214 comments posted · 98 followers · following 4
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Derp Roundup: Fans Of ... · 2 replies · +9 points
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Hollywood Surrenders T... · 0 replies · +2 points
Sony Pictures Entertainment today announced the acquisition of Academi Corporation (formerly known a Blackwater). Co-Chair Amy Pascal said, "Since President Obama has delegated American foreign relations to SPE, our corporate strategy needs a little more muscle behind it. For example, we're currently in discussions with Adam Sandler on a hilarious madcap romantic comedy set in the ISIS-occupied autonomous Kurd region of Iraq. Never again will we make the mistake of counting on President Obama to protect our artistic integrity and freedom of expression."
Also today, President Obama said Sony made a mistake by canceling the scheduled wide release of "The Interview" on Christmas Day. The President also greenlighted the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt vanity project "Cleopatra," noting that while the original classic, which featured Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, bankrupted MGM, "we must look forward, not backward." The President approved, however, Sony pulling out of a Steve Jobs biopic production. "Without Leo DiCaprio in the title role, there's no way this title will open strong enough to return an acceptable margin."
Ms. Pascal said, "While foreign policy is as new to me as managing film releases is to the President, it is clear that if North Korea threatened to assassinate me, or Michael Lynton, or Seth Rogen, our response would be, 'bring it on!' We will not hesitate to place our own safety in jeopardy for the sake of our freedom of expression. But North Korea did not threaten us personally -- they threatened to harm the public, our customers. I am not going to score cheap chickenhawk bravado points by endangering innocent Americans. Tell you what, Mr. President -- you stop the bad guys who have been running roughshod on my company for a month, and who are now threatening innocent citizens. You stop the crooks, and I'll release the movie!"
Ms. Pascal eye-rolled in response to inquiries about the President's new use of the bully pulpit to determine what movies should and should not be released by Hollywood studios. "If he thinks overseas box office and home entertainment will be enough to put a tired remake of 'Cleopatra' over the top, he's too big a dreamer for Hollywood."
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Postracial GOP Elects ... · 0 replies · +2 points
I'm pretty sure it was the other Tammy Wynette
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Wonkette Week In Revie... · 0 replies · +1 points
The red hair may be what gives it away.
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Sundays With The Chris... · 0 replies · +4 points
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Scott Walker Gets Some... · 0 replies · +1 points
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Scott Walker Gets Some... · 0 replies · +3 points
8 years ago @ Wonkette - Jen Rubin Wants You To... · 0 replies · +2 points
I thought the whole point of equal marriage was to give gay couples the right to make each other just as miserable as hetero couples do.
10 years ago @ Wonkette - Special Semi-Nice New ... · 0 replies · +8 points
When they make me pope, I'm going to be called Pope George Ringo.
10 years ago @ Wonkette - Special Semi-Nice New ... · 0 replies · +7 points
BTW, you'll need a new avatar to go with your new name.