654 comments posted · 30 followers · following 4

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Sarah Palin Brings Her... · 0 replies · +22 points

Why is the father speaking to the son in Arabic

That's a great question. They speak Pashto and Dari in Afghanistan, not Arabic. It might have something to do with Afghans not being Arabs.

So if you buy utter bullshit as cold hard facts, the conspiracy actually goes even deeper.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Operation American Spr... · 3 replies · +73 points

Dear Wonket,

Whenever anyone who is in or retired from federal employment complains about the federal government, please for the love of FSM don't leave that information out. Harry Riley retired as a Colonel in 1992 after 34 years. That means he gets $90000 a year and he doesn't even have to get out of bed in the morning. And he's been earning roughly the equivalent of that (adjusted for inflation/cost-of-living) for 22 years. Which means that, in today's dollars, the federal government has paid him approximately 2 million dollars, not including benefits like medical care, heavily subsidized food, and spave available air travel, over two decades. And that's before you start counting things like Medicare and Social Security. And oh yes, he gets that too. All of it, every single penny, is paid for by the taxes he's spends his days bitching about.

So Harry Riley, like all other self-proclaimed small government originalists welfare queen shitbags, has only discovered how little the government's done for him after gobbling up more federal benefits than the vast, vast majority of hardworking Americans can even contemplate.

B. Donkadonkette

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Fox Continues Journali... · 0 replies · +9 points

Cuntery First!

10 years ago @ Wonkette - CPAC's Folk Singer Sho... · 0 replies · +12 points

Chip Murray took a crappy poem about individualism and self-reliance, which has been around for almost 70 years, and grunted it out to some basic guitar chords?

It reminds me of a poem I wrote, called Ironic:
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic
Don't you think?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Buh-Bye Rep. Michael G... · 2 replies · +23 points

The real question is, why is the liberal media infringing Michael Grimm's First Amendment rights?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Buh-Bye Rep. Michael G... · 2 replies · +32 points

Where in the First Amendment does it say "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or threaten to throw members of the press off the balcony and break them in half for exercising the rights Congress shall make no law abridging"? Can you show me where it says that in the First Amendment, libtards? No, you can't, because it doesn't.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Watch Hillary Laugh An... · 0 replies · +38 points

This is kind of like that time W. laughed at all the Americans he sent to Iraq to die because "weapons of mass destruction," haw haw.

Oh wait, that actually did happen because W. is a stupid shitbag. Well, water under the bridge and stop blaming the last guy, etc.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Here Is Your Yuletide ... · 0 replies · +11 points

I think the real question is, why are these wimmyns oppressing Gabryszak's Right to Freedom of the Speech, hmmmmmmmmm?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Get Excited! Larry Kla... · 1 reply · +12 points

Not to invite lawsuits, but isn't Larry Klayman a child molester? I mean, in a way, it makes sense that he'd be the standard-bearer for the perverse modern libertarian movement, but still, really?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Let's All Watch Some D... · 0 replies · +15 points

I'd like to thank John Shimkus for demonstrating the Republican worldview by insisting that South Korea is North Korea and premiums going down is premiums going up. I've never seen any of them admit their thought process so succinctly before.