4,350 comments posted · 40 followers · following 11
There's still multiple other things but I am trying very hard not to get consumed by all of them at once. Trying to take more breaks and have more relax time. I really need to take care of my mental state more, so keeping that in mind has helped me to not feel guilty about playing games or watching things when I could be doing more productive stuff. If I have a mental overload I won't be able to do any productive stuff, so I have to take more breaks.
The Halo Reach issue is a particularly large thing that's been on my mind more and more lately, and since it's now time to put my plan into action, I'm getting more agitated every day I don't address that. But.. it's not a small task.
It requires me to spend hours writing a lot of info down, and then overcoming a huge amount of awkwardness in order to get myself to message a lot of people asking them if they're interested. I am definitely not a person suited to building and maintaining a community.. yet that's what I feel like I have to do. Although if it's small, at least initially.. like just 20 people.. that might be something I can do. Anyway.. I could explain in full detail but it'd take a while so I'll stop here.
I'm trying to be positive, and to be less shy, and to really get better at art, while not getting mentally exhausted.
I already had a bit of a burnout a couple weeks ago due to that Halo thing.. since I was thinking about it and working on it every day for a few weeks.. it was too much and I need to be careful not to do that again.
It's good to hear you're doing sort of ok. Better than not ok at all. Still, take care, I'm not sure what your exact troubles are but know that you can always come here to talk or just vent frustrations.
I did kinda already share most of what I've been up to, but I have also played games.
Because I've been trying to let myself do what I want to do without feeling guilty about not being productive, I finally managed to start replaying games that I've wanted to replay for years. I just never felt like the time was right.. but it could be many more years until it does and so I just did it regardless.
Ori and the Blind Forest is still great. And now I'm ready for playing the second one that I got on sale a couple months ago.
Also finally bought GRIP, the spiritual successor to the Rollcage series on PS1. Pretty fun so far. A little janky and not quite as feature-packed as Rollcage 2, but it's still good.
And for the past week I've been playing more One Step From Eden than I expected I would.
Tried out the demo and at first I didn't like it. I can't remember the last time I felt so immediately turned off from playing more of a game. But something in me told me to give it another try and after a few days I wanted more.. so I have the full game now and I've been playing it and.. I think I'm enjoying it. I think. It's a good game, definitely. And I keep wanting to play more. But I can't quite say for sure whether I'm "enjoying" it. Odd. Maybe I need to get more used to it, or maybe the deckbuilding part of it is still not something I'm able to bond with as a type of gameplay style.
Normally I wouldn't go near deckbuilding games but unlike most, this one isn't turn-based, and that's all it took to get me to try it. I don't hate turn-based entirely.. just mostly. It depends on the game. I like Worms for example.
One Step From Eden is almost the opposite of turn-based, the gameplay is actually pretty fast.
If the game isn't your thing, I would still recommend listening to the OST. I haven't heard all the music yet, but some of the tracks are really good.
What about you, what have you been up to?
Yeah.. it's been a while. Nice to see this place isn't entirely without people visiting though.
Forgetting and getting distracted are definitely some struggles I have a lot of.
What helps me remember this place is having it as a bookmark and placed at the top of the browser.
Unfortunately actually talking is a struggle too. Especially throughout 2021.
I want to make sure that I do not let this happen again next year. I'll be trying hard to force myself to talk more. Because this struggle to communicate has been the worst.
I haven't talked to the others in a while, except for Lunar (and not as often as I'd have liked). He seems to be doing alright.
I'm doing... better than I felt when I wrote that previous post. Still it's tough going. Are you doing well?
Talking to others is really important.. even if it's just a little bit, regularly.
I have an idea of how to do things in a way that reduces stress.. but what's harder than starting to do that, is maintaining it.
Weeks ago I managed to get myself to do things differently, and it did feel better.. but it didn't last long.
It took me maybe having some kind of stress overload that scared me into it, then when I began to feel better I struggled to keep it up.
What's worse is that I know what I should do.. but I can't get myself to do it. There's no downsides, no good reason why I shouldn't.
Same goes for art. But I guess shyness is also a factor there, to ask others questions, most of which I feel are silly to ask or annoying to keep asking over and over due to me not realising/understanding things sooner.
You're being helpful, definitely. I'm just glad that I can talk to people who care... but.. I really need to do that more often.
Over the last few months I've been getting more upset at my lack of artistic progress, and along with some other things I'd rather not get into, I think it's been making it hard to focus on doing other things like pushing myself to talk more.
I'd like to.. I would. I also would like to share more art too.. but at the moment most of it doesn't feel worth sharing, not to mention that it's all just practice sketches, as I can't seem to progress past the sketch or clean line-art phase for any actual finished artwork that I want to make.
Well.. I did manage to do this recently, which feels better than most of the practice sketches I've done in weeks, maybe months.
So here, a practice Applejack. Click it for a bigger view, the reference used, and.. basically a bit of a ramble. Felt good to just get it out.
I can't seem to get myself back into talking to people more regularly.
Also I'm feeling more stuck than I have done before with getting better at art.
So that isn't helping my mental state.
Art is worth it though.. I do feel better having that interest and wanting to pursue it.
But when I have no idea how to move forward and make progress.. it isn't nice, especially when it lasts for months.
I'm.. I'm trying not to worry or stress about things.
I don't really know how well that is going though.
So.. not great. I'm doing not great.
Thanks for asking though, and checking in here.
I do still visit fairly often, but as I said I'm having trouble talking to people.
With this post I thought I'd take it as an opportunity to force myself to talk again, try and get back into it.
How are you?
I'm uh... I'm still around.
Since the start of the year my struggles with keeping up communication and just getting stuff done in general seems to have got worse.
I feel like I should be able to deal with this problem easier now than in the past.. but the opposite is happening.
I don't really know what to do to fix this issue I'm having. I'm just hoping it doesn't continue for long.
I hope it's a good one for us all.
At least better than the last.
I'm sure it's going to have it's own issues though, so stay strong.
We'll make it through. <3