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7 years ago @ Wonkette - Tea Party Loon Dave Br... · 2 replies · +14 points

And nonetheless is incapable of agreeing his verb with their nouns.

Is he even slightly embarrassed that he's criticizing the education of others, while displaying his own incapacity for learning and inadequacy to fulfill the office to which he was elected in the same sentence?

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Federal Judge To Alaba... · 0 replies · +5 points

Ev'rybody loves th' justice.
Boo, boo, boo.

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Rick Santorum Hates Am... · 0 replies · +7 points

Prolly the execution one. I mean, like, he was decapitated with a sword while being burned alive and flogged ten thousand times, but he kept on readin' his Bile! Testify, bro!

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Creationists Name Neil... · 0 replies · +8 points

Part 0: The Big Bang. Were You There? Huh?

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Creationists Name Neil... · 0 replies · +4 points

Or be ambiguous: C**tmas.[1]

[1] we're using ant-style globbing, where one '*' means one letter, and two means as many as necessary. No, reeeelllly!

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Oklahoma Runs Out of V... · 1 reply · +8 points

So the mondegreen version would be "'Scuse me, while I shoot this guy"?

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Idiot Atheist Murders ... · 1 reply · +21 points


Content note: I used to live across the street from the entrance to Finley Forest, on Barbee Chapel Road. I'm feeling really weird, distressed and depressed.

Some content notes, though: the local online dishrag, the News and Observer (Noise and Disturber) says Finley Forest is near the UNC campus. Not really true, though it is in Chapel Hill, where just about everything is "near" UNC by the standards of reasonably large cities.

Doktor Zoom says the shooter "almost immediately" turned himself in, but ... it's a twenty minute drive from Barbee Chapel Road to Pittsboro (which is in Chatham County), where he turned himself in. Most of Chapel Hill is in Orange County, but this little bit of it is in Durham County (which is why Hicks is being held in the Durham County jail, even though the Chapel Hill Police are investigating).

Otherwise ... yeah. This is the story of a Responsible Gun Owner, bravely Standing His Parking Place. If it weren't so damned easy to get a gun in this state, then maybe he'd have started a fist fight or something, something that these folks could have run away from.

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 0 replies · +5 points

Blessed be her holy hooves!

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Creationists: Darwin W... · 0 replies · +6 points

How does he know Darwin was real?

Was he there?!?!

7 years ago @ Wonkette - Time To Lawyer Up, Tex... · 0 replies · +5 points

"Dammit! You're getting blood all over everything! You're gonna have to clean that up yourself, I'm not doing it! Come on, come on, get the damned tampon out of the way and pee on the test stick!"