hour every day.) Something like a hamster can be solitary.

This commitment is gonna be a partnership. Little kids love's hard for them to really understand that you're all committing to a new routine of hygiene, interaction, feeding, and possibly medical care to make sure this new little family member is happy. I don't think I did until we had her, and I'm saying that as someone that really loved her and remembers her fondly. She was still work! Much more work than my cat.

This might not be worth the money, but in NYC, they had this (somewhat overpriced) collective co-op type thing called "the Art Farm" where the pets are kept are with the teachers but kids have access to them. (Boy, membership isn't cheap though.)

You might consider this an alternative, if such exists where you are.

EDIT: My money would still be on a Syrian hamster if you're too creeped out by reptiles, but you have to get a cage it can't escape from easily and SF JR can't take it out and misplace it. If I ever had a small animal again, it'd be a hamster with a decent-sized enclosure and some tubing to play in. (You can also adopt those.)

They make playpens for small animals and hamster balls that make the "outside-of-cage-time" considerations easier.

2 days ago @ Crasstalk - Don't Wanna Open Thread · 2 replies · +4 points

Does he want something he can hold in his hands, or something like an aquatic newt?

I think youtubes might be more helpful about this you can watch/bookmark - setup, food (you might need live bugs in your house and also supplement them ("gutload") so that your critter has healthy bones.

If he's really set on a reptile, leopard geckos are also very cute, get accustomed to being handled, and they're popular for a reason. You can even adopt them on petfinder. He would still handle with washed hands (they can absorb toxins through their skin) and be careful not to drop/spook them, but as far as "cute, cuddly and handleable for a reptile" go - I think leopard geckos are.

I'll say something - I've had small mammals, I've done a little bit of research into a leopard gecko because I'd really like one (other than having to store bugs in my house)....and I can honestly say my tabby is the easiest pet I've ever had, with the highest ratio of interaction and the lowest amount of stress. I don't know if he's fixed on reptiles or not, but if he's in the market for a creature to take care of....a healthy cat mostly takes care of itself. I don't have to worry the stress of a vet visit might kill her. She can exercise herself. She poos in one place and lives where we live, instead of in a 20-gallon tank requiring a heat lamp or a filter.

(It doesn't apply to all cats - some "dog-like" breeds are just...too much trouble...but I never have to worry about taking her out of her cage and cleaning up after she poops on the floor, no weird food, pretty basic health needs. The biggest problems are typical to what you'd find in dogs in that she doesn't particularly like being alone and she's bonded to specific people - something to keep in mind when he's moving out for college. If you're getting animal that has a lifespan longer than 10 years, it might end up being your pet.)

Before you buy I would make sure you have a vet in your area who can work with your desired (small) animal, just in case.

EDIT: I had a female teddy bear hamster that was adorable, quiet, and lived maybe 5 years, if you're looking for a shorter commitment and can't have a cat....

Same problems as all small animals - you'll have to check their food, water and cage regularly, figure out how to give them some time out of their cage (e.g. in a ball), and they're fragile.

3 days ago @ Crasstalk - New Week Open Thread · 0 replies · +1 points

Are you kidding


Don't worry boss, you'll always be Philly Guido trash, no matter what you wear or what outward trappings of "respectability" you dorn

3 days ago @ Crasstalk - New Week Open Thread · 1 reply · +3 points

When I was a lass and when the Velour track suit was considered Clothing for Sexy Girls and it was "socially acceptable to drape oneself in velvet", as Costanza wished aloud to, I thought finding the perfect track suit would solve all my problems. It would magically make me Hot/Someone to Be Taken Seriously, while allowing me to dress comfortably. I was a obsessed with it, and companies could charge, like, $200 for what is now considered sweatpants, but for your body....the sort of clothing you generally never wear to impress, but to run errands/have a nervous breakdown indoors.

God knows having the warm velvety embrace of velour cradling by butt cheeks solves a lot, but before I found said suit....I realized, it would not.

But a track suit and a couple of Puma/bomber jackets are a good thing to have. (I lost both of my jackets somewhere stupid over the last 15 years. Both of them! The city of New York and it's various educational buildings/public spaces have acquired free clothing from me. And they were sharp, too.)

edit: should I taken it as a given strikethrough doesn't work in this fix?

God damn it, devil's dilemma

3 days ago @ Crasstalk - New Week Open Thread · 1 reply · +2 points

I pledge to try to make it a point to use that crass Amazon link (I have my adblocker on - is it in the sidebar?)

If we do that when the inevitable comes....we'll see re: our coffers for fixing shit about Disqus

1 week ago @ Crasstalk - I'm Tired Open Thread · 1 reply · +5 points

That is actually very "Gift of the Magi"

One of these days you should spice up up the evening by making overtures wearing that scent, a tank, a tool belt, and jeans slung low enough to create a quintessential saucy butt peek that reveals itself when you get down to, uh, check her pipes.

Really commit to the "Fat Plumber" fantasy, crack and all.


1 week ago @ Crasstalk - I'm Tired Open Thread · 3 replies · +16 points

Ooh, let me guess - a set of ornamental combs & a watch chain, but....their erotical counterparts. (I'm coining "erotical" as standard English.)

If this is not a "Gift of the Magi" situation with sex toys, I am only medium interested.

1 week ago @ Crasstalk - I'm Tired Open Thread · 1 reply · +4 points

These are cliches but just to add to this thread

1) Is this the real life, is it just fantasy
(Do I even need to add the second line? You could pick a couple Queen numbers)

2) Hello darkness, my old friend...I've come to talk with you again

Both immediately evocative emotionally, across age groups of listeners.

1 week ago @ Crasstalk - I'm Tired Open Thread · 2 replies · +2 points

The allure of edible jewelry and a big candy gem really wore off once it melted all over your hands. But I'm surprised those are still around and that children eat them.

Once in a blue moon I'll eat a Tootsie Roll pop and I'm reminded my lifelong love of sweets and crap food comes at a price...I'm amazed literally anything kids consumed pre-"wellness" is still popular.

I don't even know how kids eat sour gummies and the shit that cut your mouth on the inside...