It may not be of a scale to count as an atrocity, but please consider adding the Puritan acts in the pre-U.S. colonies, mostly hangings, of Quakers, nonbelievers, different-believers, and people accused of witchcraft. Any non-Puritanism was a capital crime.

Picture Joffrey and Cersei at Chick-Fil-A. But it might just be the chain's covert way of reinforcing their medieval values through the unifying medium of fried meat.

Oh, I gotcha -- wasn't snarking; just had a vision of self clenching Le Creuset pan of kugel between my knees in modified Foster Friess aspirin-as-birth-control technique. I blinked.

Zygotes Have Rights! (Unless They Become Fertile Females)

My grandmother's noodle kugel might prevent pregnancy, but not abortion.

My darlings, two things: first, "Under the Sea Salad" has been around forever, and there are myriad disgusting variations involving inappropriate vegetables and condiments. Like PCP, it keeps returning in school lunchrooms until someone (temporarily) breaks the chain of evil once more. Search for Weight Watchers Recipe Cards and postwar Ladies' Home Journal recipes -- but only on an empty stomach.

Mmm, good questions! I don't know if she's Justin's strongest competition, but Michele is my next favorite. Her outgoing warmth is very infectious and uncalculated, which grabs me and hangs on. Most of the others do seem sincere, but they have boundaries or inhibitions that keep me from being as engaged by them.

The other candidates cover well-traveled topics, and have approaches that are fresh from the cookie cutter. Nice folks, but not knowledgeable enough to show me something new, and not charming enough to make me want to revisit familiar ground. Justin is ahead of the pack, being knowledgeable, interesting, and genuinely nice. Nikki was a favorite of mine in the beginning, but now she's the worst. When she indifferently admitted that the flower petals on her last dish were simply added to complement her latest fake persona, it was an open declaration that her food is invalid. She might be an honest cook at home, but what she does for her judges (and audience!) lacks integrity.

But as much as I am a longtime fan of Alton, I have really enjoyed Bobby and Giada, who seem more interesting and appealing here, in their conversations and coaching, than in their own shows. Bob and Susie also impress me -- they have a good balance of candor and tact, and the insight into the network's needs is really fascinating.

So -- thanks for asking, it was fun to answer. :-)

EE was the Home Ec teacher I've always wanted! And *not* wanting to unpack her baggage all over TV made me want to cheer. Let her keep some privacy until (if and when) she feels like sharing. Her POV is strong, her personality sparkles, and everyone loved her food -- we don't need a blood sample and backstory to add interest. She might not be the NFNS, but she should be given a job anyway. The Network needs a gem like her. Just give her more camera training and turn her loose!

Martita's nice, but she hasn't shown us anything we haven't seen a million times, and Nicki seems shallow, hostile, and calculating, with nothing interesting to add. Worse, her POV manipulation ("self as repackageable commodity") is like watching sausage get made. We've seen too much nastiness to enjoy the flavor.

Justin, it's up to you!