en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/7259892 Comments by boojum http://the-toast.net/2016/06/29/thank-you/#IDComment1024963297 It's truuueeee, these stories were safe in your hands and in the hands of the readers and commenters on this site. I am going to miss The Toast and the community so much. Wed, 29 Jun 2016 17:16:03 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/06/29/thank-you/#IDComment1024963297 https://the-toast.net/2016/06/07/if-jason-bateman-were-your-boyfriend/#IDComment1022621080 I didn't realize until I read the following that Jason Bateman is my soul mate: “Ugh, this person on Twitter is GARBAGE and their Twitter is LITTER ON THE FACE OF THE INTERNET,” you’d tell him. The next time you mention them, he would be like, “Oh I remember: litter on the face of the internet, right? They always reply to your jokes and yet never fave them? God, what did they do this time?” This is not what I expected! But I'm good with it. Tue, 7 Jun 2016 21:49:28 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/06/07/if-jason-bateman-were-your-boyfriend/#IDComment1022621080 http://the-toast.net/2016/05/17/relationships-misogyny-asians-dating-out__trashed/#IDComment1021305000 Hieu: so much this: "as a fellow 2nd gen Asian American (and monoracial and nonadopted to boot), I think we have our own really weird thoughts about what is "traditional" and "cultural." So much of it is rooted in "whatever our parents told us" which I've realized is an incredibly flawed lens to view our own heritages." My parents left Taiwan in the late 60s and their idea of what constitutes Taiwanese culture is a time capsule. I had nothing to compare it with until university. That was its own kind of culture shock. Tue, 17 May 2016 17:08:33 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/05/17/relationships-misogyny-asians-dating-out__trashed/#IDComment1021305000 https://the-toast.net/2016/05/16/madeline-kahn-briefly-had-a-tv-show-called-oh-madeline/#IDComment1021229674 Wow, that is ZANY! Mon, 16 May 2016 18:12:49 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/05/16/madeline-kahn-briefly-had-a-tv-show-called-oh-madeline/#IDComment1021229674 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/20/on-money-anxiety-and-marriage/#IDComment1019538751 Oh, this piece, Nicole. I grew up under similar circumstances and feel so many of these worries--and occupy a similar role in my marriage. The fear never really goes away. Just yesterday, I checked AGAIN to make sure the erroneous hospital bill we received 4 years ago hadn't resurfaced. (It hadn't.) Wed, 20 Apr 2016 15:26:48 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/20/on-money-anxiety-and-marriage/#IDComment1019538751 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/15/link-roundup-532/#IDComment1016642147 So do her fans, apparently. Tue, 15 Mar 2016 15:11:19 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/15/link-roundup-532/#IDComment1016642147 https://the-toast.net/2016/02/29/in-which-three-adults-discuss-the-hero-and-the-crown-seriously-and-at-length/#IDComment1014380425 I was icked out/in denial because he's her teacher and he knew her mother. Mon, 29 Feb 2016 18:28:06 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/02/29/in-which-three-adults-discuss-the-hero-and-the-crown-seriously-and-at-length/#IDComment1014380425 https://the-toast.net/2016/02/29/in-which-three-adults-discuss-the-hero-and-the-crown-seriously-and-at-length/#IDComment1014375162 TEAM TOR! Because he is not afraid to let Aerin shine. He knows she's better and stronger than he is and that is how men should be. But also yeah, now the race stuff in Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword bothers me. In the Blue Sword, Damar is surrounded by desert and Harry is an English (or perhaps Welsh) woman (with 1/4 Damarian blood) and is sent to what is clearly a British colonial outpost and saves everyone. And Aerin is a redhead who saves a bunch of black-haired people. IDK. Mon, 29 Feb 2016 17:08:21 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/02/29/in-which-three-adults-discuss-the-hero-and-the-crown-seriously-and-at-length/#IDComment1014375162 http://the-toast.net/2016/02/02/trini-english-proper-english/#IDComment1011859207 *linguistically messy Taiwanese fist bump* This essay is so thought provoking and excellent and the description of the "overcorrection" in the accent is so true. Tue, 2 Feb 2016 18:28:41 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/02/02/trini-english-proper-english/#IDComment1011859207 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/28/the-princess-and-the-pea-if-the-pea-were-a-small-piece-of-mild-criticism/#IDComment1011410252 