The only thing I am wary of is how many people are capable of this change. And, although I hate to ask, how much of these feelings are genuine? I won't even act like I know anywhere near enough about people under this situations to disregard their confessions and life changes as just bull crap. I want to be able to believe that these are genuine feelings and I think the only way to come to that point is to meet these people. Just hearing stories about the glow in these prisoners' eyes already has me slightly more optimistic about this whole situation. All I know is that I am a bit pessimistic because the one prisoner I came across was full of it and was really good at making it look real. I just hope that I am lucky enough to meet one of these amazing people to help me overcome the feelings I have developed over time.
This is why a part of me is against the death penalty. I think that, while gratifying to the victims for many different reasons (revenge, security, ect.), the death penalty is no solution to the person who committed the crime. I feel like a lot of people who commit these crimes need perspective and what better way than life in prison. While they may never make it out to the world beyond bars, it is important that people are given a chance to come to terms with what they did and change, if at all possible. It's hard to think of giving a murderer a second chance, but I feel that it is important for this country mentally, to be able to recognize people as having the ability to change, no matter how extreme the situation is. I know I have a huge misconception of criminals and being hopeless and a lost cause, but reading these letters slowly opens my eyes up and I think it would do a lot of people good to see this kind of change in people.
I do believe in what this man says and I wish that my mind wasn't corrupted by this one person that unfortunately gave me such a misunderstanding about with regards to people who committed crimes. I want to believe that people can change and maybe it's not that I don't believe it but I just wish that this man who entered me and my mom's life could change as well. Because as much as I have grown to despise him for what he has done, I still loved him and cared for him because for a short time he was part of my family. Nothing hurts more than to see someone struggle and constantly fail. And nothing is more frustrating that to have someone expect people to help them when they don't make any effort to help themselves. It's refreshing to see people like Sam's friend who can change and who prove that men like the one I mentioned are just unfortunate exceptions to the trend of "lifers". I just hope one day people like Sam's friend can change my views and give me hope and understanding to people who have committed horrible crimes.
For a time I fell for it and let him into my life again, mainly because when he managed to convince us that he did change, he made my mom and even me happy. But lies only last so long and before I knew it, we would find him buying drugs from our taxi driver on our vacation in Cancun or stealing vicodin and oxycontin from my dying grandmother. I know that addiction to drugs is an illness but this manipulation and physical and psychological harm that came from his constantly resurfacing actions really turned me into a bitter person towards criminals. I know its not right to generalize but its hard when the only thing you've been exposed to was this man who lied his way into an innocent family's life and took everything from them. Wasted years of our lives supporting his addiction and waiting for the day he finally would make it out alive and decide to help himself. I know this might not have anything to do with this letter that Sam's friend wrote but it just reminded me of this experience. It's not something I could sum up in 450 words or even in a lifetime. It's just something I want to share, not for pitty or to prove Sam's friend wrong.
I was about 12 years old when my mom split up with my father and started seeing this man, who has corrupted my thinking of prisoners to a point where I even find this man's letter hard to believe. But before you get upset and defensive please hear me out. My mom's personality is one drawn to damaged people. She has spent her life helping people in need, which is why she makes such a good nurse, and I guess, although unaware at first of this man's true self, was drawn to him. Even to me at first he seemed like this nice genuine guy who just made some bad decisions. And at the time I honestly felt that, through his stories and later discovered lies, he made a turn in his life and learned from his mistakes. But as my mom and I got to know him better, his lies began to give way and his drug addiction was far from solved. He would cry to us and tell us how he was trying to change and how he just needed another chance from us. He didn't want to go back to jail or alienate those around him.
So this is very surprising to me. My misconception of convicts as the same ugly animals that have no compassion or understanding of human emotions, in my defense, was not just an idea that i ignorantly developed. I've had quite a serious and personal encounter with a convict that, although not a murderer, has done some terrible things and, unfortunately, is one of the monsters that this man who wrote the letter mentioned as a rare exception to those who have truly made a life change in their mindsets.
The world is driven by the need for power and control and the conscious people that see the world through Sam's eyes are far too few to prevent wars like this from happening in the future. I just wonder when we're going to end up pushing the wrong enemy too far. An enemy that ends up being stronger than us. And if that happens and we end up seeing them on our soil, I am terrified to even imagine what kind of insurgent groups that would rise out of the ashes of our charred and damaged lands. I only hope that we never have to end up making the decisions to do such radical things. It might seem selfish but as ready as I would be to defend my family and loved ones, I would only pray that day would never come. There is enough violence in our country as it is and I could only imagine the things that people would do if war came on our soil as it has in the Middle East.
But for those that rose out of defense for our invasion and abuse towards people of the Middle East, it sheds some light onto exactly how much we've pushed people into doing horrible things. I don't think we're entirely to blame and I don't rationalize the actions of insurgants by my own willingness to fight and kill those in revenge for those taken away from me by my enemy, but it sure does make alot of sense looking at it from their point of view. I mean we can't even walk in town without getting attacked, mugged, raped or harrassed and those attacks are usually done for no good reason. I could only imagine how crazy we would get if people came over here and started making our lives as miserable and as much of a mess as we've managed to do over there. Again, beheadings and torture is far from being justified, but looking at it now after this lecture, I think I would do some pretty crazy stuff to my enemies if they took my family away and destroyed my life. But what scares me is that this lecture, although it put things into perspective, only proved that there is no solution.
I have to admit I was very impressed by this lecture. When Sam promised this lecutre would rock our worlds I thought it was just him saying what he ends up usually promising with every class. That's not to say he doesn't make those promises but there are times I was less than impressed. But this lecture really got me thinking. Before hearing what Sam had to say I never really thought of the origins of many of these insurgant groups. I know there are some out there that would exist with or without our presence in the Middle East and therefore their existance seem less rational than those mentioned in lecture.
I feel like its a chain reaction. We go over there, force our presence upon people that don't welcome it, and then we end up breeding, over time, these terrorists (whether completely on our own or with the help of their already present radical ideals) which we feel the need to exterminate. I feel like there is this delusion out there that killing them off will put an end to it. But I feel like killing off terrorists and people "we" find a threat is like trying to kill a jellyfish. You stop on it or cut it into two and you've ended up making more enemies than you started out with. The more we try to win this war the more ticked off we're going to make these people and the more uprisings you'll see.
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Brainchild