Gentleman Horndog

Gentleman Horndog


1,117 comments posted · 439 followers · following 2

7 years ago @ - BIG NEWS! · 1 reply · +3 points

Serious question: was Sony using trailers to troll the Internet?

The trailers looked pretty dire, to the point where Bob was unequivocally expecting this to be awful. And yet, all of the trailer elements that made the movie look so wretched (Nickelodeon-level special effects, overreliance on cheap lowbrow gags, terrible terrible characters) appear to be total non-factors in the final product.

Is it possible that Sony decided to lean into the controversy coming from the petulant misogynist manbabies by deliberately baiting people who loved the original in particular and good movies in general? Get the Internet to debate itself on WHY it was expecting their movie to be a worthless shitheap, and thus keep everybody talking about it?

8 years ago @ - REVIEW: \"Deadpool\" · 0 replies · +1 points

I think you're right; TBP is an excellent comp, and Bob proved pretty conclusively that he doesn't need video clips to make a visually compelling presentation. And yeah, if he does just drop the visual element entirely, a more sedate presentation would likely serve him better.

8 years ago @ - REVIEW: \"Deadpool\" · 1 reply · +5 points

Two videos into the 80%-still-image-era:

Do not like.

Love the content. When Bob's on his game, as he most definitely is here, he's an insightful and engaging critical voice whose opinion I'm always glad to hear, even if I don't always agree with it. I'll be seeking out MovieBob reviews regardless of the medium.

But I'm really surprised at how much I miss the chopped-up trailers underlying the narration, even if Bob wound up having to recycle the same sequences multiple times. I get that it's frustrating and infuriating to have to deal with YouTube's self-destructively ass-tastic approach to protecting copyright, so going back to TrailerVision may not be the solution. But Bob, if you're going to be working in a visual medium, simply punting on the visuals isn't a terribly good solution.

If you want to release videos, get some more visual stuff in there, even if it's just stills; I'll take a slideshow over a painting. If that's too much of a headache, do the reviews as text- or audio-only. This approach of doing a static image lightly peppered with other images just feels half-assed. You're better than this, Bob.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I... · 1 reply · +20 points

Pretty much this. Honestly, LW2, if she hates you, that says a hell of a lot more about her (and about how unhealthy her job is for her) than it does about you.

Short version, you just helped her pay her rent. If you go back to that club for a repeat performance, she may well be all "Oh, hey, it's that guy who helps me pay my rent! I'm genuinely glad to see you! Come here, and help me turn these nice gyrations and fun dickfeels into food for me and my family!"

Work's work, mate. And who doesn't genuinely appreciate a good customer?

8 years ago @ - In Bob We Trust: WHO\'... · 0 replies · +1 points

Man, what's with the hatred for Whiplash? I loved that guy. He was a great mirror-Tony, every inch as smart but with all Stark's social grace replaced by pure physical menace. And with a legit beef, too. I still adore how his fluency with English varied proportionally with how much he respected who he was talking to.

"Drone is better."

Wasn't his fault he was severely underutilized in the worst of the MCU movies to date. And I honestly think those two things are related.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I... · 0 replies · -20 points

BiSian nails it. This is a perfect example of a place where you can ease your way into it, see what you like, and give yourself ample room to say either "slow down" or "stop" if you're not digging it.

And she's NOT KIDDING about the lube. Lube is MANDATORY if anybody's going to wind up with anything in their butt.

A lot of sex stores will sell a kind of numbing lube that reduces pain during anal play. If she has any, TAKE IT OUTSIDE AND SET IT ON FIRE. Pain is your friend. Pain lets you know that you need more lube, or need to slow down, or need to stop entirely. Standard issue water-based lube works just fine -- or, hell, as long as condom breakage isn't an issue, simple vegetable oil from your kitchen.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I... · 0 replies · +5 points

Also, dude? I am relating to you very heavily right now.

About six years ago, I started dating a woman who identified very strongly as a submissive; all my sexual experience prior to that point was pretty vanilla. It was definitely one of the most important, and fulfilling, sexual relationships I've ever had. Our plain ol' vanilla sex was completely hot and fun and awesome, but she was willing to teach me how to do some of the things that SERIOUSLY set her off, and ... wow.

