This article has given me some inspiration. I think I'm going to have to tackle this subject on my own blog. Thanks for a refreshing take on this situation; one that isn't misandric or misogynistic, just balanced. (I think I'll cite you guys, as well.)
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Good post. I do think that instant gratification is one of the things contributing to the downfall of our culture.
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I like this. It's great to hear a Black woman in 2013 say these words and mean them. It gives me hope for the future.
Peace.
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All right, last comment.

I don't know where you're from, but in Detroit, where I'm from, I always hear of news stories about fights and shootouts at nightclubs. That happens pretty often here, not all the time, but too often not to notice. Also, for the few times I've been to parties, I've been mean-mugged and picked on by the other men there, probably because I'm the only "nerdy" guy there, and I don't belong, so to speak.

Also, clubs are about drug use, since alcohol is a drug. Drugs are, according to the New Oxford American Dictionary "substances that have psychological effects when ingested or otherwise introduced to the body." Alcohol does this, though the amount varies from person to person, of course.

Are there any clubs out there that don't serve alcoholic beverages? Maybe those are the ones you and the other people who've commented attend. I don't know about that, since I don't deliberately look for clubs, so maybe you know of other alternative venues. (No sarcasm here.)

It stands to reason that if I hear negative things about clubs from news, friends, and my own experiences, and even receive acclaim from NOT participating in the culture, then I won't attend nightclubs, nor would I look for a woman who would. I'm not condemning you or anyone else for doing so, of course.

And no, I don't mean casual sex inside the club, I mean that's what many people go to look for. People (at least single men, anyway) go with the intention of meeting someone for a hookup. I don't think men go to dance or anything like that.

They could be looking for a relationship, admittedly, but I don't believe that to be commonplace.

I don't know any of you personally, and I'm not trying to start a beef. I just disagreed with the article and offered a counterpoint. If I offended anyone here, I apologize.

Obviously, this blog caters to extroverted people more than it does to introverts, so if you want me to, just say the word, and I can leave. I enjoy the content here, but there's no reason to stay if I'm not wanted.
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I understood what you meant. Please, I would ask you to refrain from using ad hominem attacks.

Again, people spending time with their friends is fine, I have no problem with that.

When I stated that I didn't understand club culture, I meant that if the club is a place in which alcohol, drugs, fights, and people trying to engage in casual sex exist, then why do people frequent it? I know what happens in nightclubs, but I can't understand why people find them enjoyable.

That's all, sir.
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"If you are dating a woman who excepts random drinks from men you have a much bigger problem on your hands."

-Agreed.

"Girls Night Out can be so many different things but lets just say it includes going to a club with her girls."

-So Girl's Night Out can be a ladies' chess tournament? Now THAT's something to see.

"Just because she is dolled up doesn't mean she is looking for other mens attention. What woman decides to go out with her friends and half-a** on her appearance? And why whould you want her too?"

-If she isn't looking for attention, why would she be? Again, since I'm outside of the partying sphere, you'll have to tell me.

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Perhaps the reason I don't agree with much of this is because I don't understand it. Maybe, as an introvert, someone who doesn't like or agree with club culture, I'll never really understand people who do.

For example, alcohol. I don't know why people need to blame something else on their own actions. If she wanted to cheat on me, why would she need to blame anything or anyone else? She should just do it and be honest with herself and me about it. I think this is a problem with people in general: no one wants to be accountable for their misdeeds.

As far as appreciating a good man at home, I suppose. But if she has to expose herself to misery to see why she likes me ... I see that as an issue.
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1. I wouldn't deliberately hit on a woman whom I knew dressed in short attire at all. Then again, what do you mean by short? You, I, or some other woman may have a different opinion on what constitutes short. It's an ambiguous term.

2. If she wants to listen to her friends and find someone better, fine. I'd rather not stay in a situation in which my woman thinks she can do better. If she feels that she can do better, she can leave. I'm fine with that. I don't want to be a woman's Plan "B" or Plan "Z" (the true last resort).
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I'm 21.

As far as the sexy outfits, it's not so much that, but it's the intent behind it. I personally feel that a woman showing a lot of her body while she's in a relationship is an issue. How much of an issue it would be depends on the amount shown, but as my grandmother always said to my younger sister: "Don't advertise what isn't for sale."

Also, my level of "insecurity" has nothing to do with my points. I wouldn't show my body (granted I'm 133 pounds, so there's not much to see) or flaunt copious amounts of money to attract the attention of other women; there are just certain behaviors that I feel have no place in a serious relationship.

I'm not judging anyone for drinking, but if I choose not to enter into a serious relationship with someone who did, I don't see how that would be a problem. I don't drink for a multitude of reasons, and I don't like being around those who do. (This stems from childhood issues, and that's all I'll say now.)

Peace.
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Hmm ... I have to say, I like the content you guys put out here, but this one isn't one that I agree with completely.

1. I agree that trust relationships require trust, but at the same time, neither party should do anything to arouse the other person's suspicion. If I was with a woman and she went out to clubs with rather short attire on, that would cause me to wonder why she's seeking extra attention.

2. The woman I'm with should be enough of a free-thinker to date me regardless of whether her friends like me. If my friends don't like the woman I'm with, so what? I'm not going to stop dating her—unless she's abusive or something like that. I can understand family, but if her friends don't like me, I don't think that's my problem. Besides, the friends and significant other should exist in separate worlds anyway.

3. You stated that no matter how much a woman drank, she'd come home to you. Uhhh ... I doubt that. Alcohol impairs judgment, as do other drugs. It doesn't matter how much loyalty she has if she's not in the correct frame of mind. She will do something she regrets if she's consumed enough alcohol; one of the reasons why I wouldn't date a woman who drinks.

4. The woman I enter a relationship with should want to be with me because she sees me as a person of integrity, discipline, and intelligence—she shouldn't want to be with me because every other guy in the club is lame. To me, that's a crappy reason to be with someone. "Oh, I'm with you because the men in the club suck." What? She should want to be with me irrespective of what else is out there. If she feels she can do better, she shouldn't be with me at all.

5. Again, I'm not a big fan of inebriation at all. I don't agree with buying women drinks either, for one, I don't drink. Two, if a man buys a woman a drink, it's clear he wants to have sexual intercourse with her, and if she's not interested, she shouldn't accept it. It's different from something like candy or a card; which someone can't become intoxicated off of, but alcohol and other drugs are unacceptable.

Now, my "guys night out" consists of analyzing Hip-Hop lyrics, watching Anime/old school cartoons/lectures/news stories/documentaries, or playing the next big RPG or Fighting game. Now, if her "girl's night out" were similar to that, it'd be fine, but I'm not going to enter into a relationship with a woman who has to doll up, show almost everything, and accept drinks from random men. No way.

Again, I like the content on your blog, but this post I can't cosign. Of course, this is a somewhat conservative man's opinion, so make of it what you will.

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