ladybirdjenkins

ladybirdjenkins

79p

175 comments posted · 7 followers · following 5

205 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - New Year's Eve Open Th... · 1 reply · +6 points

Thanks, Cosmie! My doctor reminded me that it'll take time to get to a good place mentally and to not beat myself up too much when I feel my anxiety overwhelming me.

Mr. LBJ struggled with being supportive but he's come around. He didn't understand that being unemployed isn't just about not working. It's accepting that things are beyond your control and being able to handle rejection for weeks or months at a time. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

205 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - New Year's Eve Open Th... · 3 replies · +17 points

So I ended up in an anxiety induced spiral about my job hunt. I found myself in my doctor's office in tears because I felt like I was trapped inside my own mind. Luckily my doctor is super compassionate and we had a really good talk. She recommended an antidepressant and taking a break to focus on getting healthy.

I'm still on the hunt for a full time job but I have picked up some contract work in the interim. Dealing with the unemployment office has been one giant pain in the ass but I'm grateful for the money, meager as it is. I'm feeling somewhat better but I still struggle to keep the anxiety at bay. When those moments hit, I break out my journal and write down everything running through my mind.

And the year hasn't been all bad. In about 3 1/2 months, I'll be jumping the broom with Mr. LBJ. *preens*

205 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - New Year's Eve Open Th... · 4 replies · +16 points

Happy New Years Eve, everyone! Update in the reply. :)

221 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Long Holiday Weekend O... · 1 reply · +5 points

I started washing dishes as soon as I could reach the sink comfortably. I was also responsible for:

-cleaning my room and bathroom each day
-getting myself up and ready for school
-washing my own clothes once I turned 12
-helping out with the weekly cleaning on Saturday mornings
-making trips to the corner grocery store to pick up a random item

No yard work, as I mostly grew up in apartments. Mr. LBJ is an only child and was required to help his dad with certain chores but for the most part his mom did all the cooking and cleaning. This would explain why our standards of cleanliness are vastly different.

I think race/ethnicity also plays a part in this. I don't know of any Black friends in my social circle, regardless of socioeconomic status, that didn't have chores of some kind. I got to college and was blown away by middle and upper class White kids that had never done their own laundry or cooked a meal. One girl in my suite had never cleaned a bathroom! That led to some very petty fights.

223 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Midweek Open Thread · 1 reply · +4 points

Good morning saints and aint's. Last night I read the various stories about the shootings in Virginia and all I wanted to do was cry. So much promise and hope gone in the blink of an eye.

I keep reading that he was able to pass a background check, therefore background checks are useless. Obviously that's bullshit but I do wonder: What do you do when someone has a documented history of irrational/unstable behavior but hasn't necessarily committed a crime? Technically they can have a gun but probably shouldn't. How do you balance the right to individual privacy with the need to keep the general public safe? What would the benchmark for irrational behavior and who would decide that?

So many questions that I don't have the answer to. I'm gonna go hug my pup now.

223 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Midweek Open Thread · 0 replies · +4 points

While I know this is true, it still breaks my heart to read it.

223 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Weekend Party Thread · 0 replies · +7 points

Overly optimistic people grate on me. People who say "Well, look at the bright side" grate on me. In my experience, these are people who haven't had a single hard day in their life. Things have always worked out the way they planned and they don't understand why you're so "negative."

I know that while I'm looking for a job, I'm lucky that I'm not worried about a place to live or where my next meal is coming from. I know I'm doing better than most people. But looking at the bright side doesn't help me when I'm incredibly anxious about when is my career going to finally start. Or wondering if I'm doomed to work a string of mediocre jobs for the rest of my life. That living paycheck to paycheck sucks big time and I'm really over it. Sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge your struggle, not minimize it.

That fact that you recognize that your mental health can cloud the way look at things tells me that you're not a "negative" person. Rather I think it shows you are in tune with your emotions and where they come from, rather than "negative" being your default setting. I hope your day gets better, CB.

224 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Thursday Open Thread · 0 replies · +2 points

I remember when MJB's version came out and even then I knew it could never hold a candle to the original.

224 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Thursday Open Thread · 3 replies · +7 points

So I finally watched the video for that Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor song "Marvin Gaye."

Bruh.

The lyrics, to me, are actually not that bad. What I hate is the complete lack of soul and the really not so subtle way they are attempting to channel Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.

Listening to Marvin and Tammi sing, you could feel the chemistry between them and her voice was so angelic. Charlie Puth and Mehgan Trainor just make me sad. Plus the video sucks.

224 weeks ago @ Crasstalk - Midweek Open Thread · 0 replies · +2 points

😍