No Doubt (gift from my mom), 1997
Incubus (gift to my mom), 2002
Various festivals in high school, who could possibly remember all the bands?
Ben Folds, 2004
The Faint, 2004?
Wilco, 2005
The Flaming Lips, 2006
OK Go, 2x in two days, 2006
Interpol, 2007
The Julius Airwave (hometown favorites), 5x or thereabouts, 2007-2008?
Foo Fighters (another gift to my mom), Jimmy Eat World opened, 2008
They Might Be Giants, 2008?
Tegan & Sara, 2010 (free tickets but I had to see Paramore, too)
Philly Folk Festival a couple of times; saw Jeff Tweedy once, 2010-2014?

I think that's all, but who really knows! I'm really impressed with all the people who can remember so many.

My friend calls it "Lady Pomp"
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=pompadour+women...

Oh god the more of these I read the more memories of this guy come back to me. He accidentally set his own pubic hair on fire, more than once, and bragged about it to people! He was always trying to lick my belly button (?!?) and tried to get me to carefully clean it with a q-tip (I was like "no... thanks? I don't really want your tongue in there, actually?"). He wanted to do sexual things in very public places (more than once, literally in front of a friend) and when I did not want to, would make me feel terrible for making him feel like "a monster". He told insane stories about me to all our mutual friends for YEARS, that I had to repeatedly debunk. He thought Ayn Rand was amazing. His parents treated me like garbage, because they were rich compared to my family; years later when I was graduating college, and he was bumming around trying to deal drugs, his mom ran into me in a grocery store and very clearly regretted it. What was teenage me thinking?!

I can't even imagine this. What do you and the parent your stepmother is married to talk about?!

Oh man you are braver than me; I'd have moved

Oh no, that's awful. Can you cultivate a new group of friends, who don't believe in myths like friendly racists?

Oh god Frozen will never be the same

I only have one ex. He was pretty bad in most of the usual, unfunny ways a high school boyfriend could be—he told me constantly how terrible and annoying all his friends thought I was, implied he was the only person who would ever like me, and was disappointed with everything I thought, did, or was. He was always guilting me into doing things I didn't really want to do. Plus, he was just awful at sex stuff but thought he was AMAZING.

I put up with all of it for eons, in high school time—over a year and a half!—probably because he had me convinced I was unlikable. But there were a couple things that, 15 years later, STILL get me for how ridiculously insulting they were, namely:

1) He was disappointed by THE SPELLING OF MY NAME. "Oh, that's how you spell it? I thought you would have it spelled more interesting than that, like with an 'i'." (said as dismissively as humanly possible)

2) Possibly due to this perceived insufficiency, he pretty much never learned how to spell my full name. Like, after a YEAR of dating, he still couldn't be bothered to learn how my last name was spelled! I still can't figure out if he was completely oblivious, or if he was doing it on purpose as just one more way to undermine my confidence and self-esteem.

After HE eventually dumped ME (I knoooowww) he strung me along with promises we'd get back together for a couple months. I finally realized he was actually dating someone else while still trying to sleep with me on the side, and moved on. Then OF COURSE, he kept trying to corner me alone and talk me into getting back together with him! I believe his exact words once were "I forgot how cute you could be when you're happy"

Thank god I know little about horses and have little experience of horses, and will now never go seeking information about horses. The horses in that article may as well have been the horses from HorseMaster to me. It's much less disturbing that way, as you can pretend the whole article is just a fiction set in a future metropolitan hellscape.

The Magicians Trilogy by Lev Grossman actually does some of this really well.

I can't wholeheartedly recommend the series because I hated 95% of the characters in the first two books, but surprisingly I enjoyed the third book a lot.