13,550 comments posted · 287 followers · following 14

342 weeks ago @ Wonkville - Post · 1 reply · +4 points

I thought Sheley was as gone as IntenseDebate. Turns out I was wrong on both counts.

344 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Tea Party Loon Dave Br... · 0 replies · +8 points

I get the impression that Dave Brat wants to eliminate public education so that eventually he can be the smartest guy in the room. He'd achieve that goal faster, though, if they just brought back phone booths.

344 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Rick Perry: Poor Texan... · 0 replies · +18 points

Yeah, Rick -- Texas' poor may be drowning in poverty, undereducated, underinsured, more likely to get pregnant as teenagers (the girls, at least), die young, and suffer inordinately from easily preventable and curable conditions -- but really, they're just soooo grateful that they can do so in the name of some sort of doctrinal purity.

Fuck a duck, voters -- remember the last fuckin' time we elected a dumbass because hell, it just might be fun, and how much damage could he possibly do? Good fuckin' gravy.

344 weeks ago @ Wonkette - The Fartknocker Report... · 3 replies · +30 points

Porch dog don't even bark that loud no more, do she?

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 1 reply · +5 points

Hey, since the existence of unicorns is a great point of differentiation from modern science and creationism, I'll bet all them so-called creation scientists have all gotten together and strategized about how to prove this particular assertion and thus bolster their wordview. They should all be jumping at the chance to prove that biblical literalism is not, in fact, the crackpot glorification of ignorance that it's seemed so far.

Why I'll bet right at this moment, aware that their efforts could make a certainty of their LORD's existence to the pooh-poohing masses, groups of creation scientists are figuring out how to find this proof. Creation ecologists are attempting to identify the habitat this beast would have lived in; creationists paleontologists are picking out sites most favorable to unicorn fossil preservation; creation physicists are offering their cyclotrons for examination of said evidence embedded in rock; creation equinologists are examining The Husbandry of Isaiah to see where, between God's creations eohippus on down to the modern thoroughbred, He intended to place the unicorn.

Wow, I'll bet looking for this proof of unicorns has creation science just abuzz -- I can't wait to see the papers, the museum exhibits, the Frontline expose about how modern science has just been a fraud lo these five centuries or so.

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 0 replies · +11 points

They're kinda rennetless that way.

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 0 replies · +4 points

Ken Ham theorizing about information is like unto a blind eunuch waxing poetic about dirty pictures.

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 0 replies · +8 points

Hey, they don't have to read the Bible to know it's always right, either.

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - The Snake Oil Bulletin... · 0 replies · +1 points

What's wrong with that? Hell, that's just The Backstreet Boys meets Alvin and the Chipmunks. I'll bet that's been a Reddit thread for years.

345 weeks ago @ Wonkette - The Snake Oil Bulletin... · 0 replies · +7 points

So everyone from The Osmonds to Stryper are secretly satanists? Hmm -- sounds plausible.