24 comments posted · 150 followers · following 1

7 years ago @ The Toast - A note on The Toast · 1 reply · +183 points

Well, holy shit. This is equal parts shocking and not at all surprising. Hillary and I read the same internets and value the same content.

I am sofa king thrilled for all of you. How surreal it must be to know that you created content and a community that appeals to a presidential candidate, and not just any presidential candidate, but the single most qualified candidate in history.

This is one hell of a mic drop.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Hey Ladies: Take it to... · 0 replies · +14 points

This is so upsettingly good. Pitch perfect, wicked, and heartbreakingly good.

If there is a way to subscribe to the email threads, I would pay a princely sum. But you are probably all going to be on slack.

I will miss this site, this community, these contributors, and this private clubhouse more than I will ever miss something from the internet.

7 years ago @ The Toast - "I saw writing from pe... · 0 replies · +46 points

I was more of a reader/listener than a talker/commenter, but unlike other places I have lurked, here I still felt like one of the locals.

In the comments above, Flan says the Toast was her first hometown. That is a disarmingly lovely way to describe the Toast - a hometown on the internet. I have never had a hometown in real life, but from what I've read in Southern novels, there is usually a nasty faction lurking in hometowns, ready to shame and judge when the moment arrives. The Toast really didn't have that at all, and it is the only place on the internet I have ever known to be free of that kind of shit.

Put another way, the smart, clever, and genuine managed to intimidate and bully the trolls away. I don't think I have ever seen that done anywhere, and i don't think I am ever going to see it again.

This site was magic, and I cannot believe I was fortunate enough to be a part of it, even as a (mostly) lurker. Thank you to all of the writers and the toasties for your collective contributions to a community that I don't think I will ever witness again.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Seven Stages Of As... · 1 reply · +31 points

I was unaware we were to do anything with sugar snaps beyond (1) putting them in a salad, (2) eating them with hummus; or (3) eating them solo to balance the bad sugars in wine.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Eight Types of Roo... · 4 replies · +61 points

Well, shit. I am high protein breakfast person. I don't understand you muffin people. AT ALL.

I will forever be shaped by Passive Aggressive Sarah, who thought she wanted a gregarious and affable roommate, but only if said gregarious and affable roommate would return to the apartment by the arbitrary curfew set by Passive Aggressive Sarah. If the gregarious and affable roommate was late, or took a lover for the evening, Passive Aggressive Sarah would retaliate by basically turning off everything electric in the apartment and complaining (or leaving notes about) about gregarious and affable roommate's selfish and indulgent lifestyle.

Once, after a remarkable weekend with a lovely gentleman, I came home to a house full of Post-it notes about the expense of Christmas tree lights. I was allotted certain hours to enjoy them - I recall it was 7-9pm. I moved out the day after Christmas and have never even googled her name since.

7 years ago @ The Toast - "Worse Things": Sandy ... · 0 replies · +59 points

This is goddamn amazing, Mara. Stick to the ribs of your brain amazing.

I saw Grease over a dozen times in the theater and a hundred times more after that on video. I always loved Rizzo because she was so form fitting in her own skin. She was harsh, blunt, vulgar, cynical, and yet also palpably vulnerable. I don't remember a single girlfriend of mine liking Rizzo the way i did, but I never had any doubt that - of all the female characters in the cast - Rizzo would be the one you would call to help you move the body.

I only wanted and aimed to be like Rizzo, and largely succeeded.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Positions I Am Ready t... · 1 reply · +23 points

Pretty thrilled my job is still open.

Bartender who sleeps with whomever the hell she wants , however the hell she wants, but is particular and discriminating in a seemingly algorithmic way. She never lets them stay the night, she never sees them more than once, and she isn't looking for anyone with white knight tendencies.

Also, she has managed her money like an investment banker and will one day retire and collect rent from everyone else in town.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Things I Have Mistaken... · 13 replies · +62 points

That little bump of hair behind where your bangs go some women wore back in like 2002, but only in 2002

It is really upsetting to me that I don't know what this is describing.

8 years ago @ The Toast - On Race, Good Intentio... · 1 reply · +69 points

Man, I like to think of myself as some next level progressive and insightful and AWARES, but there is a paragraph up there that somehow dropped a grand piano of wisdom on me.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Tough Choices · 0 replies · +41 points

I think so, but it requires the unqualified apology*.

No explaining why you didn't act before, why you behaved before, what you know now that you didn't know then, no justification, nothing.

"I was dead fucking wrong when I said/did X, and I am so sorry for my behavior."

Expect nothing in response, as you shouldn't for any apology. To be clear, that is what the * is about up there. This is all true for any apology you give, and if you can't give it utterly and completely unqualified, you aren't apologizing. You may be initiating a meaningful discussion on the topic, but you aren't apologizing.

If you can't give an unqualified apology for the contexts you describe, don't initiate a discussion unless the one you offended initiates it. And if the one you offended does initiate a discussion, I still strongly recommend the unqualified apology.

I'm an apologist, it would appear.