CapnFatback

CapnFatback

114p

2,406 comments posted · 29 followers · following 49

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists Name Neil... · 3 replies · +21 points

its very first scene, which included tape from the original 1980 series, “in which Carl Sagan professes his allegiance to materialism: ‘The cosmos is all that is, or ever was, or ever will be.'”

In other words, the very definition of "cosmos." Thanks, Pythagoras.

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists Name Neil... · 1 reply · +23 points

Runner up Censor of the Year has to be my childhood Picture Bible, which not only didn't show pictures of dinosaurs on Noah's Ark, but also covered up Adam and Eve's good bits with shrubbery and long hair.

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - House GOP Will Return ... · 0 replies · +25 points

“A family that depends on their own work is more secure,” he said in an interview. “There’s a dignity in taking care of yourself.”

Because if there are any two things a member of Congress knows best, they are hard work and dignity.

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Scott Walker Way Too S... · 0 replies · +39 points

Walker replied, "Based on what I see in the mirror each morning, I'd say that no, the theory of evolution is not true," before hurling his feces at the crowd, slashing teacher union funds, and dragging his knuckles as he galumphed off the stage.

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - John Boehner Mad Enoug... · 1 reply · +11 points

Around these parts, we call it "oral sharting."

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - John Boehner Mad Enoug... · 0 replies · +14 points

during which he suggested the press ask the Senate Democrats “when they’re going to get off their ass and do something, other than to vote ‘No.’

The Democrats have already compromised plenty, Mr. Speaker, seeing how they apparently now share a collective ass.

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Climate Scientists Do ... · 1 reply · +5 points

And you should see what they do to the fudge!

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Climate Scientists Do ... · 0 replies · +7 points

. . . DAMN NEAR KILLED 'IM!

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Climate Scientists Do ... · 3 replies · +26 points

HOAX! The Earth isn't warming; it's just holding its thermometers closer to a sun so it looks like it has a fever and won't have to go to school!

251 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Let's Just Count All T... · 2 replies · +10 points

Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee? I'm just impressed that they've read any book!