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That's what pre-reading and editing is for :D
Like I said, though, the idea is really solid. I like it.
the main thing might be to make it more clear that the story is happening in the future. It would require subtle changes that I wouldn't really be able to help with. it's one of those things that I would know if I read it, but I can't really provide an example. :D
some questions/thoughts that pop up in my head as I read:
Where are celestia and luna?
Why is there a presidential election?
Who's Bit Baron?
Twilight wouldn't freak out like that. At least, not that soon.
I realize some of the questions will probably be answered later in the story. Just sharing my first impressions. :D
Too bad I cant
Though I'm still not suprised.
Tila Tequila was never gonna win any academic awards
Might I suggest Tanks for the Memories or Testing Testing 123 and some hot chocolate