The worst thing is that I always return to the same place to sleep at night. Thu, 28 Jan 2016 17:24:53 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/28/the-princess-and-the-pea-if-the-pea-were-a-small-piece-of-mild-criticism/#IDComment1011410252 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/20/a-personal-history-in-korean-dramas/#IDComment1010674115 I love this bit: I sometimes wonder if that — plus the Catholic guilt and my conservative Filipino upbringing — is why I was so discomfited by overt displays of sexuality and bald yearning, especially in romantic films. That somehow, that expression of sexuality, of emotion, of pursuit was clearly not meant for me. I could never be the actor, I could never be the pursuer, I could never be the one falling head over heels. Depictions of Asian people in North American film/TV/books/pop culture are so limited and it ends up limiting how we think of ourselves. Thank you so much for writing this. Wed, 20 Jan 2016 19:43:20 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/20/a-personal-history-in-korean-dramas/#IDComment1010674115 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/13/my-father-the-church-and-why-i-left/#IDComment1009957515 My kid was invited to a birthday party this summer. We didn't know the parents or anyone there, but there was so much food, and there were so many people--not just the hosts--talking to us, making sure we were welcome, inviting us to eat, keeping an eye on the kids. It felt really familiar to me and I didn't know why. It struck me later that the main reason they knew each other and that they had these roles was likely because of church. So yeah, I miss it, too. Wed, 13 Jan 2016 17:57:20 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/13/my-father-the-church-and-why-i-left/#IDComment1009957515 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/13/my-father-the-church-and-why-i-left/#IDComment1009956121 Thanks! And thanks to everyone who has commented. It was hard to write. Wed, 13 Jan 2016 17:37:57 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/13/my-father-the-church-and-why-i-left/#IDComment1009956121 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009209705 Hey, it's 2016 and you think all Asians are Chinese! Haha! And also that our heroine wasn't trying to think of a quip! Hoho! Wed, 6 Jan 2016 16:01:30 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009209705 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009084265 OMG Sulagna. Oh MY GOD. Tue, 5 Jan 2016 18:16:47 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009084265 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009076403 Oh god, it's two-way unpleasantness. When you do say something, the burn of having a stupid argument never leaves--and very often a 3rd party WILL blame you for spoiling their evening. When you don't say something, the guilt and shame for not saying and representing and standing up for oneself lasts, too. This is great. I am going to reread this many times. Thanks for writing it. Tue, 5 Jan 2016 16:44:48 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/05/what-goes-through-your-mind-casual-racism/#IDComment1009076403 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008709340 For that matter, how does one know when I'm NOT writing about race, hmmmm? (OK, I will stop replying to myself.) Mon, 4 Jan 2016 18:17:13 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008709340 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008705032 Also, a reviewer once noted I didn't talk about race enough in one of my books. To be fair, it was a mild side comment BUT still, I was like, how much should one talk about it? 15%? 20%? Mon, 4 Jan 2016 17:26:43 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008705032 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008702092 AHHH, this! I cackle-groaned at this: "I am Black, after all; I should be able to write what Amazon tells me is Black." When I was at RWA 2015, romance writer Phyllis Bourne talked about how she was told her writing wasn't black enough. The mind just boggles! Mon, 4 Jan 2016 16:49:31 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/04/i-wrote-the-accent-a-black-writer-on-urban-romance/#IDComment1008702092 http://the-toast.net/2015/12/30/link-roundup-482/#IDComment1008242441 Oh, and I've also resolved to tweet less about my kid because she's growing up and becoming more aware etc etc. Ugh. Wed, 30 Dec 2015 14:49:46 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/12/30/link-roundup-482/#IDComment1008242441