MalloryOrtberg

MalloryOrtberg

121p

1,537 comments posted · 23 followers · following 0

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Feel the Burn: Mailbag... · 1 reply · +14 points

I would take some ibuprofen and do some slow, deep stretches? I really like this hippy-ass video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDQNqZMv1V0. I feel like I would not work out again since...something something MUSCLE RECOVERY, right? Like, your muscles are sore because technically the cells are dying and being rebuilt, yeah? So give them a day off and fill them with electrolytes and so forth.

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Feel the Burn: Mailbag... · 5 replies · +57 points

OH WAIT NO IT WASN'T THROWING UP SUUUUUUUCKS

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Feel the Burn: Mailbag... · 6 replies · +46 points

HER TRAINER MADE ME THROW UP

IT WAS AWESOME

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 3 replies · +26 points

THE POLISH PLAIT, a "hairstyle OR A MEDICAL CONDITION"

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +25 points

It was a scoop! Myles is on the breaking-news/NYC media beat and beat everyone else to the announcement, which is cool for him because he's a smart dude. Anytime someone gets an EIC position at a big media company like Jezebel, it's news; BuzzFeed happened to beat everyone else to the punch this time. When Nicole left to start The Toast with me, the Observer did a brief writeup of us -- I can't remember if it came before or after her official goodbye, but I think it was after. There will probably be an official announcement on the Awl network reasonably soon.

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - "The perfect place to ... · 2 replies · +26 points

WHIPPING CREAM WITH A FORK

THAT IS MADNESS that would take a MILLION HOURS

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - "The perfect place to ... · 6 replies · +10 points

wait i've heard of creaming butter and sugar together but never CRUMBING, what is the difference

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - "The perfect place to ... · 0 replies · +6 points

that can't possibly be it can it??

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - "The perfect place to ... · 0 replies · +11 points

omg thank you so much

225 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +18 points

FUCK YOU YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO IM GOING TO START COUNTING THEM ALL THE TIME