39 comments posted · 2 followers · following 1

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Meet Your New Vice Pre... · 0 replies · +10 points

Paul Ryan: "And next January, our economy will begin a comeback with the Romney Plan for a Stronger Middle Class that will lead to more jobs and more take home pay for working Americans."

Sooooooooo. There's only two ways to increase take-home pay for working Americans. The first is to print more money. Since he would never do that because that would be socialist, he will obviously do the second, which is to DECREASE take home pay for the upper class working Americans. That sounds a bit like a redistribution of wealth, doesn't it? Paul Ryan: either a liar or a socialist.

Of course, he could just be talking about lowering taxes, which would require gutting Medicare and social security, which won't fly in Florida, which will equal an Obama victory, which totally vindicates Romneycare, which is all Mitt's really in this for, anyway.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Sad Pimp James O'Keefe... · 0 replies · +4 points

Oh, so news organizations promoting Obama's re-election is scandalous, according to O'Keefe. I should forward him some of the shit I get in my inbox from Newsmax. I'm sure James, in the interest of being an unbiased journalist, will immediately perform a sting operation over there next.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Gazillionaire Mitt Rom... · 7 replies · +59 points

Hi. Government employee here. I hate this whole "Government employees make too much" argument. When you have people in charge of multi-billion dollar budgets, do you want minimum wage, high-school dropouts managing them? When you have engineers developing and sustaining satellite and weapons systems, are you going to hire any schmuck off of the street? Many senior level members of management have one or even two graduate degrees and the most they will ever make is just upwards of 150k. Yes, that's a lot but, in the private sector with that experience and education, they could earn three times that amount (or more). Are there morons who are overpaid? Just like in any large corporation, yes. But many, if not all, government employees have taken an oath of poverty to serve their country because most could earn much more in the private sector, so fuck off, Mitt. Since you're rolling in the dough, why don't you offer to be President for $40k a year. Go ahead, asshole, put your money where your mouth is. Of course, if you are elected, it will be my pleasure to serve you.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Bachmann's Insane Vacc... · 1 reply · +15 points

During last night's debate, Rick Perry said, in response to Michele Bachmann's accusations of taking money from Merck in exchange for making the Gardasil vaccine mandatory, "If you're saying I can be bought for $5,000, I'm offended."

It sure would have been refreshing if he said, ""If you're saying I can be bought, I'm offended."

But he didn't.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Here Is Your Wonkette ... · 4 replies · +10 points

This six pack of Oktoberfest will come in handy today as I drink to cope with the endless tributes, replays, and analysis on every damn network today. I am of course talking about football. What else would I be referring to? I'll never forget where I was the day they announced Peyton Manning had another neck surgery. Where were you that day (I think it was Thursday)? Please, share your stories with me.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Murdoch Biz Columnist:... · 1 reply · +10 points

The super rich have two things going in their favor:

1. The media has successfully convinced "real Americans" (you know, the armed ones) that the true enemy of America is the middle class.

2. The super rich can afford to pay Blackwater and other PMCs to fight on their behalf. Libtards don't stand a chance.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Donald Trump Releases ... · 1 reply · +6 points

So Trump's spokesman confirms that a real, official birth certificate is required to get a passport or driver's license. Since Barry has traveled in and out of the country, I assume he has a passport. Since Barry drives a car, I assume he has a driver's license. Therefore, Mr. Trump has provided sufficient proof, through his spokesman, that Barry indeed has a brith certificate.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Get Ready: U.S. Expand... · 5 replies · +10 points

Alright, someone has to ask: who the fuck is calling the shots here? I'm not just talking just about Libya, I mean U.S. policy in general for the last 30+ years. There's no fucking way we keep electing Presidents who are so fucking inept at, well, everything. As much of a simpleton as Bush Jr. was, I just don't believe he was capable of making so many soul-crushingly bad decisions whose side effects all happen to be destroying the middle class.

Same with Obama. He's a smart guy. Yet almost everything he touches turns to shit. Not to mention he's broken nearly every campaign promise he's made. It's as if someone pulled him aside after his inauguration and said, "Listen, if you want your wife and daughters on the ark to Mars after we destroy Earth's natural resources, you'll forget all that 'change' shit and do exactly what we tell you to do. Otherwise you'll end up like JFK."

What names do both Bush and Obama's White House visitors list have in common? How about Reagan's or Clinton's? What's the endgame, here? I'd investigate things myself, but I'm going to go play Angry Birds on my iPod instead.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - G.E. So Good At Evadin... · 0 replies · +6 points

Would you hate any country that paid you 3 billion on top of the 15 billion you've already made? Me neither.

In fact, those pesky, uppity employees who I have to pay salaries and benefits to? Those fuckers are the real enemies. If I didn't have to pay them so much, I could profit even more!!

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Louisiana: Wikipedia P... · 0 replies · +61 points

I think you're all misinterpreting the meaning of the word "lobbyist." Apparently this guy just reads shit to kids and sends emails to blogs, while standing in a lobby.