Sandra M. Lopes49p
108 comments posted · 78 followers · following 0
E sim, tens de aparecer nalguns dos nossos encontros e eventos para pormos a conversa em dia :)
That's also the reason why I've been married for 17 years — our relationship is essentially based on a mutual mind attraction. We both have next-to-zero libido anyway, and neither of us considers themselves attractive, either.
As for the rest of your comment, I think you have evaluated yourself perfectly. The interest/desire was always there, it was just being actively suppressed; once you stopped your denial, it naturally surfaced as being part of your mindset. I'm actually very happy for you for not 'suppressing' yourself so much!
As for the rest of the comment, yes, the 'urge' is mostly in the mind, not in the body — but of course both are closely knit. Unfortunately, as you said, the body will not always comply with our urges. Currently I'm on anti-depressants and I still feel the urge to masturbate, for example, but it simply doesn't 'work' any more. In a sense, that's actually scary: thinking that simple medicine can rewire the brain and stop some things from happening against our wishes... On the other hand, it's great to know that we can artificially rewire the brain, or else we wouldn't be able to cure most mental diseases!
Just make sure you get a qualified teacher. That's usually simple enough to do: you should just ask them directly, 'who was your teacher and why did he allow you to teach?' A qualified teacher will have absolutely no problem in answering that truthfully, and allow you to check up on them by giving their own teacher's name (and contact). Unfortunately, a large number of so-called 'Buddhist teachers' out there are anything but qualified. This is nothing new, of course, there have been teachings for at least a thousand years or more to tell students how to figure out if someone claiming to me a teacher is a fraud or not.
Besides that, all you really need to pick is the nearest Buddhist centre and ask for some classes :) Note that traditionally teachers will never ask for payment for their teachings; however, it's supposed that students requesting teachings learn to practice generosity :)
Also, in order to be effective, the training requires a daily practice — at least 20-30 minutes every day, without fail. But you will start with possibly 3-5 minutes at the very beginning and gradually increase the time of practice. It's not really hard to do — much easier to learn than, say, riding a bicycle! — but it requires some diligence.
The Japanese are not 'perfect' though, they are also a very conservative society. The difference is perhaps that they have culturally a different relationship with sex than we Westerners do.
Still, it's one of those cases where all you need to improve is to practice it a lot :)