gdp's Comments

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 21:04:54 +0000

"Lesson learned on my part about trying to engage in conversation." Ditto. It won't happen again.

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 21:04:09 +0000

"I thought you were being playful with your question, so I answered likewise. My mistake." Ditto.

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 20:46:06 +0000

Oh WHOA, I thought this was in fun and games, hence my laughter. I think it's relevant because we're discussin "perfect partners" and a lot of people have physical characteristics on their wish lists. I think my answer was pretty similar to hers?!?! So right now I'm pretty confused at why your response to me sounds so hostile. But maybe I missed something.

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 20:25:58 +0000

Perfect for me is a man I can completely submit to, because [my kink runs deep]. *giggles*

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 20:23:39 +0000

For the same reason boys include an hour glass frame in their idea of perfect. Stop plain Dr. J. lol.

Single Black Male : The Perfect Woman: An Argument for Commitment

Mon, 21 May 2012 17:48:49 +0000

This. Ish. Right. Here. Just met 'im. Prolly just leavin 'im too. But really, arrogance on 1 trillion. iCaint. And then they find out you have some accomplishments of your own (from out in the world) and come back like "why you aint tell me you...." Ummm because I aint know we were in an accomplishment pizzin contest boy. SIGH.

WordPress blog at up4discussion.org : I Wanna be Your…Mistress?

Thu, 17 May 2012 15:17:39 +0000

I'm aiming for modern day concubine. He aint gotta be filthy rich, but wealthy enough to maintain all of us is ideal.

Single Black Male : Why Black Women Should Date White Men

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:49:08 +0000

I've never "really" done it (tried to talk to/date), outside of a very short lived attempt at it with a friend. That doesn't count... like one time and/or vacation sex. (I mean, that's what I heard) Anyway. I've never had interest. I mean ZERO interest. Too much love for black men, have great fathers in my life, know many good black men, need somebody who "gets" me due to shared history, and onnn and onnn and onnnnnnnnn. (I got a million reasons to love a black man, and obligation aint one. Well... maybe... nevermind.) Ahem. However. I am now interested. Possibly. Maybe. Yep. My recent post On Slacking & Blocking Your Own Progress

Single Black Male : Why Success and True Love Always Seem to Misalign

Fri, 11 May 2012 17:13:06 +0000

I agree, i coulda just cosigned you before I commented lol.

Single Black Male : Why Success and True Love Always Seem to Misalign

Fri, 11 May 2012 17:11:28 +0000

This was a fawkingly awesome post. Probably my favorite from you Dr. J. It's hard to comment on this.... I could probably write a post about the other side... like what happens when you marry that person you loved in your teens BEFORE you go away to school and grow... especially if they don't grow in similar ways right next to you? The assumption is, because you're already married, there's no choice to make. (I would also have said this, believed this.) But in reality, there is always a choice. And it's not always YOU who gets to make the choice, either. I am still a very strong proponent of choosing love and partnership early- before career choices are solidified. I think our generation waits entirely too long. I think growing _together_ is highly underated. The challenge, both in your scenario and mine, is making sure folks grow together so that one person isn't feeling like their only connection is the one y'all had before you amassed your newfound characteristics. Well, that, and the fact that not everyone is as committed to growth as we might be. If we could make it past that bumpy part where the old us turns into the new us? It could be beautiful.

Single Black Male : How Can Women Avoid The Friend Zone?

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:29:57 +0000

"First, if she doesn't want to be in the friend zone she can leave. Everyone can leave the friend zone if they are committed to it." Priceless.

Single Black Male : How Can Women Avoid The Friend Zone?

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Yep. And the thing is, if the problem is "you're fat" you can lose weight, but who's gonna tell homegurl that she's busted in the face? Hmmm slim to none.

Single Black Male : How Can Women Avoid The Friend Zone?

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:23:14 +0000

I've read this a couple times, but I'm confused as to what your advice is...

Single Black Male : How Can Women Avoid The Friend Zone?

Thu, 10 May 2012 15:07:05 +0000

Good question, great post! I've battled this since high school. I agree with this advice: "Ask them to keep it 100, and pull no punches. be prepared to hear anything, accept the constructive criticism, and see what you have to do to improve your situation." I've done this. It was _EXTREMELY_ helpful. The most common answer I already knew: "You're fat." The most common answer that I didn't realize: "If I didn't know you, I would assume you're gay." It was eye opening and led to great conversation, actually. And I do notice a difference in the kind of attention I get when I'm in super-gurly mode, compared to at the bar watching football in my fitted and Js... which matters in terms of initial catergorization. And losing weight has also began to balance the friend zone vs dating interests ratio.

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 19:45:17 +0000

Yes sir, me and mine do. Sometimes it's as Girl6 said- rounds back and forth, bday gurl never pays. Other times it's whoever has cash because the hole in the wall don't take credit. Other times, the person who invites pays, especially if they pick a place out of the other person's respected budget. Sometimes one gurl has a hook up at the bar, so she pays because if she weren't paying, the man behind the bar wouldn't be giving us as many free drinks inbetween. But bottom line: yes absolutely we buy each other drinks, regularly. My recent post A Week Ago

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 19:35:29 +0000

Nah... if you were speaking French? I'd still understand *wink* But it came from assuming that if the line of thinking that says if he doesnt pay (or explain why he isn't paying) he shouldn't get mad if he gets "nothing" is true, then the inverse would also be true- meaning, if he does pay he should get "something." FWIW, I thought you initial retort: "....to be treated like a man on a DATE, & not like a friend I hung out with for a few hours. LOL!" explained it nicely. My recent post A Week Ago

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 18:50:11 +0000

I'm gonna put this one in the WIM-Specific category. I'd say this is pretty uncommon outside of your "circle." You're the first adult I know that doesn't share the expense of a night out among their true, actual friends!

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 18:47:45 +0000

Ohhhh ok that was going to be my next question; I knew there had to be exceptions, otherwise this was nearly unbelievable lol.

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 17:14:26 +0000

LMAO. This is where that "I bought you dinner, therefore you owe me..." conversation originates from, sigh!

Single Black Male : Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

Wed, 2 May 2012 16:02:30 +0000

Really?! Like, if you're at a bar watching a game and you text your boy to come out you won't buy him a beer? Why?