799 comments posted · 4 followers · following 15

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Wingnuts Just Terribly... · 0 replies · +6 points

only 22 million acres to go. Go burn I mean. The deniers in CO are having to book extra chiropractic treatments after all the contortions they have to go through when the dead fucking tree is in their yard! Dead from bark beetles. There are huge swaths of the Uncompaghre plateau where every single spruce tree is dead.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Wingnut Matt Barber Vo... · 0 replies · +8 points

Maybe they could start practicing their martyrness by jumping into lion dens and pray that the supernatural being they worship will save them. I'm sure they could sell this on cable, after all people already pay money for cage fights.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Texas State Rep. Jodie... · 1 reply · +17 points

One would suppose that when the gracious lady from Texas makes chocolate chip cookies she leaves behind thousands of bits and pieces of the candy coating from M&Ms.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette's Teen Corner... · 0 replies · +1 points


10 years ago @ Wonkette - Nice Time At Last: Eng... · 0 replies · +2 points

As they say on Reddit ... put your dick in it.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Nice Time At Last: Eng... · 1 reply · +4 points

Dr. Strangehorse or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ponies

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette's Teen Corner... · 8 replies · +12 points

Please treat every other vehicle as though your favorite granny is a passenger there in. Also, when the light turns yellow that means you should try to stop, do not accelerate and race through the intersection. And lastly, if you find yourself expressing your emotions with driving behavior, quit doing that, go play a video game.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Scoop Of The Century A... · 0 replies · +3 points

back in the olden days (2001) our ISP's homepage had a subpage for family safe links.
Well our city fathers did not pay their domain registration fee on time and a German porn site took over the domain. We thought this was hilarious but the True Christian Mother who called in to complain thought otherwise and took her $8.95 10 hours of dial up account elsewhere!
Executive summary: Pith worked at an ISP, could not help laughing when super duper conservative town did not pay their bill and hilarity ensued.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Scoop Of The Century A... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hah, I have a skunk rifle! It is my only gun though, so till bro's?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Jonah Goldberg: If The... · 0 replies · +17 points

One of the 5 signs that you will get cancer, your name is Jonah.