en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/759555 Comments by Oncodoc https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69433699 The only thing I am wary of is how many people are capable of this change. And, although I hate to ask, how much of these feelings are genuine? I won't even act like I know anywhere near enough about people under this situations to disregard their confessions and life changes as just bull crap. I want to be able to believe that these are genuine feelings and I think the only way to come to that point is to meet these people. Just hearing stories about the glow in these prisoners' eyes already has me slightly more optimistic about this whole situation. All I know is that I am a bit pessimistic because the one prisoner I came across was full of it and was really good at making it look real. I just hope that I am lucky enough to meet one of these amazing people to help me overcome the feelings I have developed over time. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 21:03:28 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69433699 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69432415 This is why a part of me is against the death penalty. I think that, while gratifying to the victims for many different reasons (revenge, security, ect.), the death penalty is no solution to the person who committed the crime. I feel like a lot of people who commit these crimes need perspective and what better way than life in prison. While they may never make it out to the world beyond bars, it is important that people are given a chance to come to terms with what they did and change, if at all possible. It's hard to think of giving a murderer a second chance, but I feel that it is important for this country mentally, to be able to recognize people as having the ability to change, no matter how extreme the situation is. I know I have a huge misconception of criminals and being hopeless and a lost cause, but reading these letters slowly opens my eyes up and I think it would do a lot of people good to see this kind of change in people. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:59:32 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69432415 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430892 I do believe in what this man says and I wish that my mind wasn't corrupted by this one person that unfortunately gave me such a misunderstanding about with regards to people who committed crimes. I want to believe that people can change and maybe it's not that I don't believe it but I just wish that this man who entered me and my mom's life could change as well. Because as much as I have grown to despise him for what he has done, I still loved him and cared for him because for a short time he was part of my family. Nothing hurts more than to see someone struggle and constantly fail. And nothing is more frustrating that to have someone expect people to help them when they don't make any effort to help themselves. It's refreshing to see people like Sam's friend who can change and who prove that men like the one I mentioned are just unfortunate exceptions to the trend of "lifers". I just hope one day people like Sam's friend can change my views and give me hope and understanding to people who have committed horrible crimes. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:54:31 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430892 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430873 For a time I fell for it and let him into my life again, mainly because when he managed to convince us that he did change, he made my mom and even me happy. But lies only last so long and before I knew it, we would find him buying drugs from our taxi driver on our vacation in Cancun or stealing vicodin and oxycontin from my dying grandmother. I know that addiction to drugs is an illness but this manipulation and physical and psychological harm that came from his constantly resurfacing actions really turned me into a bitter person towards criminals. I know its not right to generalize but its hard when the only thing you've been exposed to was this man who lied his way into an innocent family's life and took everything from them. Wasted years of our lives supporting his addiction and waiting for the day he finally would make it out alive and decide to help himself. I know this might not have anything to do with this letter that Sam's friend wrote but it just reminded me of this experience. It's not something I could sum up in 450 words or even in a lifetime. It's just something I want to share, not for pitty or to prove Sam's friend wrong. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:54:24 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430873 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430736 I was about 12 years old when my mom split up with my father and started seeing this man, who has corrupted my thinking of prisoners to a point where I even find this man's letter hard to believe. But before you get upset and defensive please hear me out. My mom's personality is one drawn to damaged people. She has spent her life helping people in need, which is why she makes such a good nurse, and I guess, although unaware at first of this man's true self, was drawn to him. Even to me at first he seemed like this nice genuine guy who just made some bad decisions. And at the time I honestly felt that, through his stories and later discovered lies, he made a turn in his life and learned from his mistakes. But as my mom and I got to know him better, his lies began to give way and his drug addiction was far from solved. He would cry to us and tell us how he was trying to change and how he just needed another chance from us. He didn't want to go back to jail or alienate those around him. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:54:07 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430736 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430681 So this is very surprising to me. My misconception of convicts as the same ugly animals that have no compassion or understanding of human emotions, in my defense, was not just an idea that i ignorantly developed. I've had quite a serious and personal encounter with a convict that, although not a murderer, has done some terrible things and, unfortunately, is one of the monsters that this man who wrote the letter mentioned as a rare exception to those who have truly made a life change in their mindsets. