67 comments posted · 2 followers · following 15

9 years ago @ The Toast - "There Are No Race Rel... · 1 reply · +1 points

Yes, please tell us!

9 years ago @ The Toast - An Interview with Kati... · 0 replies · +11 points

Nine is my Doctor.

I was raised Hare Krishna, which, in addition to being restrictive to women, was obsessed with end times. No Rapture event, just increasingly terrible destruction of our planet via man-made and natural disasters, so you better be prepared to die horribly and hope you lived faithfully enough to qualify for the heavenly planets!

In the late '70's-80's that lead many to move to farmable land in the mountains and stock up on canned goods. Hopeless acceptance of the imminent destruction of the entire world is such a powerful tool for selling investment in an afterlife. Any news of increased tensions around the Cold War or evidence of climate change were taken as further confirmation.

I watched my parents slowly decide the end wasn't really happening soon, and we came down from our mountain compound. Integrating into typical Western urban society was difficult for me. Sometimes I still feel like I'm just "passing" as a normal person.

When the Harold Camping predictions made national news, I felt so bad for those kids. Even when everyone else forgets about it, they'll still feel awkward shame watching an apocalyptic movie. I know I do.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Words That Should Actu... · 0 replies · +71 points

Feminazi, since using it violates Godwin's law and demonstrates a willful ignorance of feminism, which disqualifies you from the conversation on the internet or with reasonable people.

9 years ago @ The Toast - The Butter: FAQs · 0 replies · +4 points

Thank you, thank you, for creating this space (condiment?) and for the community of commenters who make being here so delightful.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Terrifying Screenshots... · 0 replies · +80 points

YES! "childbirth, while a natural process, can also be a supremely difficult one. Women die. Babies die. They don't have to. I'd rather deal with an asshole doctor than die."
Can we cut and paste this into every thread on that forum? The attitude that natural is better than an uncomfortable/ scary medical intervention is so pervasive at both extremes of the hippie/ fundamentalist spectrum.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 1 reply · +3 points

Copying your list, as it perfectly encapsulates Things I Would Like To Stop Beating Myself Up About. Except instead of HP, rereading all the Outlanders.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +6 points

Negging is so gross, and I'm sorry you're getting it. The mall *is* the worst. For the mall/ downtown SF buskers, I've developed a combo of resting bitch-face and a vaguely non-focused gaze so they can't ever make eye contact. My growing deafness probably helps avoid the initial request for attention as well.

Try always wearing headphones, even if not really on? It is a much bigger barrier for them to overcome and they may reconsider shouting at you?

9 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +6 points

Ugh, logical brain is no match for the Impostor sometimes. My therapist helped me come up with a talisman for when Impostor Syndrome starts veering into a panic attack. 1. I chose a time when I felt very expert/ accomplished (organized a kick-ass study group that was so awesome everyone in our doctoral program wanted to join) 2. Picture a moment of that expertise very concretely (playing frisbee between study sessions indicated we were on track, had time to take breaks) 3. Choose a symbolic image or feeling to pull up as shorthand for that moment/ feeling (I feel the sun on my face and the rough texture of the frisbee in my fingers)

When the Impostor starts getting chatty, I rub my fingers against my palm and instantly feel that rough frisbee edge, and then the sun on my face, and most of the time Impostor shuts the fuck up. May you find a talisman to quickly remind you how awesome and capable you are!

9 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +3 points

I *finally* sent my last two cards out yesterday. Weirdly creative block/ perfectionist/ procrastinating around it all, because Toasties are the kindest folks I've ever known online, so that bears some reflection & self-kindness.

Thank You, polka_stripes for organizing it all for us.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 1 reply · +1 points

The only thing besides meds that helped me w anxiety was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy type questions (I haven't done the whole 12 week course, so these are very generalized). Of particular benefit to me was, "Is this terrible thing true? What would this moment be like if it is not true? If it is true, is there something I already know how to do that will help?" Best of journeys to Tokyo!