fartknocker

fartknocker

113p

2,083 comments posted · 27 followers · following 12

166 weeks ago @ Wonkette - All About the D*cks: Y... · 0 replies · +4 points

Jeb Bush/Katie Perry for President 2016 would make me happy while creating great drama in the Rick Perry campaign.

166 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Alabama Republican Say... · 1 reply · +11 points

I will be sooo happy when this happens in Texas. Governor Greg Strangelove will declare a State of Emergency and require a mandatory Prayer-A-Pooloza at every High School arena and ask the electrical engineers at Texas A&M to design and construct a Gaydar app for all of our Obama phones.

167 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Jeb Bush's New Tech Ge... · 4 replies · +44 points

Ethan reminds me of the shit stain that showed up one Friday night to take young Rebecca Fartknocker out on a date. About 2 hours later young Rebecca called Mrs. Fartknocker telling her that shit stain called my daughter the C-word. So now I had two upset women in Casa Fartknocker, meaning no samwiches for me until this issue was resolved. So, I went to young shit stain's house, woke up Mr. shit stain, explained my dilemma and was invited in to wake the pin dick up at 1:30 AM and explain to him the rules of engagement with the Fartknockers. He was also informed that if he every wanted to pro-create that he should maintain a 100 foot No Fartknocker exclusion zone unless he wanted to deal with the medical issue of his nut sack shoved into his sinus. Ethan is no more than a colostomy bag with a mouth.

167 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Ted Nugent: Sarah Pali... · 0 replies · +76 points

I believe this is the same guy who said he would be dead or in jail if the Black Kenyan Usurper was elected as POTUS. He's like Sarah because he also doesn't follow through on his promises.

167 weeks ago @ Wonkette - The Sarah Palin Fartkn... · 1 reply · +7 points

What a bad experiment I promoted. Hypothesis = Sara is confirmed batshit. Exitorix please advise if I need to beef up the staff liquor stipend. And I hope ba-be is awesome and healthy.

167 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Americans Cool With Ga... · 0 replies · +13 points

I support this so long I have the right to force you to take your gun home because you like walking around town sporting your AR-15 in my grocery store all while screaming about your 2nd amendment rights. Now if it's is lesbian gun owners who are making out while sporting AR-15s, they are clearly exempt because they are publicly displaying their affection.

167 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Vermont Proposes Offic... · 0 replies · +11 points

I suspect many of those folks on My Face Space are also ardent supporters of TundraTwat.

168 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Bristol Palin Begs Leg... · 0 replies · +16 points

When I was growing up my mom made sure I received all my vaccines. You should check with your doctor and check for a Palin Talking Stupid Disorder (PTSD) vaccine. In Austin, we found duct tape works well.

168 weeks ago @ Wonkette - America Embarks On Dum... · 0 replies · +16 points

For at least one focused group of Americans we can change the vaccine delivery system. For ammosexuals, we at the Abortionplex are working on a new play area called "Vax&Cap" where, under the supervision of a licensed doctor (not an ophthalmologist) that takes care of lady parts, we will construct a 1,500 square foot indoor shooting range where you use tranquilizer guns to deliver vaccines (Vax) in your child's ass (Cap). Remember kids, you can run but you can't hide from a responsible gun owner, regardless if its bullets or vaccines.

168 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Georgia Senate Demands... · 0 replies · +5 points

Will they learn about Asymptote, because that sounds like one of them bars where gays go for butt sechs.