en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2430720 Comments by Dudleydidwrong http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950633750 No. The League of the South is a no-balls conference. Sun, 15 Feb 2015 00:54:23 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950633750 http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950632401 The Romans salted the ground around Carthage so that nothing would grow. With the oceans rising due to Climate Change, the Old South may get the same treatment. Sun, 15 Feb 2015 00:46:20 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950632401 http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950631961 And when they start to turn and run, just remind them that their reward in the Afterlife will be 72 virgin Ann Coulters. Sun, 15 Feb 2015 00:43:57 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576174/asshat-wankers-celebrate-lincolns-birthday-by-thanking-john-wilkes-booth#IDComment950631961 http://wonkette.com/576238/the-fartknocker-report-sarah-palin-moves-lips-about-abortion-lies-ensue-surprise#IDComment950589591 When I read the phrase "content calendar works" I immediately thought of Palin and her menstrual cycle. The poor dear was dealing with three things at once: A lunar menstrual cycle, a solar calendar of 30/31-day months (February really was a bitch), and her meth, booze, and blow calendar when the delivery boys would arrive and she'd have to write checks. Her confusion has probably carried over into her now omnipresent senile years. Sat, 14 Feb 2015 20:38:59 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576238/the-fartknocker-report-sarah-palin-moves-lips-about-abortion-lies-ensue-surprise#IDComment950589591 http://wonkette.com/576181/rick-perry-poor-texans-love-not-having-health-insurance-it-is-their-hobby#IDComment950587938 Gregg Abbott flirted briefly with health insurance. Suddenly he remembered what his daddy had told him about the birds and bees so he immediately practiced "insuranceus interruptus" and abruptly pulled out of health insurance so that nothing would happen. That's the extent of sex ed in Texas? Sat, 14 Feb 2015 20:29:40 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576181/rick-perry-poor-texans-love-not-having-health-insurance-it-is-their-hobby#IDComment950587938 http://wonkette.com/576210/tea-party-loon-dave-brat-socrates-would-want-us-to-slash-school-funding-for-poor-kids#IDComment950554993 BRAT: a politician who gets his rocks off while talking about rocks and other things of which he knows nothing. If Plato thought that only a rock was needed for education he wasted all the government money he got to start his Charter School/Academy. I guess that Socrates wasn't a very good teacher. Brat needs to crawl back under his rock. Sat, 14 Feb 2015 17:25:29 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576210/tea-party-loon-dave-brat-socrates-would-want-us-to-slash-school-funding-for-poor-kids#IDComment950554993 http://wonkette.com/576228/all-about-the-dcks-your-florida-roundup#IDComment950537807 As one who is very familiar with Florida I can say with certainty that the whole goddamn state could undergo dick reduction surgery and still would be filled with stupid, thoughtless, greedy people, not all of whom are from New Jersey. The gov. of this failed state, if he were to undergo dick reduction surgery, would be reduced to a pile of lies. Decent weather, wonderful animals, and some good restaurants do not make up for the human realities. Sat, 14 Feb 2015 15:58:33 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576228/all-about-the-dcks-your-florida-roundup#IDComment950537807 http://wonkette.com/576104/new-republican-congress-accomplishes-nothing-goes-on-vacation#IDComment950269656 Mixed metaphor time: "Dog chases sailboat" "Dog catches sailboat" "Dog bites rudder" "Dog fucking drowns" Fri, 13 Feb 2015 15:35:38 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576104/new-republican-congress-accomplishes-nothing-goes-on-vacation#IDComment950269656 http://wonkette.com/576050/creationists-name-neil-degrasse-tyson-censor-of-the-year-for-cutting-god-from-cosmos#IDComment950091261 The Discovery Institute charges Tyson with working with an airbrush. As a young Didwrong I often looked at pictures of nude women in Playboy and Penthouse, all of whom at that time had certain parts changed somewhat by airbrushing. The result was a belief on my part that all women were smooth and vacant in their lower abdomen and all women had staples in their navels. Perhaps Ken Ham had the same experiences with Playboy and Penthouse and has never gone beyond the airbrush experience. "Hey, Ken! There's a lot more to those women--and to the science of Neil deGrasse Tyson--than you ever imagined. But fap all you want to whatever myth you espouse." Thu, 12 Feb 2015 22:41:34 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576050/creationists-name-neil-degrasse-tyson-censor-of-the-year-for-cutting-god-from-cosmos#IDComment950091261 