perlandra

perlandra

79p

268 comments posted · 0 followers · following 0

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My F... · 1 reply · +3 points

I was confused too, and didn't think that response was called for.

Personally, I don't offer to split the bill, but will without making a fuss about it if the guy asks. It isn't a dealbreaker or automatic I won't accept another date with him, but it makes me feel it's unromantic of him to ask. I'd pay attention to body language, other aspects of the date, if he held the door for me, etc., but most guys who've asked me to pay half either haven't asked me out again, or I wasn't interested.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My F... · 0 replies · +1 points

I buy my bras at Ross. They have hard-to-find sizes, usually super cute with lace or different colors, and are usually around $5. :)

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My F... · 0 replies · +2 points

I'm kinda in-between on it. I do like to dress up, including cute undies even if I don't plan to have him see them, on a first date, and want to make a good impression. I usually do wear makeup, and got really flustered when I forgot my eyeliner at home on a first date. He was cool with it, and we've had dates every day since except Tuesday this past week! :)

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: My F... · 0 replies · +1 points

Exactly! I'm fine with going out on a cheap or free date (band, bellydance or band at a coffeeshop, walk in a well-populated park, concert/shakespeare in the park, free day at a museum, etc.). To me, splitting the bill feels really unromantic, and makes it feel like a business or friends lunch rather than a date. I'm ok with swapping off who pays, or I pay for movie, they pay for dinner, or some such.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Approach Women ... · 0 replies · +1 points

I don't knit, but I love the www.worstedforwear.com web comic about knitting. :)

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Approach Women ... · 0 replies · +3 points

I do like chit-chatting with random strangers, though I'm not into casual sex. I can be rather a social butterfly, but I am pretty reliable about making plans.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Approach Women ... · 0 replies · +5 points

Yeah, I don't know if I would bother getting in touch with them to talk more if they gave me their contact info (I definitely wouldn't give them mine), and asking me on a date the first time we've met would scare me off.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Approach Women ... · 0 replies · +6 points

Yep little compliments or a little comment about the situation you're in can be a great conversation starter!

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Overcoming Your Dating... · 0 replies · 0 points

I don't remember who quoted it here on DNL, but it's from "Carrie Bradshaw" (character on Sex and the City): "I’d much rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea." http://www.quotery.com/quotes/id-much-rather-be-s...

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Overcoming Your Dating... · 0 replies · +8 points

Absolutely! I've been in a couple of relationships with men who were very inexperienced, and were up-front with me about it. I haven't found there was a problem with the "minute man" thing, and I haven't had to deal with those kinds of attitudes and behaviours (treating me like a slut for having been in a few relationships before, for example). I've mostly been very lucky in the men I've dated being sweet and decent human beings. :) However, the confidence thing *can* be very draining. No matter how reassuring and such I am, I'm not a professional psychologist or anything, and I can't cure all their self-esteem issues with the Magic of Sex [tm]. *sigh*

My last two serious relationships were both with guys who were inexperienced, and both wound up telling me that they didn't know if they loved me, because they hadn't experienced romantic love before. I didn't expect it instantly or anything, we'd been dating for months. It really hurt, and messed with my self-esteem, and I wound up breaking up with them because I was worried I'd get pushy, and it was making me feel badly about myself.

I'm still feeling a bit gunshy about getting involved again. That's in general, though if the guy's more inexperienced, it seems even more likely to happen, but it's so hard to trust and be vulnerable and love someone, and discover that they just don't feel that way about me, even though they like me, care about me, and think I'm hot.

For that matter, there's different axes of inexperience - someone could be experienced with sex but not at all with relationships, or have had a relationship with someone that was very emotionally close and romantic but didn't involve sex for some reason, or they might have experience with BDSM but not vanilla sex, or vice-versa.