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IANADoctor, but might you have treatment-resistant depression? Depression is a nasty beast and makes it so.effing.hard to even try to seek help in the first place; working up the ability to do so and have it not work is just awful.
I think you're incredibly strong, because you've kept trying after several attempts haven't gotten results. If I hadn't gotten incredibly lucky with my therapist, I don't think I would have tried a different one, much less several. It was hard enough to even get the motivation to consider seeing someone at all.
Have your different therapists tried different methods with you, or have they generally done the same approach in just slightly different ways? "Talk" therapy is widely known, but there's also Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (popular, but perhaps not as widely known), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and more.
There are also some non-medication treatments that might be worth looking into (assuming you haven't already, of course). From the Mayo Clinic ( http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dep... ):
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). During ECT, electric currents are passed through the brain, intentionally triggering a brief seizure. ECT seems to cause changes in brain chemistry that can quickly reverse symptoms of certain mental illnesses. Although many people are leery of ECT and its potential side effects (such as confusion or amnesia), it can offer immediate relief of even severe depression when other treatments don't work.
Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS). TMS uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. A large electromagnetic coil is placed against your scalp near your forehead. The electromagnet creates electric currents that stimulate nerve cells in the region of your brain involved in mood control and depression.
Vagus nerve stimulation (VNS). VNS stimulates the vagus nerve with electrical impulses. This treatment uses a device implanted in your chest that's connected by a wire to a nerve in your neck (vagus nerve). Electrical signals from the implant travel along the vagus nerve to the mood centers of the brain, which may improve depression symptoms.
The Electroconvulsive Therapy is NOT at all like what they did back in the 1950s at asylums. It's on a much lower level and isn't painful at all. I know someone who has treatment-resistant depression and says that ECT has been amazingly beneficial and literally life-changing. It not only improved her depression in itself, but it also has made her therapy MUCH more effective.
I mean, I dig what you're saying. It's kind of like a woman deliberately choosing to change her last name when she marries today. How much is HER choice versus societal expectations? Does her choice impact other women around her and in the future? Isn't it (ironically) patronizing to think she didn't REALLY freely choose to change it because of cultural context? Tons and tons of nuance and shades of grey with very little black or white.
And three piece suits. Or suits with waistcoats. With suspenders. Basically, I live for Raul Esparza as ADA Barba on L&O:SVU, is what I'm saying. http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/38100000/B...
(God I love Barba! I thought no one could ever top Cabot, but I was wrong).
But everyone has to follow the same rules for casual hats like baseball caps or toques http://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquett...
(I wouldn't MIND much if men's dressy/fashion hats were treated more like women's hats, and as long as it's not getting in the way or blocking people's view, I don't care much. And I'd be just as annoyed if a woman was wearing a big hat that blocked my view, heh hehe).
Maybe most relevant to this article is that I set out wanting to wear bright reds. And I do wear them occasionally, but tweaking the colors to ones that just seem more ... ME -- fuchsias and fuchsia-reds (like Vivid Rose and Pop of Cherry here http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fOiEzX59beU/UbAQNhAcJ1I... or Milani's Flamingo Pose here http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8244/8505697377_046... ) -- makes them FEEL like a part of my look instead of imitating someone else.
Primary sources for Social History, focusing on women, people of color, lgbt, the poor, etc. are around but not as accessible as they should be. Census tracts, probate records, city directories, church newsletters, union or professional organization newspapers, letters, pamphlets/leaflets/fliers, etc.
I LOVE this stuff, if you can't tell.
Mining company scrip wasn’t banned until the 1950s.