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You're welcome for the earworm.
And I love Wonkette for just this sort of odyssey.
When I read this I saw this perv writing on Trix's boobs with a Sharpie. I'm sorry! I really couldn't help it, Trix!
Swanson hauled out his thesaurus to increase his word, page, syllable, or bullshit count. Yep, the work of a college freshman.