There is definitely a possibility for guys to over-absorb some of the messages out there (some of them noble and valuable, others conspicuously less so) to the point where you wind up feeling a bit (or, possibly, more than a bit) guilty and ashamed of your own sexual desires. I certainly did, and I caught some hints of that in your letter. There is something deeply liberating about being with a woman who literally gets off on you taking control and fucking the absolute hell out of her.

That's the thing about kink-done-right -- it winds up being empowering for both parties. The sub gets to explore some potentially scary and dangerous stuff while secretly being in total control by being able to shut it all down with a word, the dom gets some full-contact make-believe where they're a total sex god(dess) and in total control of the universe. It can really be healthy and great fun for everybody.

The important thing to wrap your head around is that the difference between violence-within-BDSM and REAL violence is the difference between a roller-coaster ride and a car crash. If she's truly into it, she's having an absolute blast, and you're giving somebody you care about a wonderful sexual experience.

Now, remember there's a big difference between pushing your boundaries and closing your eyes, gritting your teeth, and pretending your boundaries don't actually exist. The former is how you grow; the latter will just get your hurt, possibly badly. Learn to recognize the difference between "That's scary because I've never tried it before" and "That's scary because HOLY SHIT does that squick me out." You're allowed to have boundaries, and you're allowed to insist they be respected. (For me personally, those boundaries include rape scenarios and knife play. I'm absolutely positively not judging people who ARE into that, but for me ... nope. Just nope.)

But, hey. Sometimes you can ease your way into things. What seems like a total no-go now might seem more palatable a while down the road after you've explored some other things with her. That's totally legit.

Like I said in my previous comment, this could still go wrong for any number of reasons, so I don't want to oversell what's happening to you as OMG THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. It's just that being able to explore kink from a baseline of being with somebody who really enjoys banging you even BEFORE you start introducing the rougher stuff ... it can be a really wonderful experience. Even if you don't take to it to the point where you start identifying as a dom or a kinkster yourself, it's a lovely set of skills to be able to pull out when you're with a partner who will enjoy it.

And, hey, if it turns out you're totally not into it on any level, that's a valuable thing to know about yourself. One of the greatest gifts you can give any lover is knowing what does and doesn't work for you. If the rough stuff turns out not to be part of who you are or who you can be, you have NOTHING to be ashamed about.

Good luck, mate. And HAVE FUN.

(And to something you said in a comment -- does wanting to have sex with her make you immature? NO. Fucking somebody you're into and who's downright eager to fuck you senseless is one of life's great pleasures. Savor it.)

(Oh, and congrats on getting your depression under control! Now THERE'S a transformative experience that's tough to oversell. Fifteen years and counting for me. You will likely find that you do a hell of a lot better with women [and with men, and with life in general] now that you're no longer sabotaging yourself in a dozen ways large and small. It's like fucking magic.)

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I... · 0 replies · +5 points

Dude. This is so exciting. There are, of course, a million ways this could go wrong or go nowhere at all, only some of which are within your ability to control. But that's just how sexual relationships are. Good luck; I think most if not all of the folks here have their fingers crossed for you guys.

A note on choking: Doc's right in that even amongst hard-core kinksters, breath-play is regarded as SUPER-risky simply because there's literally no way to guarantee you won't wind up killing your partner, even if you do everything exactly right. BUT. There IS something you can do to scratch that itch for her, if only a little.

What you do is you place your hand on her throat, like you're pretend-choking her. NOTE: PLACE NO ACTUAL PRESSURE ON HER THROAT. Imagine you're in a play (a sexy, sexy play) and you're trying to make it LOOK like you're choking her without actually doing it. Then, move your hand up -- NOT in, and DEFINITELY NOT grabbing, UP -- and press underneath her jaw. The only place you should be applying actual pressure (and even then, not much, and not for long!) is underneath her jaw; you're merely touching her throat. This can give her the FEELING of being choked without actually fucking-up her ability to breathe or potentially compromising her windpipe.

The ideal time to use this trick is either during a standing/sitting make-out session, or when she's on top of you. If you're on top, only use it if you're REALLY confident you won't accidentally put your weight onto that hand.

Use sparingly, because that's still soft tissue, and she does NOT want you bruising her there. But use it properly ... she'll like. ;-D

9 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My H... · 1 reply · +6 points

#punfail #shamedhorndog

Though, yes. That might indeed be a kind of swinging they'd both wind up enjoying very much.

9 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My H... · 4 replies · +10 points

Mate, you appear to have misunderstood just what "swinging" entails in a sexual context.