1,564 comments posted · 16 followers · following 15

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Utah Puts Science Stan... · 3 replies · +13 points

They need to add some stuff in science class about Space Jesus. Here's all this hoo-hah about monkeys and fish with feet, but is there even one Space Jesus reference? If we don't teach about him in science class, how will kids learn that Space Jesus is real?

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Hero Hilton Heir Is Em... · 4 replies · +23 points

I have a hard time recognizing Paris Hilton without someone's dingus in her mouth.

(full disclosure: I stole that joke from Ricky Gervais)

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Creepy Michigan AG Who... · 0 replies · +8 points

If you think about it it's really a good deal - only around $2.50 per shame-based, furtive orgasm. Plus he got that cute boy's attention for a while during courtroom proceedings.

Better ROI than a porn site, really.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Sundays With The Chris... · 1 reply · +9 points


For example, "Mack the Knife" is an example of Brecht and Weill picking up an old German song-style called bänkelsang, which took historical figures and turned their lives into a heroic song. Germans at the time would have recognized the song style AND the irony of it being about a child-rapist and murderer. THAT WAS THE POINT, SWANSON YOU ASSHOLE. I've got a masters degree in theatre, but that little tidbit is at its hardest an undergrad English class factoid.

But why actually do research when you can publish a bunch of badly-written sophistry?

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Same Jerks Who Poisone... · 0 replies · +9 points

As a side note, I must say that I appreciate the "Brokeback Mountain" reference, if only because the film contains Randy Quaid uttering what has become my favorite euphemism for buttsexx: Stemming the Rose.

Pure Genius, and an iconic moment in American Cinema.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Is 'Kirk Cameron's Sav... · 1 reply · +4 points

Did he smirk and grin? Cameron has made a career out of the smirk and grin.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Michigan House Protect... · 1 reply · +39 points

No one from the LGBT community has ever had fire hoses turned on them by the police department, they have never had to drink out of an LGBT water fountain. There is no record of LGBT — homosexuals, lesbians being forced to sit at the back of the bus in an LGBT section.

And no African-american has ever been lobotomized, given electroshock therapy or completely shunned by all members of society and their church for being African-american. I do not see your point.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - House GOP Knows DC Vot... · 0 replies · +6 points

A copy of the Jefferson bible was given to every member of Congress until, if I remember correctly, the late forties.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Homeschool Mom Finds L... · 3 replies · +9 points

Is it possible? Have we finally reached it? Peak Derp? The derpularity is upon us at last?

No? Never mind then.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Thing Atop Donald Trum... · 0 replies · +16 points

Late at night, Donald's hairpiece leaves his residence on it's own, in search of human blood and intelligent conversation.