425 comments posted · 21 followers · following 4

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Illinois Gov. Rauner H... · 0 replies · +2 points

rauner just named his new chief financial officer this week. she seems nice.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - 2015 GOP State Of The ... · 0 replies · +14 points

randy paul: entertaining in his awfulness. joni ernst: kind of almost entertaining, but mostly inept and boorrrrrrrring.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Larry Klayman Pretty S... · 0 replies · +1 points

"But since it has been like 10 minutes since Larry had another theory"

larry must be getting his fiber if his "theories" are that frequent.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Mike Huckabee Practice... · 0 replies · +28 points

when he was the morbidly obese governor of arkansas(with a government health insurance plan), i can only assume that he was prescribed various medications to control his type 2 beetus. i also assume that he was on lipitor or some other similar medication meant to control cholesterol levels and others for hypertension. it's such a shame that the taxpaying citizens of arkansas were forced to subsidize his unhealthy sugar slut lifestyle.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Peggy Noonan Outraged ... · 0 replies · +10 points

All eyes turn to him. “Wait—wait. No—uh—I don’t think that’s the code we use to launch against incoming from North Korea, I think that one takes out Paris!”

sounds like peggy's writing a screenplay for an adaptation of a tom clancy novel where jack ryan is played by rowan atkinson.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Let's All Watch Some D... · 0 replies · +5 points

gee it would have been nice if congressman shimkus would have been this adamant about investigating mark foley back in 2005.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - House GOP No Longer Th... · 0 replies · +61 points

madam speaker, i'mma let you finish, but ted cruz...

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Our Long National Nigh... · 0 replies · +11 points

derrrrrp nancy please get enough democrat votes to pass this thing please derrrrrp another glenlivet please derrrp... they're so mean to me, all of them. and cantor's texting cruz all day... i'm so alone out here.

john, i've got the votes, please, just stand up. and for fuck's sake, you've soiled yourself again. have some dignity. ugh.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Our Long National Nigh... · 1 reply · +26 points

remember that time i failed to repeal obamacare and almost tanked the global economy?

cruz 2016!

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Fox News Says There's ... · 2 replies · +17 points

do you wish your government had that lean, austere look? are you struggling burn off those last few pounds of infrastructure, food safety inspections, research on disease, and national park services? well, just wait until you try the tea party's all new government slimdown! those problem areas caused by unemployment insurance and the snap program will disappear overnight once the government slimdown program transforms your government into a skinny heroin chic supermodel! the corporate overlords and wall street fat cats won't be able to believe their eyes when they see the irresistible unregulated new you.