I said:

"it is beneficial to our earthly selves to repent to the Lord for our sins in order to bring closure* and peace although we know that our salvation is not hanging by the thread of each iniquity"

I am stating exactly what you state, read the original Romans posts Lori wrote to see where I thought there was contradiction. You do not understand my point and most commenters didn't but Lori and Ken did- I was pointing out the importance of his repentence and contrasting it with another post.

*My original comment had this word misspelled.

This message is completely contradictory to your Roman's teaching Lori. What are you trying to convey by exclaiming that we have no need to repent our sins to the Lord, just to one another and then publishing this testimony where a woman counts her (presumably already saved) husband's repentence to the Lord as a mile marker toward their marriage restoration. It seems that either it is beneficial to our earthly selves to repent to the Lord for our sins in order to bring closer and peace although we know that our salvation is not hanging by the thread of each iniquity or this man had no reason to start crying alongside his wife.

Steve's wife and family will be in my prayers today. This is a very heart breaking post and what a loving and devoted wife Stephanie is.

I do not dispute that biologically women and men are different. That is absolutely true. That wasn't my point though. The notion that women desire men more after they spend several minutes or hours caressing, massaging or kissing their wives is what I disagree with. I believe women become aroused quickly just like men not slowly like crockpots but I do agree that they take longer before orgasm.

I doubt that groupies who get a chance to go back stage and sleep with their favorite famous rock star are worried about if they will get massages and have an orgasm, they are quickly turned on by the man and will willingly have sex instantly with him. That was my point. Of course we all love getting massages and when our husbands do dishes or help with the kids but these things are not slowly warming up a woman for sex, they are just nice things that women appreciate.

"Why is it that affairs often take minutes, but relationship coaches keep perpetuating this idea that loving husbands must continually romance their wives to put them in the mood for sex; and of course the best romantic move is doing the dishes? "

This is definitely a good point. Women don't fantasize about their husbands doing dishes and rocking babies, if so, books like fifty shades of grey would not have taken the world by storm.

This notion is spearheaded by men who fell for the feminist lie as well. I imagine 200 years ago when women freely gave sex to their husbands, it was their brawn and lingering sweat and dirt on them that turned their wives on. If a man grabbed the baby and put him down, that would have been appreciated in a massive way but it does not add to the wife's desire. I would go as far as to say that it might make the man look emastulated in a woman's eyes if he did these things too terribly much. A man is sexy, and that will never change, therefore manly things are sexy to women and that also will never change.

" a woman is a crock pot and a man a microwave "

I respectfully disagree with this. It contradicts your other assertion. An adulteress will be naked in five minutes, she doesn't need the man to rub her shoulders and light candles first. Most affairs happen with men who are careless and passive and it is a sexy contrast compared to their husbands who are subservient and smothering.

The truth is women do not understand their own desires at all and men have bought into the notion that doing chores and rubbing feet will get them sex because they are desperate for sex now that women can shamelessly deny their husbands and that is what they are told from childhood on up.

I do not know the answer for men and I do not claim to but I do know that women respond in a sexual way to masculinity, not femininity and women's desires are quickly awakened, same as men. Affairs are our best proof of this as you say, affairs happen in minutes.

Count me in!

Awesome post Lori! Thanks for explaining that God mentions divorce because he knows some are going to happen because we are sinful and not everyone will honor their vow, but that that doesn't mean He has condoned it, in fact He hates it. Take care!

It's unfortunate that someone would speak to/about you in this way, Lori. Thank you for what you do! Keep speaking truth and making "strong independent women" look bad!

Lori, you say

"they ALL say they are a better mother and this should NOT be! The only way you make your husband into an idol is if you expect him to meet all your needs, give you purpose and fulfill you, instead of finding these things in the Lord"

I respect you so much, your wisdom shines through in what you must see as simply answering or agreeing with someone. I can't tell you enough how much you encourage me. It is in your one on one sound advice and answering of comments that most can be learned. You are a very special lady to me and many others, I'm certain.

It is funny how "loving your husband" and serving him first, making him your first priority is frowned upon in defense of neglect toward the children. However, a woman can "love herself" and serve herself first and make herself a top priority by abandoning her horrible husband and blowing up a family through divorce and noone comes to the defense of the children. Bizarre. I believe most women feel intense shame when among women who love their husbands more and so they rationalize this conviction and enture Bible verses away by saying things like "but the kids need me, my husband can take care of himself, he's a big boy, etc."