gdp's Comments

Wonkville : Post

Sun, 1 Mar 2015 19:44:29 +0000

I thought Sheley was as gone as IntenseDebate. Turns out I was wrong on both counts.

Wonkette : Tea Party Loon Dave Brat: Socrates Would Want Us To Slash School Funding For Poor Kids

Sat, 14 Feb 2015 19:59:06 +0000

I get the impression that Dave Brat wants to eliminate public education so that eventually he can be the smartest guy in the room. He'd achieve that goal faster, though, if they just brought back phone booths.

Wonkette : Rick Perry: Poor Texans Love Not Having Health Insurance, It Is Their Hobby

Sat, 14 Feb 2015 19:39:06 +0000

Yeah, Rick -- Texas' poor may be drowning in poverty, undereducated, underinsured, more likely to get pregnant as teenagers (the girls, at least), die young, and suffer inordinately from easily preventable and curable conditions -- but really, they're just soooo grateful that they can do so in the name of some sort of doctrinal purity. Fuck a duck, voters -- remember the last fuckin' time we elected a dumbass because hell, it just might be fun, and how much damage could he possibly do? Good fuckin' gravy.

Wonkette : The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

Sat, 14 Feb 2015 19:25:23 +0000

Porch dog don't even bark that loud no more, do she?

Wonkette : Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 02:40:24 +0000

Hey, since the existence of unicorns is a great point of differentiation from modern science and creationism, I'll bet all them so-called creation scientists have all gotten together and strategized about how to prove this particular assertion and thus bolster their wordview. They should all be jumping at the chance to prove that biblical literalism is not, in fact, the crackpot glorification of ignorance that it's seemed so far. Why I'll bet right at this moment, aware that their efforts could make a certainty of their LORD's existence to the pooh-poohing masses, groups of creation scientists are figuring out how to find this proof. Creation ecologists are attempting to identify the habitat this beast would have lived in; creationists paleontologists are picking out sites most favorable to unicorn fossil preservation; creation physicists are offering their cyclotrons for examination of said evidence embedded in rock; creation equinologists are examining The Husbandry of Isaiah to see where, between God's creations eohippus on down to the modern thoroughbred, He intended to place the unicorn. Wow, I'll bet looking for this proof of unicorns has creation science just abuzz -- I can't wait to see the papers, the museum exhibits, the Frontline expose about how modern science has just been a fraud lo these five centuries or so.

Wonkette : Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 02:06:12 +0000

They're kinda rennetless that way.

Wonkette : Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 02:02:45 +0000

Ken Ham theorizing about information is like unto a blind eunuch waxing poetic about dirty pictures.

Wonkette : Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 01:59:05 +0000

Hey, they don't have to read the Bible to know it's always right, either.

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: Have Some Miracle Ginseng With No Ginseng

Sun, 8 Feb 2015 08:26:21 +0000

What's wrong with that? Hell, that's just The Backstreet Boys meets Alvin and the Chipmunks. I'll bet that's been a Reddit thread for years.

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: Have Some Miracle Ginseng With No Ginseng

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 23:38:17 +0000

So everyone from The Osmonds to Stryper are secretly satanists? Hmm -- sounds plausible.

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: Have Some Miracle Ginseng With No Ginseng

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 23:33:24 +0000

Okay, I'll grant that I watched Katie Perry's show with the sound down, but how anybody could object to bubble-gum pop is beyond me. Not that she and Missy Elliot weren't entertaining, but damn, you religious freaks -- just because it's not your preferred genre doesn't mean you have to spend the next week nit-picking the damn thing for satanic references. Hell, I hated the goddamn adorable puppy Budweiser commercial -- because come the fuck on, that's why -- but I don't think about compiling a list of reasons why it means we're at the end of days. Um --though now that I put that down it seems like an entertaining idea. Oh, but I digress -- this reminds me of nothing so much as James Watt's banning of The Beach Boys from the Fourth of July celebration on The Mall in 1983 because they attracted "the wrong element." It's symptomatic of the far right that they're so out of touch they suddenly freak out over things that haven't been controversial for at least a decade.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 21:44:37 +0000

It reminded me of this story I'd read about Henry David Thoreau, whose first book was a tremendous failure -- he once wrote that "In my library I have about 800 books, more than 500 of which I have written myself." Of course if Sarah Palin were anywhere near that level of self-deprecating -- or self-aware, for that matter -- she wouldn't be Sarah Palin.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 20:09:24 +0000

Sarah's grasp of Middle East events is amazing -- she cites that one of the Charlie Hebdo attackers came from Yemen and that now the Yemeni government has been dethroned, as though there's some relationship. Of course, the Charlie Hebdo attackers were Sunnis, like ISIS, and the Houthi militia are Shiites -- allied with Iran and having an especial dislike for ISIS and al-Qaida. But isn't the fall of an unelected and largely unpopular government in Yemen still a sign of the failure of President Obama's foreign policy? Well, no:

The country is also fighting an al-Qaeda insurgency with the help of US drones. Despite the takeover, the US said it was continuing to work with [Yemen] on counter-terrorism.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 19:58:36 +0000

Sarah thought it spelled rogue, so she had to try it.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 19:56:29 +0000

eruloose?

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: Have Some Miracle Ginseng With No Ginseng

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 19:42:21 +0000

Sure, we all know that statistics are the only important way to measure the success of mass-population based approaches like herd immunity. But I knew a guy who had all his vaccinations and got the measles anyway, so screw statistics!

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 19:00:08 +0000

Sarah really said that the Muslim Brotherhood was overthrown in Egypt by one of the biggest popular revolts in history. Wow. No, Sarah, Hosni Mubarak was overthrown by one of the biggest popular revolts in history, and the Muslim Brotherhood got elected, manipulated Parliament when the rules were sort of in flux, fucked up the economy because they gave responsibility for supply of basic needs to their incapable cronies, and when the people started protesting, the military stepped in, which helped with the immediate situation but now nobody's really happy about having no democracy. President Obama was happy to be rid of Egypt's longstanding dictatorship was overthrown, but ultimately when the people aren't being served -- whether it's by a corrupt military autocracy or by a doctrinaire cronyist theocracy, then it doesn't matter what their beliefs are, they need to go. For some reason the idea that having a state that works doesn't seem superior in her mind to having the right doctrine. That Sarah takes doctrine much too far is evidenced by the fact that she's now doing her own hair -- three days before she tapes her videos.

Wonkette : Neo-Nazis Take Wrong Train, Miss Own Rally, Because Neo-Nazis Are Stupid

Tue, 3 Feb 2015 04:28:59 +0000

Best line in the whole report: Klose added, “The NPD is now saying they went to Mannheim deliberately.” Fiendishly clever, those neo-Nazis!

Ah, the infrequently-invoked Stalingrad Retort. Often followed up with the argument that a people who won't die for the Reich don't deserve the Reich.

Wonkette : Neo-Nazis Take Wrong Train, Miss Own Rally, Because Neo-Nazis Are Stupid

Tue, 3 Feb 2015 04:22:29 +0000

Trick question -- they were drunk when they got on the trains.

Wonkette : Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 20:35:57 +0000

Bad news, Swanson -- even Saul of Tarsus knew he couldn't start an ideal society. Hell, he told a mostly unlearned, illiterate audience to be like the little children and stop asking so many questions, and look what that got him. Also, didn't some dude with importance in your religion say "Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's?" Almost makes one think that Jesus (were he to have existed) wasn't even interested in a Jesus-centric society.