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The last convention I attended was Salt Lake Comic Con last September, and the last session of the con was easily the best one; the DM at our table was very performative and whimsical, always had a dad joke at the ready. Instead of being a hack-and-slash, it had much more of the vibe of one of my home games; lots of roleplay and creative problem-solving instead of just a string of fights and simple puzzles. Our characters were meant to be getting quickly to a location to do something important, but we promptly got lost and separated in the wilderness only to be found by Jenny Greenteeth and her sisters, who kept making "jokes" about eating us. My bard Calvric (sort of a fantasy Jimi Hendrix, since repurposed as an NPC in my regular campaign) critically failed on an Insight check to get an impression of whether they were at all trustworthy, so I spent the rest of the game stanning for them, insisting that these sweet, kind ladies (very clearly a coven of green hags, for anyone who has any familiarity with D&D monsters; fey creatures based on the sort of Brothers-Grimm-esque witches that lure children into gingerbread houses in the woods. Pretty much always evil, though older editions' Ravenloft setting did have a version of bruja, who as played there were pretty much just hags that somehow gained foreknowledge of their own deaths and decided being evil was kinda shitty and maybe they should NOT do that) had rescued me from the woods, given me food and shelter, and that it was so REFRESHING as an adventurer to run into NICE people in my line of work; there are so few people you can trust, really, and it's just lovely to have my expectations broken in a positive way once in a while, and gods, why are the rest of you acting so stiff and uncomfortable? Have some respect for our hosts!
Thing is, I played that for laughs, but the way our DM was playing Jenny and her sisters, I genuinely think they meant us no harm unless we really screwed up our interactions; they seemed to have a morbid sense of humor and sort of a Hannibal-esque "eat the rude" attitude, so I inadvertently made things easier by fucking up a roll and committing to it, haha. Being just INCESSANTLY polite, grateful, and pleasant for the rest of the game may have saved us some trouble. It is also possible that they were just toying with us, because according to D&D lore, that's what green hags DO; they're sort of "bring you in, deceive you, and try to break you down as much as possible before they kill you" beings. But by the end, we left unscathed, so who knows. Jenny herself as a recurring character in Adventurer's League seems less like a 'villain' and more... just a sinister, strange, and off-putting person that clearly has SOME kind of agenda. You can enlist her help for spellcasting services if you can't find anyone else to help you, and she'll give you basically a 'discount' of sorts (by which I mean she'll charge you only the usual cost of the spellcasting and forgo the cost to your character's soul represented by spending downtime days, which are kind of a currency in Adventurer's League?) if you complete some kind of weird request for her, which ranges from just giving her a lingering embrace to telling her some personal secrets about you or your family to allowing her to hurt you in some nasty but relatively minor way.
This is the one I've been waiting for ever since Mark announced this project.
Gur svefg gjb frnfbaf bs Xbeen pnzr gb ehfurq pbapyhfvbaf naq arire ernyyl pnzr gbtrgure aneengviryl; gurl unq nyy gur cvrprf bs fbzrguvat rkpryyrag ba gur obneq, ohg qvqa'g dhvgr xabj jurer gb chg gurz gb znkvzvmr gur vzcnpg bs vg nyy. Obgu Nzba naq Hanynd/Inngh naq gur pber pbasyvpgf gurl ercerfrag ner jnl zber vagrerfgvat va gurbel guna rkrphgvba, naq V guvax gur fubj sybhaqref n yvggyr jvgu gurz naq snvyf gb pbzzvg rabhtu gb gurz.
Gung fnvq, zl ovttrfg pbzcynvag nobhg guvf frnfba vf npghnyyl gbgnyyl nrfgurgvp; n ybg bs gur navzngvba vf hahfhnyyl fgngvp be njxjneq qhr gb zhpu bs gur frnfba orvat navzngrq ol Fghqvb Cvreebg engure guna Fghqvb Zve; gurl phg n ybg bs pbearef naq gurve jbex ybbxf abgvprnoyl jbefr ol pbzcnevfba.
Gung'f nyy whfg zl bcvavba, bs pbhefr. Jurgure lbh nterr be abg, V sryg yvxr gur fubj tbg onpx ba genpx va Obbxf Guerr naq Sbhe naq pnzr qnza pybfr gb orvat nf fngvfslvat naq pbby nf GYN. Rfcrpvnyyl gur snpg gung XBEENFNZV VF PNABA!
You're lucky that your interactions with Comcast have been as smooth as they have; I and my family have had only problems. My sister had to call them nearly every month for one reason or another over the year and a half I lived with her family in Minnesota; they were constantly trying to silently overcharge her or to limit her service, and my dealings with them here have been very unpleasant.
As for my personal hell, I think it'd involve me sitting in a room without distractions, forced to make eternal phone calls to Social Security. I'm very introverted and on the autism spectrum (some variant that doesn't affect my social interactions but SEVERELY limits my stress threshold) and so I live on SSI, and while I appreciate the assistance they give me, Social Security is a nightmare knot of bureaucracy and paperwork, and I don't even like speaking to my FRIENDS on the phone, haha.
Or possibly I would be confined to a world where I have infinite resources to order things from Amazon Prime, but all packages are infinitely delayed or lost, and I spend all of my time hoping that just ONE thing will finally show up on my doorstep and fruitlessly complaining to customer service about the things that haven't come, who constantly renew my faint hopes by resending the item or rerouting it. But NOTHING EVER ARRIVES.
Or I suppose I could be working on my novel and come up with some idea that I'm EXTREMELY enthusiastic about, only for the computer to crash before the document is saved and I only remember about 10% of the concept and can never recover it, looping ad infinitum. This happened to me for real several times back before I switched from Microsoft Word to Scrivener for all of my worldbuilding/plotting/drafting/editing purposes, which automatically saves and backs up your documents frequently and has saved me a lot of heartache.
Or I might be forced to drive and park or ride endless bus lines that never get me where I need to go, haha. I don't have a license because of that pesky autism spectrum disorder again; the whole concept of driving is terrifying to me and I've never gotten my license even though I'm 25 because I just can't take it. I also hate public transportation, so I end up relying on family and friends to drive me places if necessary.
JBEQF VA GUR URNEG PNAABG OR GNXRA. You gave us all a worthy legacy of words, Sir Terry. We'll miss your presence, but the words will echo as long as we're here to read them.
Bhe zhghny sevraq gur Erncre Zna znl unir pbzr, ohg gur evccyrf lbh pnhfrq va gur jbeyq jvyy bayl or nzcyvsvrq ol gur bgure yvirf gurl'ir gbhpurq, naq gur pebcf lbh yrsg sbe hf jvyy or uneirfgrq ol znal arj trarengvbaf gb pbzr.