gdp's Comments

Wonkville : Bundy & Bunker Bros Blunder Bigtime, Authorities Arrest Anarchy Assholes.

Wed, 27 Jan 2016 06:10:24 +0000

Brave Sir Ritzheimer ran away (No!) Bravely ran away away (I didn't!) When danger reared its ugly head He bravely turned his tail and fled (No!) Yes, brave Sir Ritzheimer turned about (I didn't!) And gallantly he chickened out . . . (with full apologies to Monty Python)

Wonkette : Federal Judge To Alabama: Do What I F*cking Said Already!

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 20:49:07 +0000

So being too stupid to understand the law, even when said law is explained clearly and in very simple words, is not an impediment to being a judge in Alabama? How much does it pay to be a judge there, and do I actually have to step foot in the state, or can I telecommute?

Wonkette : Fox News: Science Is A Hoax That Steals Our Freedom And Driving Privileges

Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:43:06 +0000

I've heard a good vacuuming gets your spacesuit extra clean. Which is especially nice after you've peed in your helmet.

Wonkette : Georgia Senate Demands A.P. History Only Teach About Shiny, Happy America

Mon, 2 Feb 2015 16:01:52 +0000

Well, except in Georgia, where they would prefer history written by losers.

Wonkette : AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 20:00:42 +0000

Be careful in Hawaii -- their cocoanuts are out to kill, but at least you're pretty much guaranteed to get lei'd.

Wonkette : AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:57:05 +0000

If I fail the test, can I be deported to Canada? Please?

Wonkette : Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:48:24 +0000

They should really show us and fast for a year.

Wonkette : You'll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wed, 7 Jan 2015 20:13:55 +0000

This is Fox we're talking about. We're lucky they didn't report France's Muslim population as 107%.

Wonkette : New House Speaker Louie Gohmert Will Fix America, Depose Dumb Drunk RINO John Boehner

Mon, 5 Jan 2015 15:34:56 +0000

Theater of the Absolute Turd.

Wonkette : Hold On To The Holiday Spirit: Your Friday Cocktail Hour Spiked Cider

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 02:33:56 +0000

Maybe I should try this one -- my cocktail since last night has been an occasional swig directly from the 1.75 litre bottle of bourbon at the edge of the couch next to my puke bucket.

Wonkette : So You Want To Mommyblog At Yr Wonkette

Sat, 3 Jan 2015 02:18:19 +0000

Only if you let me discuss Roy Roger's horse! Surely by now Shypixel has figured out a decent Bayesian algorithm he can use to figure out whether our comments are about the thing you stick your finger on to fire a weapon, a famous horse, or the spawn of a certain Palin.

Wonkette : How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?

Fri, 2 Jan 2015 22:20:06 +0000

Manbook sounds like a great idea. If the names and addresses and photos of all members were to be posted online and freely accessible, it would make an excellent dating version of the no-fly list.

Wonkette : How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?

Fri, 2 Jan 2015 22:09:41 +0000

That's just silly. It's more likely that everyone -- man, woman, the range in between or mineral -- they've met or interacted with in any way hate them, not just the women/hands/sheep that they've had relationships with.

Wonkette : So You Want To Mommyblog At Yr Wonkette

Fri, 2 Jan 2015 22:03:27 +0000

I can't even keep up with reading and writing comments -- how the fuck would I find time to write the tens of words needed to create an article? If we go back to the glory days of buttsechs and butterstick, I could probably come up with an awesomely generic template for stories, however. Something something assfucking something something PANDAS R FUKKIN' KEWT!!1!! something something obligatory Stuef comment that tr1ggers massive Internet butthurt . . . Oh hey, do I get the job? And if so, may I have the keys to the comment content filter?

Wonkette : How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?

Fri, 2 Jan 2015 20:32:34 +0000

Have any of these fine fellows ever considered that perhaps it's not that every woman in the world hates them and is out to ruin their lives, but that they are in fact loathsome trolls who should learn to how shut up and how to interact with people?

Wonkette : Sarah Palin Pisses Off Allllll The Animal Lovers. Oh Like You've Never Stepped On A Dog

Fri, 2 Jan 2015 16:51:05 +0000

Isn't the other one a saber-toothed tiger? They still hunt those in Alaska, don't they?

Wonkette : 2014: The Year The Stupidest Man On The Internet Handed Off His Aluminum Crown

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 19:51:09 +0000

Is journalist a lifetime title? If so, I wrote an opinion column in my high school newspaper, so please refer to me as the journalist natoslug, not the occasional blogger, photographer, code-monkey and maker-of-sandwiches natoslug.

Wonkette : Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 14:19:37 +0000

Touch and go? Are you confirming the rumor I read somewhere on the Internet that Chuck C. Johnson likes to touch school children?

Wonkette : Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 02:25:04 +0000

Unless he's either a fan of colloidal silver or into autoerotic asphyxiation (both?), he really ought to see a doc about his oxygen levels. His skin looks much too blue for a ginger.

Wonkette : Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 22:11:13 +0000

~~yeah I broke a kid's arm in sixth grade~~"Yeah, last year I broke a 6th-grader's arm." fify, chuckups.