gdp's Comments

Wonkette : You'll Never Believe Which Inhuman Monster Doesn't Care To Find Nigerian Schoolgirls (It's Glenn Gre

Sat, 10 May 2014 15:41:51 +0000

No, silly. I automatically go to AOL when I use my telephone machine and modem to dial up my Prodigy account.

Wonkette : Wonkette Teen Korner For Teenz: It's Not Me, It's You Edition

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:05:40 +0000

Kid, I'm really sorry you're going through this. The truth is, breakups suck just as much in adulthood because too often the drinking and strippers only add to the shit you have to slog through. Me, I watch a lot of funny movies (I recommend Shakes the Clown) and listen to a lot of stand-up comedy until the pain subsides to a dull throb. ::hugs::

Wonkette : Famous Austerity Economists: Just Because Our Data Is No Longer Operative Doesn't Mean We Were Wrong

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 01:49:04 +0000

Microsoft Excel doesn't kill professional integrity; people kill professional integrity.

Wonkette : Famous Austerity Economists: Just Because Our Data Is No Longer Operative Doesn't Mean We Were Wrong

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 01:34:30 +0000

Give R & R a break -- consider the "small actual difference" an adjustment needed to offset reality's well-known liberal bias.

Wonkette : Whose Old Lady Is Old Handsome Joe Biden Stealing Now?

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 21:34:41 +0000

I'm from Scranton, baby. It's steel-reinforced and steel-belted. When little Justin wears himself out, why don't you give me a call? No, no... don't worry...call as late as you want...I'll still be up...know what I mean?

Wonkette : Fox & Friends Stand Up For Sexist Pig Barack Obama, Because Bros Before Hos

Sat, 6 Apr 2013 03:36:48 +0000

Yeah, Kilmeade's "rundown of attributes" comment made me cringe. Just what I want -- a guy like Kilmeade assessing an inventory of my attributes and then favoring me with a "rundown" of them. Ick.

Wonkette : Fox & Friends Stand Up For Sexist Pig Barack Obama, Because Bros Before Hos

Fri, 5 Apr 2013 16:06:45 +0000

Maybe one day I'll get lucky and the Rapey One will run down my list of attributes; then I'll know where my place in this world is.

Wonkette : Idaho Teacher Said 'Vagina' During Class On Reproduction But Probably Won't Get Fired

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 19:58:39 +0000

Silly teacher. When I was a kid, we learned all about the birds n bees without having to use fancy words like "vagina". There was ONE SINGLE TERM for all genitalia: "pas-chu", which is Cajun for "not-butt".

Wonkette : Frederick Douglass Republicans Wrong About Frederick Douglass, Everything Else

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 18:03:07 +0000

Seeing privileged white jackasses trying to sell that revisionist bullshit (MLK was a Republican but Bull Connor was a Democrat / the KKK was established by Democrats, etc) usually makes me fucking see red. But seeing a black guy helping privileged white jackasses try to sell that bullshit makes my stomach churn. God, I wish Douglass's ghost would torment that sorry bastard. And now, I suddenly have the urge to watch a good, satisfying revenge-justice fantasy. When's Django going to be released to DVD?

Wonkette : Wells Fargo Bills Elderly Disabled Veteran To Death Over Typo

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 17:37:12 +0000

How the hell can that judge have planned to rule in Wells Fargo's favor after all this?? Why wouldn't something like this be worthy of a lawsuit to be heard by a jury? I don't get it.

Wonkette : Bitter Defeated Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh Explains At Americans That They Are Stupid Losers

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:08:31 +0000

But there's no need to watch two whole hours of an asshole like Walsh -- eating a few prunes works just fine.

Wonkette : Everyone Is Making Money Off Malaysia Except Us And We Are Sad And Mad

Mon, 4 Mar 2013 23:27:55 +0000

Here's my attempt at portmantological neology referring to genitalia: schlongnballset. That's all I could come up with. I couldn't think of a good unisex one. Hey, it ain't easy -- you try it, damn you.

Wonkette : Bob Woodward: I Am Terrible In Bed

Mon, 4 Mar 2013 18:49:03 +0000

"You have no idea how many women I disappointed." 2? I'll bet it's 2. Or 3 maybe. 1974 was a long time ago.

Wonkette : NYT: Second-Term Obama Getting Kind Of Uppity

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:03:19 +0000

Well, let me explain what was in my mind when I made that snark: in the Deep South, this attitude is an actual thing among the wealthy, "sophisticated" bigots. As with horses and dogs, they consider "good" negroes and "illegals" to be good investments -- you don't want to "mistreat" them, but for heaven's sake, don't treat them as equals or you'll "ruin" them. These people consider themselves to be the "genteel Southerners", and they pride themselves for being more dignified than the vulgar bubbas we associate with TeaParty protesters. I've been surrounded by assholes like this all my life. And over the last few years, some "liberals" have spoken and behaved in a way that has reminded me of the genteel type of Southern bigot. Anyway, the first few paragraphs of Ms. Calmes's "liberal" NYT column struck me that way too. It gets my hackles up. :(

Wonkette : NYT: Second-Term Obama Getting Kind Of Uppity

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:44:12 +0000

Ew. I need to go wash my socks. :(

Wonkette : NYT: Second-Term Obama Getting Kind Of Uppity

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:38:32 +0000

See? The white folks in the Republican Party tried to warn the nation: you ruin darkies when you treat them like they're respectable. They get uppity and won't listen to anything you say anymore.

Wonkette : 'It’s The Deficit, Stupid,' Says Fantastically Stupid Man Advising Obama On State Of The Union

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:49:53 +0000

Got no reason. What the heck?!

Wonkette : 'It’s The Deficit, Stupid,' Says Fantastically Stupid Man Advising Obama On State Of The Union

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:34:09 +0000

Hunh! I totally missed "Mouthpiece Theater". And I didn't realize they were smart enough to be pompous. Or do comedy. Hunh!

Wonkette : 'It’s The Deficit, Stupid,' Says Fantastically Stupid Man Advising Obama On State Of The Union

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:25:14 +0000

Isn't that Milbank on Cilliza's left in the photo? Those guys are, like, sharing the same brain, right?

Wonkette : This Man Would Like To Be Texas's Lieutenant Gov, Because Guns Guns Guns Guns Guns

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:17:28 +0000

Your Imperial Majesty! ::curtsies::