gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality

Mon, 9 Feb 2015 21:07:03 +0000

They need to add some stuff in science class about Space Jesus. Here's all this hoo-hah about monkeys and fish with feet, but is there even one Space Jesus reference? If we don't teach about him in science class, how will kids learn that Space Jesus is real?

Wonkette : Hero Hilton Heir Is Emperor Of All He Surveys, Also: Arrested

Wed, 4 Feb 2015 20:09:18 +0000

I have a hard time recognizing Paris Hilton without someone's dingus in her mouth. (full disclosure: I stole that joke from Ricky Gervais)

Wonkette : Creepy Michigan AG Who Stalked Gay Kid Gets To Pay $3.5 Million

Tue, 3 Feb 2015 17:25:03 +0000

If you think about it it's really a good deal - only around $2.50 per shame-based, furtive orgasm. Plus he got that cute boy's attention for a while during courtroom proceedings. Better ROI than a porn site, really.

Wonkette : Sundays With The Christianists: Their Satanic Majesties Request ... MORE COWBELL!

Mon, 26 Jan 2015 00:28:37 +0000

Ugh. SO IGNORANT. For example, "Mack the Knife" is an example of Brecht and Weill picking up an old German song-style called bänkelsang, which took historical figures and turned their lives into a heroic song. Germans at the time would have recognized the song style AND the irony of it being about a child-rapist and murderer. THAT WAS THE POINT, SWANSON YOU ASSHOLE. I've got a masters degree in theatre, but that little tidbit is at its hardest an undergrad English class factoid. But why actually do research when you can publish a bunch of badly-written sophistry?

Wonkette : Same Jerks Who Poisoned West Virginia Back With New Name, New Toxic Spills

Fri, 23 Jan 2015 21:57:20 +0000

As a side note, I must say that I appreciate the "Brokeback Mountain" reference, if only because the film contains Randy Quaid uttering what has become my favorite euphemism for buttsexx: Stemming the Rose. Pure Genius, and an iconic moment in American Cinema.

Wonkette : Is 'Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas' Truly The Worst Movie Ever? A Wonkette Investigation

Tue, 9 Dec 2014 19:43:42 +0000

Did he smirk and grin? Cameron has made a career out of the smirk and grin.

Wonkette : Michigan House Protects Sacred Freedom To Tell Gays To Go To Hell

Mon, 8 Dec 2014 18:31:07 +0000

No one from the LGBT community has ever had fire hoses turned on them by the police department, they have never had to drink out of an LGBT water fountain. There is no record of LGBT — homosexuals, lesbians being forced to sit at the back of the bus in an LGBT section. And no African-american has ever been lobotomized, given electroshock therapy or completely shunned by all members of society and their church for being African-american. I do not see your point.

Wonkette : House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn't Mean to Legalize Weed

Thu, 4 Dec 2014 16:12:22 +0000

A copy of the Jefferson bible was given to every member of Congress until, if I remember correctly, the late forties.

Wonkette : Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named 'Zambibia.'

Thu, 4 Dec 2014 16:09:09 +0000

Is it possible? Have we finally reached it? Peak Derp? The derpularity is upon us at last? No? Never mind then.

Wonkette : Thing Atop Donald Trump's Head Wants To Be President Of Facebook

Wed, 3 Dec 2014 16:15:59 +0000

Late at night, Donald's hairpiece leaves his residence on it's own, in search of human blood and intelligent conversation.

Wonkette : Carly Fiorina Begs America To Beg Her To Run For President

Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:21:00 +0000

Sure Carley, I'll beg you to spend millions of your own greasy fail-upward cash in an unsuccessful and humiliating bid to become the president. It'll be just like your senate bid! Please please please please please run? There are terrible campaign decisions to be made that will help you get some of that sweet wingnut welfare!

Wonkette : Duck Dynasty Musical Headed For Las Vegas. Really.

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 22:54:29 +0000

I'm skeptical about this thing's potential for success. I mean, how many times can you play the song "Dueling Banjos" over and over before an audience gets bored and walks out?

Wonkette : FBI Tried To Slut-Shame Martin Luther King Into Suicide in 1964

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:32:01 +0000

Now I am thinking about LBJ making the beast with two backs.

Wonkette : The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:15:30 +0000

ShyPixel is straight?

Wonkette : The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:15:03 +0000

Right? I'm wounded to the core.

Wonkette : FBI Tried To Slut-Shame Martin Luther King Into Suicide in 1964

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:13:29 +0000

How does having sex- even outside your marriage - qualify you as a "sex pervert"? I would not have survived the 60's.

Wonkette : The Duggars Want Photos Of Happy Married Couples. Gay Folks Know What They Must Do

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 17:10:00 +0000

AHEM!

Wonkette : Wonkette Live Blog III: And We Choked Their Rivers With Our Dead

Wed, 5 Nov 2014 04:58:13 +0000

Is it possible to hate someone more than I hate Sarah Palin? Joni Ersnt is making me question that. Fuck this, I'm watching Asian schoolboy porn for the rest of the night.

Wonkette : Old Handsome Joe Biden Has Ten Percent Chance Of Becoming Earth's Most Important Human Tonight

Tue, 4 Nov 2014 21:45:06 +0000

Maybe if he dressed up in a catholic school uniform and wore thick-rimmed glasses...

Wonkette : Hey, You. Yes, You. Have You Voted Yet? You Need To Go Do That.

Tue, 4 Nov 2014 20:17:41 +0000

My polling place was so great today, all these little old people running it out of a craft room the owners had built at the front of their property. People of all colors, everybody friendly and cool. This is how America can be, when it lives up to its promise.