lauralyzer

lauralyzer

105p

55 comments posted · 8 followers · following 0

7 years ago @ The Toast - Things I Would Do If A... · 0 replies · +4 points

Nightmares forever. Holy shit.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Things I Would Do If A... · 0 replies · +8 points

I am absolutely certain that every spider in history has but one life goal: to be on my face. No one has ever been able to prove otherwise.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Let's Talk About Our F... · 0 replies · +2 points

OOOOOO A SNAAAAAAAAAKE
I SEE A SNAAAAAAAAAKE

#neverforget

7 years ago @ The Toast - Let's Talk About Our F... · 1 reply · +2 points

My actual first internet memory was being on dial-up (yes) and going on a BBS (YES) and messaging with this one guy from my school. I have no idea what we talked about. We never actually spoke to each other when we were at school, either.

The golden age of awesome internet came about after I was out of high school.
- ICQ - remember that little "uh-oh!" sound when you had a message?
- Strongbad: The System! Is Down! The System! Is Down! (Still have this on my workout playlist, and I'm not ashamed)
- Speaking of playlists - Napster! And the weird cartoon parady of Metallica saying "Napster BAAAAAAD!"
- The dirigiberbil. Does ANYONE else remember the dirigiberbil? It's still here: http://rathergood.com/mark/
- There was also this crazy video with Princess Leia and Darth Vader (can't remember if it was figurines or movie clips) set to an Alanis Morissette song. It was AWESOME.

I am FREAKING OUT

8 years ago @ The Toast - What Was Your First Sc... · 0 replies · +7 points

In 1994, Jada Pinkett Smith (then, just Jada Pinkett) starred as a character called Peaches in "A Low Down Dirty Shame". I remember nothing about this movie except that I LOVED the character of Peaches, who talked fast and took no shit from nobody. What a perfect role model for 19-year-old me! Having no idea that "peaches" had any other connotation, I tried to name myself after her for my first screen name. "Peaches" was already taken, as were many many variants, so I ended up with the vaguely-French "lespeaches".

I got hit on by women CONSTANTLY in the chat rooms and had no idea why. For years.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Femslash Friday: Rizzo... · 0 replies · +2 points

THIS IS BRILLIANT. Thank you, Mallory!!

8 years ago @ The Toast - Texts From A Tiny Glow... · 0 replies · +3 points

Yes, the book (and more so the movie) gave sharks the reputation as man-killers and caused a lot of shark-killing in response. Benchley wasn't a shark conservationist when he wrote it, but became one later in life and worked to use his celebrity to reverse the effects. Thumbs up, Benchley!

'tis not every day I get to use my ridiculous store of Jaws-related knowledge on The Toast. Thanks for the opportunity.

8 years ago @ The Toast - "Please God make it st... · 0 replies · +32 points

I can relate to so much of this. Thank you for sharing it.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Children's Stories Mad... · 0 replies · +19 points

DAMMIT MALLORY

This is, like, Lovecraftian levels of terror. BECAUSE IT IS ALL TRUE.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Some Photos from the C... · 0 replies · +1 points

I just love this so much. It is so, so comforting. Yes.