335 comments posted · 6 followers · following 11

10 years ago @ Wonkette - You'll Never Believe W... · 0 replies · +2 points

No, silly. I automatically go to AOL when I use my telephone machine and modem to dial up my Prodigy account.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette Teen Korner F... · 3 replies · +17 points

Kid, I'm really sorry you're going through this. The truth is, breakups suck just as much in adulthood because too often the drinking and strippers only add to the shit you have to slog through. Me, I watch a lot of funny movies (I recommend Shakes the Clown) and listen to a lot of stand-up comedy until the pain subsides to a dull throb. ::hugs::

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Famous Austerity Econo... · 0 replies · +3 points

Microsoft Excel doesn't kill professional integrity; people kill professional integrity.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Famous Austerity Econo... · 0 replies · +1 points

Give R & R a break -- consider the "small actual difference" an adjustment needed to offset reality's well-known liberal bias.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Whose Old Lady Is Old ... · 0 replies · +7 points

I'm from Scranton, baby. It's steel-reinforced and steel-belted. When little Justin wears himself out, why don't you give me a call? No, no... don't as late as you want...I'll still be up...know what I mean?

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Fox & Friends Stand Up... · 0 replies · +2 points

Yeah, Kilmeade's "rundown of attributes" comment made me cringe. Just what I want -- a guy like Kilmeade assessing an inventory of my attributes and then favoring me with a "rundown" of them. Ick.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Fox & Friends Stand Up... · 0 replies · +4 points

Maybe one day I'll get lucky and the Rapey One will run down my list of attributes; then I'll know where my place in this world is.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Idaho Teacher Said 'Va... · 0 replies · +3 points

Silly teacher. When I was a kid, we learned all about the birds n bees without having to use fancy words like "vagina". There was ONE SINGLE TERM for all genitalia: "pas-chu", which is Cajun for "not-butt".

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Frederick Douglass Rep... · 0 replies · +4 points

Seeing privileged white jackasses trying to sell that revisionist bullshit (MLK was a Republican but Bull Connor was a Democrat / the KKK was established by Democrats, etc) usually makes me fucking see red. But seeing a black guy helping privileged white jackasses try to sell that bullshit makes my stomach churn. God, I wish Douglass's ghost would torment that sorry bastard.

And now, I suddenly have the urge to watch a good, satisfying revenge-justice fantasy. When's Django going to be released to DVD?

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Wells Fargo Bills Elde... · 5 replies · +28 points

How the hell can that judge have planned to rule in Wells Fargo's favor after all this?? Why wouldn't something like this be worthy of a lawsuit to be heard by a jury? I don't get it.