É isso mesmo, Susaninha, e o que se pode fazer entretanto é justamente saír, estar em público, mostrarmo-nos... mas sem despertar o ódio, o nojo, a desconfiança.

E sim, tens de aparecer nalguns dos nossos encontros e eventos para pormos a conversa em dia :)

That's interesting, and also very flattering, because I value much more a 'mind' relationship than a 'body' relationship, if that makes sense to you.

That's also the reason why I've been married for 17 years — our relationship is essentially based on a mutual mind attraction. We both have next-to-zero libido anyway, and neither of us considers themselves attractive, either.

Riiiiiiiiight.... My lips are sealed on that point :-)

Haha yes, Adrienne, that reminds me a conversation with my good friend @Erin Swallows, she also hopes that some day she'll be able to push the right button to make me 'change', but that is not going to happen — ever. Not in this life for sure :)

As for the rest of your comment, I think you have evaluated yourself perfectly. The interest/desire was always there, it was just being actively suppressed; once you stopped your denial, it naturally surfaced as being part of your mindset. I'm actually very happy for you for not 'suppressing' yourself so much!

Well, sex happens in the mind of animals as well — that's pretty well established in some cases, and little reason to believe it's different for other species, just because we are not able to study all species in the same way.

As for the rest of the comment, yes, the 'urge' is mostly in the mind, not in the body — but of course both are closely knit. Unfortunately, as you said, the body will not always comply with our urges. Currently I'm on anti-depressants and I still feel the urge to masturbate, for example, but it simply doesn't 'work' any more. In a sense, that's actually scary: thinking that simple medicine can rewire the brain and stop some things from happening against our wishes... On the other hand, it's great to know that we can artificially rewire the brain, or else we wouldn't be able to cure most mental diseases!

Hehe yes, I have to agree with you, and there is actually a fine dividing line between eroticism and pornography. For me, eroticism stimulates the mind (you imagine what could happen and derive some pleasure from that) while pornography just stimulates the senses (you watch what happens and derive pleasure from it). But of course, ultimately, it's all in your mind...

There is still time to pick up Buddhist training :) It's not restricted to any age, although I'd think that it makes more sense if you're older than 15 :-)

Just make sure you get a qualified teacher. That's usually simple enough to do: you should just ask them directly, 'who was your teacher and why did he allow you to teach?' A qualified teacher will have absolutely no problem in answering that truthfully, and allow you to check up on them by giving their own teacher's name (and contact). Unfortunately, a large number of so-called 'Buddhist teachers' out there are anything but qualified. This is nothing new, of course, there have been teachings for at least a thousand years or more to tell students how to figure out if someone claiming to me a teacher is a fraud or not.

Besides that, all you really need to pick is the nearest Buddhist centre and ask for some classes :) Note that traditionally teachers will never ask for payment for their teachings; however, it's supposed that students requesting teachings learn to practice generosity :)

Also, in order to be effective, the training requires a daily practice — at least 20-30 minutes every day, without fail. But you will start with possibly 3-5 minutes at the very beginning and gradually increase the time of practice. It's not really hard to do — much easier to learn than, say, riding a bicycle! — but it requires some diligence.

Oh yes, same here, we're hypocritical as well...

The Japanese are not 'perfect' though, they are also a very conservative society. The difference is perhaps that they have culturally a different relationship with sex than we Westerners do.

English is easy to learn, but sooooo hard to master... hehe

Still, it's one of those cases where all you need to improve is to practice it a lot :)

All right, I will agree with you on that point. I also tend to evaluate intelligence based on how people write. Often I get that wrong when meeting them in person; sometimes they simple aren't good at writing but nevertheless very intelligent...