It loads so slow

Last December God brought me to today's Song of Ascents, Psalm 131. And, while I don't have a song for this one, I DO have what I wrote as a blog post last year, when the Holy Spirit had me start considering these verses. The content of that blog post said:

"O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me,

But I have calmed and queited my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

- Psalm 131:1-2 (ESV)

These verses have been on my heart and I’ve been thinking about them quite a bit lately, especially verse 2.

As a mum who has breast-fed – and, subsequently, weaned – four children, this is a picture I can relate to: the image of a weaned child with its mother.

The weaned child is content in the mother’s presence without having to be on the breast when there is something that troubles them. The child is now able to comfort itself when things are bothering them – the parenting experts call it “self-soothing”. While there was a time that whatever the traumatic event (or perceived trauma) was, from getting an immunisation to a bump on the head or just feeling out of sorts, would result in the necessity of the child being latched on until the calming effect of nursing would take place (for THERE WOULD BE NO CONSOLING WITHOUT IT!), now the child is capable of calming itself down.

I don’t think this is a picture of us no longer needing God when we ‘grow up’ a bit. On the contrary, I think it’s a picture of how we should be when faced with things that would send us into fits of despair. Our aim should be to reach the place of maturity where we can tell our own souls to calm down, reminding ourselves that God loves us and is in control, and place ourselves in a place of prayer where we can receive the peace that passes all understanding, as we wait upon God (see Philippians 4:6-7).

I can admit I have not reached this place. I am still a very unweaned child – sometimes falling to bits, unconsolable in the face of pressures and stresses. But, my prayer is to become like this weaned child with its mother, able to calm and quiet my own soul.

The psalmist David often talked to his own soul – encouraging himself – to calm and quiet down and trust/wait upon the Lord (Ps 42, 43, 103).

This Ps 131:2 is simply the latest scripture to drive home the point to me. The picture of the weaned child is one I hold in my heart and aspire to fully become."

(link to the actual blog post is here: http://wordsofautumn.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/the... )

Now, today, these months later, I don't feel any more weaned than I was then. In light of today's devotional, I see that when I get worked up and do not quiet my soul it comes back to those issues of pride and doubt. Humility trusts and there is trust in humility.

So, yeah... this weaning thing, for me, is still very much a work in progress.

As promised, I have a video for this Song of Ascents. :) Here is Psalm 130, "Out Of The Depths": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PHFBsp1PXI (This is my personal favourite of the four songs/videos I have done for this series).

I'm so grateful that I can call out to God from my depths. The depths of depravity, yes. The depths of despair. The depths of depression. The depths. The depths of MYSELF! The abyss. And, in Him I find full redemption. In Him I meet wholeness that swallows up my brokenness.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits!

I love how God connects things up (He's so awesome like that)! Last night at church (which on the third Sunday of each month is our "alternative, cafe', magazine style service), the theme was on suffering. I (along with a few other talented people) provide the music for these services. We do a mix of praise and worship, contemporary Christian and, oft times, some secular...when it fits with the theme. So, I pulled out R.E.M.'s "Everbody Hurts" (if you want to watch the video of my interpretation of the song, it's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyIv5iL7CME).

"Psalm 129 is such a beautiful reminder that life with the Lord isn’t an ever increasingly beautiful fairytale. The psalmist was greatly afflicted for years and years and he knew the rest of Israel could relate. You’re going to suffer and I’m going to suffer and none of us are immune to pain."

EVERYBODY. None of us are immune. But, I love how Romans 12 encourages us to be proactive, not to take a victim mentality (which, I admit, can be a problem for me - Lord, deliver me!). Because, see, as someone who battles with depression, I certainly understand the lines in the song that talk about days and nights being too long and feeling like one has had too much of this life...but, the challenge for me is the hanging/holding on bit. Which, really, I can only do by the grace of God and trusting Him with the bigger picture, giving myself as a LIVING sacrifice and praying for Him to be glorified in my living. For me, to keep living and not check out before my time, that is the sacrifice.

Everybody hurts sometimes... but, we are not alone. We're not alone because everyone goes through something. And, most importantly, we are not alone because God is with us...in our afflictions; in every season, we are blessed. Amen.

"Romans 12: 1 calls us to the higher ground, to live this Monday as a breathing, willing sacrifice...not a doormat! Not a dead weight lying down on the altar of the day. But, ALIVE, as a witness to each other and the world."

Well said. I all too often give into a victim mentality and what you have said, and today's devo, really speaks to me about continuing to work on that wrong mindset. I tend to just want to go on home to glory... but, God wants me to be a LIVING sacrifice here and now.

