My hippo ranching idea will finally take off!
Funny, I always thought that the idea of being "Christian" and nice to people applied whether they liked you or not. Also since Easter (the goddess, not the day named after her) holds bunnies and eggs to be important having an egg hunt seems like the best thing to do to honor the roots of that particular holiday.
Maybe as a wandering Dutchman he'll be giving out dutch-rudders.
Ouroboros predates Jeebus by about 2300 years. So if it was in Revelations that John dude jacked it from the Egyptians, or maybe the Greeks, or Romans. Christianity tends to be lacking in originality.
Someone should send that family a case of Trojan's for Christmas or whatever those magical underwear people celebrate.
Actually the airing of grievances is usually something my wife and her sister do after too many drinks on Christmas day. Then they don't talk for 5-6 months. By late summer they might be getting along face to face and bitching about the other in private. Thanksgiving goes well. Then it's time for Christmas again and the airing of grievances.
Thankfully I come from a family of silent grudge holders who smile and act nice even when we hate each other. It's much less dramatic.
I've been recently talking to my six year old about how Jeebus is just one in a long line of solar super-beings to get reborn in the middle of winter around the solstice. This makes me super popular with his Catholic grandparents. Not that we don't celebrate Christmas and even call it Christmas, but then again we also celebrate Chanukah and the actual solstice. Because really holidays are awesome so why not have as many as you can.
Immediately followed by a furrowing of the brow and a tapping of the foot.