Nature prefers a circumcision.

Who'da thunk we'd ever miss the goofy, populist brand of Illinois gubernatorial corruption from Blago?

If you see Disqus comments still bitterly lamenting the cancellation of TOTN after 2 years, it's sadly not a robot.

The Lear jet pilot is titled "Head Driver".

Someday, he'll laugh and yell "GET OVER IT!" to a crowded room, a la deciding the presidency for GW Bush although he lost the popular vote.

When in doubt:

1.) Assume black men are trying to take your stuff in a zero-sum game.
2.) Then allow yourself to be used as a pawn in some bored, wealthy ideologues' high stakes parlor game (the stakes are partly yours, but you will have nothing to gain).
3.) If you "win," you lose, but you never knew any better and will brag insufferably for years about the time you helped billionaires thwart sensible public policy.
4.) If you "lose," you will blame minorities for your lot in life, and for costing you $77,000 per day for 77,000 years.

...No! No, no, not 66,000! I said 77,000. Nobody's comin' up with 6. 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby.

State v. Needs Moar Trucknutz

I assume that guy's brain has been eaten by a voracious strain of Dolphin Syphilis. Why else would he start bragging about old bestial escapades? (a gentleman never tells).

Herd Immunity? As in: Jesus is my shepherd, I shall not take Satan's devil juice injections?

But if he's born gay, that's okay, because it's a choice that he can change later. #science