Praying for you, as I pray for myself...I'm having one of those days, too.

Despairing of life...being crushed and overwhelmed....these are often daily things for me. And, certainly it is the case today.

Today's devotion follows yesterday's beautifully, I think. I'm having a really, really bad day. It started ok, but went downhill very quickly, reducing me to a shaking, rocking mass of tears...and, although it's hard for me to admit it here, it reduced me to swearing...turning the air blue with empty, ugly words, spoken in pain, anger, frustration and out of an inability to cope (although none of those things are an excuse for swearing... I didn't want to admit that, but I feel I should confess my faults here that, as the Word says in James, I may be healed); I'm feeling crushed and very overwhelmed...and, yes, as I so often do, despairing of life. I need to change my perspective! Quick.

First of all, it's good to know that it's not just me, the wreck that I am, that feels this way. Paul the Apostle, great man of God, also had times of feeling that he just couldn't cope. Now, I need to look up... where my help comes from: the God Who raises the dead. Wow...I just need to let that sink in.

"we can remember that He’s rescued us before and that He’ll do it again…as many times as we need rescuing. (2 Corinthians 9-10, MSG)

And for that we can say thank you, even when nothing seems peachy keen. Because there is no pit we’re in that is deeper than His love.

Let’s give thanks that He is on our side. Today and every day."

I can do that. I may not be able to stop crying at the moment, but right in the midst of those tears I can say, "Thank You, Jesus. I know You love me, I know You are with me, I know You are helping me, I know You have a plan... thank You....and, Heavenly Father, thank You that Your power - the VERY SAME power that raised Jesus from the dead is working in my life right now! How awesome that is. I may not see it or feel like it's happening, but it is! And, so, I will trust and give thanks, through the tears until I can smile again. Help me to receive Your great grace abounding to me now. Amen."

Yes! How awesome is today's devotion, right?

PERSPECTIVE THINKING. We don't need positive thinking, we need PERSPECTIVE THINKING. That's brilliant. Today's devotion reminds me of Isaiah 26:3, which says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You."

Perspective thinking: our God is greater, higher, stronger, mighty to save, very present to help, Saviour, Healer, All Sufficient. That puts our issues, our worries, in perspective. Keeping our eyes (and mind) on him brings peace the world just cannot understand. It's amazing.

I admit, I struggle with worry. It has hit me hard to learn that, really, worry is a symptom of doubt - which I should come against in the name of Jesus. Again I pray (as I so often do), Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!

Alas, I do not have a video for today's Psalm (the next one will be for Psalm 130...wait for it, it's going to be a good one), but I do have a bit of a consolation. I had no idea that today's devotion would include Philippians 4:8 in it, but a few years ago I did an acapella vocal arrangement and video for this powerful verse. So, I'll leave you with my "Whatever", and hope it blesses you. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c0kThLLrdM

Now, it's later, and here's the promised video for Psalm 122. I found setting the whole Psalm to music just impossible at this time. As close as I feel to the Psalmist David, and interpreting his unheard music just from his words, I had to limit myself, in this particular song-prayer, to verse 6 and praying for the peace of Jerusalem... but, I wanted to sing it in the original Hebrew...which I have done. So, I have read the Psalm, recording it as spoken word, with the song-prayer (sung in Hebrew) in the background. As I said in my post above, I really appreciate how today's devotion here puts community in the proper perspective and, for applying this Psalm to our lives, what has been said is, well, just what needs to be said. But, when I was meditating on the Psalm to put it to music, it was this prayer for Jerusalem, the holy city, and God's people Israel, that really struck me. And, so, sisters, I give you: Sha'alu Shalom Yerushalayim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHIeCVVz-eA Watch, listen, be blessed and, please, join me in praying for the peace of Jerusalem. :)

"Whether today brings joy or sorrow, triumph or tragedy, bright and shiny blessings or the quiet, hidden kind, our hope is the same.

Hear that, Sisters. Our circumstances do not change our Hope."

What encouragement and comfort to start the day with. :)

Psalm 121 has long been one of my favourite Psalms. It starts with LIFTING UP the eyes. In depression, the eyes are cast down...everything is cast DOWN. Here I find encouragement to look UP. Where does my help come from? From the Lord Almighty...not just ANYONE, but THE ONE - THE Creator of heaven and earth. HE is my protector and provider. If anything can bring encouragement despite the circumstances - despite all that seeks to drag me down - it is these rich promises. I found it very easy to set this one to music, with focus on lifting up my eyes and ultimate focus on where my help comes from: MY HELP (real, very present help) comes from The Lord. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70lJdAW4TMQ