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 20:53:47 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69430681 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448898 The world is driven by the need for power and control and the conscious people that see the world through Sam's eyes are far too few to prevent wars like this from happening in the future. I just wonder when we're going to end up pushing the wrong enemy too far. An enemy that ends up being stronger than us. And if that happens and we end up seeing them on our soil, I am terrified to even imagine what kind of insurgent groups that would rise out of the ashes of our charred and damaged lands. I only hope that we never have to end up making the decisions to do such radical things. It might seem selfish but as ready as I would be to defend my family and loved ones, I would only pray that day would never come. There is enough violence in our country as it is and I could only imagine the things that people would do if war came on our soil as it has in the Middle East. Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:18:49 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448898 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448893 But for those that rose out of defense for our invasion and abuse towards people of the Middle East, it sheds some light onto exactly how much we've pushed people into doing horrible things. I don't think we're entirely to blame and I don't rationalize the actions of insurgants by my own willingness to fight and kill those in revenge for those taken away from me by my enemy, but it sure does make alot of sense looking at it from their point of view. I mean we can't even walk in town without getting attacked, mugged, raped or harrassed and those attacks are usually done for no good reason. I could only imagine how crazy we would get if people came over here and started making our lives as miserable and as much of a mess as we've managed to do over there. Again, beheadings and torture is far from being justified, but looking at it now after this lecture, I think I would do some pretty crazy stuff to my enemies if they took my family away and destroyed my life. But what scares me is that this lecture, although it put things into perspective, only proved that there is no solution. Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:18:45 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448893 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448847 I have to admit I was very impressed by this lecture. When Sam promised this lecutre would rock our worlds I thought it was just him saying what he ends up usually promising with every class. That's not to say he doesn't make those promises but there are times I was less than impressed. But this lecture really got me thinking. Before hearing what Sam had to say I never really thought of the origins of many of these insurgant groups. I know there are some out there that would exist with or without our presence in the Middle East and therefore their existance seem less rational than those mentioned in lecture. Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:18:22 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/christian-invaders-the-turnaround__trashed/#IDComment68448847 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/creating-terrorists__trashed/#IDComment68447734 I feel like its a chain reaction. We go over there, force our presence upon people that don't welcome it, and then we end up breeding, over time, these terrorists (whether completely on our own or with the help of their already present radical ideals) which we feel the need to exterminate. I feel like there is this delusion out there that killing them off will put an end to it. But I feel like killing off terrorists and people "we" find a threat is like trying to kill a jellyfish. You stop on it or cut it into two and you've ended up making more enemies than you started out with. The more we try to win this war the more ticked off we're going to make these people and the more uprisings you'll see. Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:07:27 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/creating-terrorists__trashed/#IDComment68447734 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/creating-terrorists__trashed/#IDComment68447461 I feel like its really important to look at both sides here. Like you said, we may be viewed as the terrorists as well. As Sam pointed out in lecture, its pretty easy to get lost in the media and whatever else is being thrown at you by your enemy. And the crazy thing is is that its impossible, at times like 9/11 (for us) and the bombing in the Middle East (for people in the middle east) to hold onto the fact that the monsters we see in this videos and real life contact may only be representing a small majority of the people we end up growing to hate in times of war. Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:04:34 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/creating-terrorists__trashed/#IDComment68447461 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65672148 You know I think the reason I’m so upset about this nepotism deal in terms of medical school is because there are way too many doctors out there that, granted they know what they are doing, have the worst bedside manners. Part of me can’t help but think that there would be no way someone would pass the interview with their smug personalities and lack of people skill had they not known someone up high that would get them into medical school. I feel that there are plenty of people out there that score just fine on exams and do well enough in school and have great personalities that would make them the amazing doctors. The only thing they are lacking is the backstage pass through someone high up in the medical field, a 4.00 GPA, and a 45 on the MCATs. Although it is extremely important that a doctor does well in school and is able to complete the academic requirements that are expected of any doctor, there is a huge