okay, so, while we are all here, I am going to go ahead and complain about how INCREDIBLY nonsensical this movie's timeline is. Literally no aspect of the passage of time makes sense at any point in the entire movie.

Like: what year is it? Belle's blue dress does not actually correspond to anything anyone has worn at any point in history ever, but you could kind of mayyyyybe make a case for 1820s if you squint. But her big gold dress (and Beast's fancy outfit too!) appears to be pre-Revolutionary, or at least sort of like a pre-Revolutionary gown as drawn by someone who has never actually seen one. And if the Beast was cursed shortly before the French Revolution, that would at least explain how an entire fully-staffed castle and a member of the nobility went missing without anyone noticing. But they've only been cursed for ten years! Those are not Empire outfits! What the fuck.

and WHILE I'M AT IT, how old was the Beast when he was cursed? Because (again, cursed for ten years) he doesn't seem to be much older than Belle when he's un-cursed, and she's early-20s at most. Did the enchantress curse a 14-year-old? Not cool, enchantress.

Also, here is a fun game: try to track the passage of seasons based on the presence of foliage/snow in the background, and tell me how long a period of time the events of this film cover, or even what month it is at any given point. Go on. TRY.

Good lord. Hi, Matt! You may remember me as the youngest poster at b.org, although that got weird after a while because it turns out having an exhaustive record of stuff you said on the Internet when you were 13 is hugely embarrassing.

S3 is my favorite season overall (fewest dud episodes, and the Mayor is SO GREAT) but S2 has the most gripping story arc when Angel goes evil.

Were you around for Jeff Pruitt's epic meltdown? God, that was weird.

oh my god, I have participated in every single one of these arguments SO MANY TIMES. SO MANY. And still have v. strong feelings about them, to the tune of 20 pages of fanzine (download links at nonasuch.tumblr.com, if you want one).

One thing I have noticed is that every few years, the character I most identify with changes. In high school, I was a shy, awkward nerd and felt a deep abiding kinship with Willow. After I crashed and burned in college, Xander's flailing toward adulthood resonated. When I started to get a sense of how to be a grown-up, I admired Buffy for doing the same despite much, much bigger challenges. These days, I appear to be easing my way towards Gilesdom, which is a weird feeling.

That was what happened when I saw Ben Browder at Dragoncon! I wasn't even in line to meet him-- I walked past, glanced over, and FROZE, caught like a deer in the headlights of his unbelievable attractiveness.

Ugh, last Thanksgiving my grandmother told my sisters and me that she wanted us to come over and pick out the jewelry we wanted left to us in her will, and I swear to god we all flinched away so hard from the mere thought of it that the three of us ended up in the next room. I still refuse to do it, because Grandma is going to live forever la la la I can't hear you.

Oh man. Recently I was walking to Takoma Metro, and passed the Electric Maid, a shoebox-sized community arts space where I attended punk shows in high school. There were a bunch of kids outside, obviously waiting for a show to start. I'm not sure that "N'awww, lookit the babypunks!!!" was an appropriate response, but at least I managed not to say it out loud.

Holy hell, you guys, I have never felt more suburban in my life. The most alarming wildlife encounter I have ever had was the time a flock of turkeys chased my mom and sister down the street at Colonial Williamsburg.

Okay, now do Edna St. Vincent Millay.