http://wonkette.com/575934/scott-walker-way-too-smart-to-answer-whether-evolution-is-a-thing#IDComment949868334 Walker and simple pond scum have both been around for a long, long time. One, however, is more intelligent than the other. Thu, 12 Feb 2015 03:22:08 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575934/scott-walker-way-too-smart-to-answer-whether-evolution-is-a-thing#IDComment949868334 http://wonkette.com/575928/barack-obama-hates-maureen-dowd-as-do-all-patriotic-americans#IDComment949867311 Martin or Lex? (I know...I know...spelling, but I was raised on fonix) Thu, 12 Feb 2015 03:15:54 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575928/barack-obama-hates-maureen-dowd-as-do-all-patriotic-americans#IDComment949867311 http://wonkette.com/575746/creationists-darwin-was-wrong-and-unicorns-are-real#IDComment949543912 Oh! Unicorn! I thought we were talkin' about "eunuch's horns" and how rare they were. Now I find out its just about common everyday unicorns. Hell, there's three in my yard right now, so what's the big deal? Eunuch's horns, on the other hand... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 22:05:52 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575746/creationists-darwin-was-wrong-and-unicorns-are-real#IDComment949543912 http://wonkette.com/575485/gun-rights-fools-are-foolish-again-arent-you-just-floored#IDComment949217234 The cat in the hat in the photo is obviously shopping for condoms; large size for his shoulder weapon and extra small for his own wee-wee. Mon, 9 Feb 2015 17:02:44 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575485/gun-rights-fools-are-foolish-again-arent-you-just-floored#IDComment949217234 http://wonkette.com/575436/ted-nugent-sarah-palin-is-the-dream-dr-king-and-the-founding-fathers-died-for#IDComment948949539 Sarah an experiment? Nah. If she were a proper experiment Benjamin Franklin would have tied a kite to her neck and had her hold a key in her teeth during a lightning storm. That's the shocking truth. Sun, 8 Feb 2015 19:01:17 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575436/ted-nugent-sarah-palin-is-the-dream-dr-king-and-the-founding-fathers-died-for#IDComment948949539 http://wonkette.com/575400/the-sarah-palin-fartknocker-report-sarah-sees-syria-by-the-seashore#IDComment948785843 Rand Paul is an ophthalmologist--wake up, sheeple!! Sun, 8 Feb 2015 02:59:36 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575400/the-sarah-palin-fartknocker-report-sarah-sees-syria-by-the-seashore#IDComment948785843 http://wonkette.com/575400/the-sarah-palin-fartknocker-report-sarah-sees-syria-by-the-seashore#IDComment948785516 They were either Amish Liberians, Ammosexual libertarians, or greedy parents who hoped that their son would make it big in the porn industry and would cut them in on his income. Sun, 8 Feb 2015 02:57:05 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575400/the-sarah-palin-fartknocker-report-sarah-sees-syria-by-the-seashore#IDComment948785516 http://wonkette.com/575217/learn-this-hot-new-trick-to-raise-girls-into-ladies-with-homemaking-classes#IDComment948419056 But make sure that you only become a "mother" within the context of a Christian marriage with proper shaped wedding cake at the reception in the church basement. Otherwise you are not a real mother, but just a "mutha." (There's something in Leviticus about penis-shaped wedding cakes: "Thou shalt not make a cake in the image of Dr. James Dobson, even though he is a dick.") Fri, 6 Feb 2015 15:54:18 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575217/learn-this-hot-new-trick-to-raise-girls-into-ladies-with-homemaking-classes#IDComment948419056 http://wonkette.com/575217/learn-this-hot-new-trick-to-raise-girls-into-ladies-with-homemaking-classes#IDComment948417349 "What is this "evil-lution" thing about which you write?" I'm Dr. James Dobson--Dr. Dobson--and I ought to know that I never evolved. Fri, 6 Feb 2015 15:47:08 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575217/learn-this-hot-new-trick-to-raise-girls-into-ladies-with-homemaking-classes#IDComment948417349 http://wonkette.com/575200/who-are-we-shooting-this-week-oh-its-girl-scouts#IDComment948415167 I didn't read anything about Skittles. I guess that the big crime would have been if she had been carrying evil Skittles while on her way to pick up GS cookies. State law against that, so maybe the shooter was just checking. So he's innocent. Fri, 6 Feb 2015 15:37:17 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575200/who-are-we-shooting-this-week-oh-its-girl-scouts#IDComment948415167 http://wonkette.com/575203/aaron-schocks-staffer-resigns-to-spend-more-time-being-racist-jerk-on-facebook#IDComment948263003 Hagar the Really Fucking Horrible? Fri, 6 Feb 2015 03:05:09 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575203/aaron-schocks-staffer-resigns-to-spend-more-time-being-racist-jerk-on-facebook#IDComment948263003