36 comments posted · 639 followers · following 2

7 years ago @ The Toast - Go On, Get Out Of Here · 0 replies · +45 points

Nope, nope, nope, I am the panda cub, The Toast is the ball, and you are the ineffectual gloved hand, Ortberg

(But seriously, you're the best, Mallory; I'm going to miss you and everything Toast terribly! Thanks so much for everything, Misandrist-in-Chief)

7 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 0 replies · +9 points

I'm too emotionally overwhelmed to say much, except that I love The Toast and every single person who's been a part of it is awesome and and personally important to me, even if we've never directly interacted. The Toast has had such a huge impact on me that I'm not really ready to process what it means. So it's time to take to the sea full of post-Toast social media, where I'll be reading and loving what you post and say even if I don't say much myself. And I'll linger around what remains of The Toast site itself like a nostalgic ghost until the internet disappears. I'm so glad you were all here and that you'll all be out there somewhere as witty, witchy, compassionate, misandric, and amazing Toast Crumbs. Thank you and good bye to each and every one of you.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +17 points

*hugs back*
*responds with gif because verklempt*

7 years ago @ The Toast - A note on The Toast · 0 replies · +56 points

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +10 points

Thank YOU for getting it, for validating my messy emotional comment, and for being one of my people. Fellow Toastie, I love you, too.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +17 points

This is the comment that got my tears flowing, and they keep going as I read everything all you wonderful Toasties have to say at the end of all things. Thank you so much for the lovely Toast benediction, GingerHawk.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +37 points

I almost chided myself for crying over "a website". I am not crying over a website, damn it, I am crying over the decommissioning of the Starship Toast: an adventuring home-space full of my people. The Toast felt like home, populated with kind, brilliant, and hilarious kindred spirits I didn't think existed in this world, that warmed the cockles of my once-frozen heart every time I visited. But The Toast was also always taking us on adventures: adventures in misandry, in emotional depth, in hilarity, in the arcane, in monkery, etc. Most of all, our adventures felt like a team effort, led by a glorious golden trio of Captains Nicole, Mallory, and Nikki, with all the wonderful contributors and amazing commenters and even us lurkers coming together to explore strange worlds, to wander among the stars, and to drink male tears in our witchy robes. The Toast has meant more to me than I can convey, but based on the comments here I'm not alone. Yet another gift The Toast has given me - feeling that I'm not alone, not in my weird tastes and humor, and not in my deep love for "a website". Thank you to every single Toastie, you are all marvelous.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +1 points

Sending Toast hugs and supportive thoughts your way!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +39 points

A reprieve! One Day More! I'll take whatever Toast Crumbs are on offer because, well:

ETA: wow, embedding that gif was a STRUGGLE in a long line of 2016 struggles!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 0 replies · +1 points

Brookelet, I am so sorry about your situation and I really, really sympathize. That kind of seismic change in a close relationship - I honestly don't know how folks weather those without at lot of tears and sorrow. In your case I think grief and denial are only natural. You can definitely stay friends in your new LDR form, but of course things won't be the same. And you should allow yourself to mourn that inevitable, unavoidable change, even as you remember that it's not *the end*.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself. My situation has some parallels to yours: next week I'm leaving the country that's been my home for 3 years (for the greater Seattle area - small world!), leaving behind one of the most important people in my life - my own roommate/heterosexual life partner - perhaps forever. Add to that all the recent horrible events in the world, the shuttering of The Toast, and a complete re-think of my entire life, I'm coping but *just* coping.

I think people generally undervalue the tremendous importance of close, supportive domestic relationships that aren't built on romantic love or kinship ties. You built a life with your dear friend, so what's coming is like a divorce or breakup without the bad feelings. On the other hand, your heterosexual life partner will still be your friend even when she's in NYC. She's not out of your life, just far away. It still sucks - believe me! - but change, even in foundational relationships, is inevitable. It's not the end for the two of you.

Internet hugs if you want them!