to part being a GOOD doctor that relies heavily on interpersonal skills. It’s that one area that is under stressed resulting in doctors with poor bedside manners. Sat, 3 Apr 2010 00:46:10 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65672148 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65670450 You know what really upsets me about nepotism, specifically with medical school? There are so many people out there that might not be 4.00 students and a 40 MCAT test taker but because they look so hard at those two numbers as well as whose mommy and daddy pay money to the research department at the schools, people who have personality and a true desire to be doctors never get the chance to show what they have because people are too busy butting in line with their connections and unbelievably high test scores. It just really gets to me, because I see myself even restoring to using people I know to get interviews. Sat, 3 Apr 2010 00:35:14 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65670450 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668514 As much as I hate to admit, I remember when I was in third grade I called this girl “black girl”. It wasn’t said with any mean intent, it was merely an observation and my teacher who was African American overheard me, pulled me aside and called me a racist child. Now I am not victimizing myself but simply trying to show how these differences in race, when exposed to children through contact with other kids or through the media and their products, can create a very troublesome world. I’m not sure exactly how to solve this problem with kids. Maybe they need to be exposed to the problems of race earlier on or maybe companies need to start making dolls of all types and being more sensitive to race. But tackling the media and their deficits in the world of race is an entirely different story. Sat, 3 Apr 2010 00:24:24 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668514 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668497 Then, when exposed to these colored dolls they see something strange and more often than not, ugly. And what really disturbs me is that the colored children that look at these dolls and choose the white one are feeling deep down that they wish they had such an easy choice with choosing their skin color. For a child to have to feel that way so early on is a burden that is way too overwhelming for them to handle. It’s not like they (colored children) get enough racist comments from other children pointing out their different hair, or nose, or skin color or even smell. Even though the other kids are not at fault because they are simply making an innocent observation, this sense of alienation is a side of racism that is affecting younger children all the time. Sat, 3 Apr 2010 00:24:14 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668497 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668384 This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this video yet it still leaves me with my mouth hanging open in the end. You know the first time I saw this video my insensitive self just figured their preference for the white doll was because of the overproduction of blonde hair blue eyed white Barbies. I figured that any kid that saw a doll that deviated from the formula that followed Hitler’s preferences would seem alien, ugly and undesirable to them. The sad thing is, is that just as much as the media, with their advertisements and products, equates beauty to thin, driving many women to psychological and physical sickness, the media does just as efficient of a job at promoting white as the superior race leading to the confusion and hidden damages to kids just like those seen in the video. When these kids see white doll after white doll, with an occasional colored doll as one of the long lost best friends of Barbie, they begin to assume that white is the norm. Sat, 3 Apr 2010 00:23:58 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65668384 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238607 To have guys disgusted is one thing but to have girls embarrassed about a function they’ve had for quite some time now is confusing. And maybe it is not their faults (the girls that is). Maybe its the majority of the guys that got up and walked out that makes girls afraid to be open about it. I mean I can see not wanting to go around screaming about your period or brag about a huge crap you just took but for goodness sakes people...it happens get over it. I just didn’t see the big deal. Now Sam’s shock factor even got me a bit but I think that was his point. I feel like he was basically saying “you think talking about simple bleeding is bad? Let me show you how gross it can get.” And I completely agree with him. Most of us are not used to being exposed to this kind of stuff and in my defense and in the defense of others, maybe its my premedical background that leaves me un-phased to such topics. I’m not sure but I do know this. One day a girl in your life is going to need support for the changes going on in her body be it from PMS or menopause. I just hope that by then we can get over this and be open to discussing it. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:34:19 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238607 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238596 I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the words associated with private parts turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?” I agree with Sam that we need to be more open to accepting these things. And no it shouldn’t automatically be a private thing where the monthly PMS is limited to the bathroom. And what surprised me even more was the embarrassment from the girls in the class at not admitting their period. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:34:13 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238596 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238566 That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:34:03 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238566 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238386 I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:32:43 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64238386