Clankie

Clankie

100p

41 comments posted · 1 followers · following 0

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Hot New Conservative T... · 0 replies · +8 points

I seriously sat here for quite some time trying to figure out how to actually spend money without creating any jobs. You could burn it, (which is like spending it) but only if you did so using sticks acquired from the woods, like a boy scout. I mean start the fire like a boy scout in the woods, not that you should acquire the sticks in the same manner in which one would acquire a boy scout from the woods, there's no point in being that furtive. Using a lighter or a match would, obviously, count as a minute patronization of the company that made said match or lighter, thereby helping (although at a fairly small proportion to the money you will be burning in the process) to create jobs.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Hot New Conservative T... · 3 replies · +16 points

I really enjoy the bit where he says "The government can't create jobs, it can only take money and spend it." You know, on things that obviously aren't job creation; like candy, or video games.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Weekly Standard: Barac... · 1 reply · +11 points

reality. Clearly, they are both a couple of well versed, cunning linguists. Have you seen the way their wives look at them?

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Weekly Standard: Barac... · 4 replies · +44 points

As he reclined back in his lawn chair, admiring the incredible polish he had just given his bitchin Camaro, Joe cracked a beer and a smile as he thought of the day's events. He had known it would only be a matter of time before Barack would succumb to his masculine charms. All those shirtless meetings discussing foreign diplomacy, the late night shirtless wrestling in the oval office, and not to mention all those days he spent washing his car, bare torso glimmering in the sun, as Barack would lay on the grass nearby, reading aloud passages from his books for anyone who happened by. From the very first moment their eyes had met, Joe had known that this one, with his soulful eyes and lithe ivy league athletics frame, he would be his. His heartbeat quickened as he thought of when they might next meet, alone, away from the prying eyes of the press corps and their two loving wives, as well as any of their children that might be around; as two men who hold hands are clearly gay for each other.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Weekly Standard: Barac... · 10 replies · +75 points

He could hear the rain falling softly outside, soon this rain would become snow, which would then, in time, become rain again. Things change, come to pass, move forward, the current of time carries us no matter how we may struggle to remain in one beautiful moment. One perfect moment, when silently, through only a simple touch, true feelings are laid bare. Desires, longings, those urges that we fight back and try to suppress, all illuminated in the blazing light of day when two hands, both reaching for something they have longed with all their hearts, finally meet. 'Finally', thought Barack, 'I finally know he feels the same way about me that I do about him.' Now it was only a matter of time.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - A Children's Treasury ... · 0 replies · +3 points

Oh, God, fuck boulder in its self-satisfied ass. Boulder is where 'leftists' go to all get together, feel good about themselves, and accomplish nothing whatsoever outside their own little insulated environs.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - A Children's Treasury ... · 0 replies · +13 points

Since all the rednecks and assholes in Colorado live outside the city limits (too many blacks, mexicans, and poors) there is literally NO reason to not visit our fair city. We have beautiful mountains, mining/refinery/homeless feces polluted rivers, weed stores on every corner, a beer baron for a governor/former mayor, and one of the most racist and brutality-prone police departments in the nation. You can also make a day trip out of going to Colorado Springs and taking the tour at Focus on the Family, and then trying to reconcile their concept of the divine with the raging hellstorm of a forest fire that nearly consumed their city.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - A Children's Treasury ... · 14 replies · +24 points

So, not coming to Denver then?
We're not on fire, anymore.
At least, not literally.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Let Us Memorialize Thi... · 0 replies · +5 points

This letter does raise a very good point, which is that we would all be better served by Mitt Romney/Jan Brewer 2012/forever.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - A Children's Treasury ... · 0 replies · +36 points

Is there some way that we can get some teabaggin' rep to go on camera and call him a communist? Because that would play well in campaign ads across the country. "I may have no political experience and list smoking weed as a job occupation, but my opponent, Rep. Clancey Taintsuckler said he wanted Andy Griffith to burn in hell."